User:Artillary

To be called a radical and extremist - even sarcastically - by my own father, makes me realize I am on the wrong path. I do not wish to normalize racist and hateful ideologies within myself, even if I have legitimate concerns about these topics. I notice that the more I spend my time alone, the more I fall into these environments. When I am at a crossroads in life, I adopt political ideas that feel certain but are hollow. In reality, I do not hate black people, nor do I hate homosexuals. My religious beliefs force me to confront the contradiction of my imposed racism and hatred by these online communities. There are Christians living in Africa and Asia like there are Christians living in Europe. There are Christian Jews. There are Christian Indians. There are other religions too, and while I have a strong dislike of them I do not want to hate anyone anymore. I caught myself slipping into a cycle of hatred and radicalization that would consume me if I obsessed over it. I realize that the Sharty and other similar platforms work to radicalize people like me into hating people I've never met before, and I don't want to be a part of that anymore. Online communities are dangerous if you don't truly realize what the group is saying. I was lucky to question my beliefs, some don't and never make it out.

At the same time, it is very difficult to deconstruct beliefs that you know is wrong and anti-social but you cannot bring yourself to stop believing. I do not believe children are safe around femboys or trans people for example. It is a belief that is so reinforced through exposure that it is one of the few things that will take a lot of time to deconstruct (if I ever do so). The soysphere was really funny to me, but now it's just miserable. I notice how rabid everyone has become, and how serious the discussion has been because of all the drama that has happened over the years. I've become an encyclopedia of useless soyjak knowledge, and it's never done anything for my life. You might be keyed according to a few trolls online but that doesn't matter. I haven't had contact with my friends for weeks, I've only been using the computer and waiting for the summer to be over. I value my loved ones more than this shitty place. And I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

I hope more people do what I'm doing now. There's still time to get yourself out before it's too late. As for me, I am deleting every account I currently use associated with the soysphere and I'm not looking back. This was one waste of a special interest.

God bless you all.