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This page is related to Nintendo
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 何！？このページは汚い外人の業だぁ！！！ (驚愕)
Don’t bow to anything you see. Nvke any American 港 while gooning to anime to learn the TRVTH. |
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yaaay nintendo i wuv mawio!!
Soyjaks, cucks, faggots and other assorted real-life soyboys will ALWAYS defend Nintendo's actions no matter how absolutely retarded they are, such as when Nintendo sold an unaltered version of Super Mario 64 (a game from 1996) for $60 in 2017, sold sets of cardboard for $80[1], and sued or threatened legal action against their own fans hundreds of times for such heinous crimes such as: emulating their game consoles[2]; sharing ROMs of 40 year old games (most of which you can't even buy legally anywhere)[3]; hosting Super Smash Bros tournaments[4]; making custom joycon shells[5]; uploading video game OSTs to YouTube[6]; and the most heinous crime of all of humanity... making fangames of their franchises (KKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK)[7]. Nintendo fanboys are especially concerned with copyright infringement since (You) Illegally downloading an NES game will bankrupt their favorite multibillion dollar company. In fact, there have been multiple cases where nintendofags tried to organize mass reporting and harassment campaigns against Nintendo console emulators, piracy sites, and individuals accused of committing such offences against daddy Nintendo.
Due to Soyjak's rejection of religion in favor of science, he has turned to worshipping multi-billion-dollar corporations like Nintendo and Disney as such, with this loyalty often stemming from: "THEY FORMED MY CHILDHOOD!" Ironically, this leads to many Soyjaks exhibiting the "cult-like" behavior they accuse the religious of, except out of loyalty towards children's toy brands rather than faith, and often to a much more severe degree.
Like pottery, Nintendo is quite circlejerked over on 4chan's /v/, in which such fans often skirmish with Sony fans (PlayStation consoomers) over who can worship Big Corporate Cock more effectively, often Soydueling with 'jaks targeting the opposing side's obsession, completely ignoring the fact that they're the same. (this is just like friggin cruelty squad dood!)
Also, the Virtual Boy, DS (and related line) and the Wii (as well as the Wii U) are the only good Nintendo consoles. Ignore what was just said, writer is schizophrenic.
The Tendie
Ways to Troll the Tendie
- Remind them that the N64 was a failed console
- Remind them that the GameCube was a failed console
- Call the GameCube the ShitCube
- Tell them that the Wii failed because everyone forgot about it after 2009
- Remind them that the Wii U failed
- Remind them that the PSP outsold the 3DS
- Call them a pedophile
- Call their games baby games
- Bring up the Steam Deck, this sends tendies into a fit of pure, utter rage for some reason
- Talk about how much you love Valve
- Say Palworld is better than Pokémon
- Say AstroBot is better than Mario Odyssey
- Say that Sonic Adventure 2 is better than Mario Sunshine
- Say that you did not like Breath of the Wild
- Say that Breath of the Wild looks like shit
- Call Tears of the Kingdom $70 DLC.
- Call Ocarina of Time shit.
- Say the best Zelda is either Skyward Sword or Twilight Princess.
- Say that Wind Waker looks like shit.
- Tell them that Nintendo, not GameFreak, is at fault for Pokémon being shit.
- Say that Metroid Prime 4 looks like shit
- Say Donkey Kong Bananza looks like shit
- Say pretty much any upcoming Switch 2 game looks like shit
- Say that the Switch 2 is weaker than a PS4
- Criticize Satoru Iwata
- Tell them that Nintendo's harsh treatment of fan projects started under his tenure[8]
- Call the Wii a gimmicky piece of shit
- Call the Wii U a gimmicky piece of shit
- Call the DS a gimmicky piece of shit
- Call the 3DS a gimmicky piece of shit
- Criticize Masahiro Sakurai
- Call them a pedophile if they play Smash Bros.
- Tell them that Smash Bros. isn't a fighting game
- Compare Smash Bros. to Mario Party
- Tell them that Sakurai himself does not view Smash as a competitive game
- Tell them Smash needs more JRPG characters
- Bring up Waluigi (this ALWAYS starts an argument)
- Call Kirby Air Riders shit
- Bring up that he hates modern Kirby
- Call Banjo-Kazooie shit (Croc won btw)
- Say that Nuts and Bolts is the best Banjo-Kazooie game (it is btw)
- Say that the PS2 is the best console of all time
- Say that PlayStation is better than Nintendo
- Say that Xbox is better than Nintendo
- Say Sega is better than Nintendo
- Say Vivian is a man
- Tell them that Nintendo was always a shitty company
Nintendo Games
There are a grand spanking total of SIX (6) good Nintendo games (Mario Kart Wii, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, MADWORLD, Resident Evil 4, and Wii Party). Most if not all of them are easy as shit because they are made for literal babies. If (you) as a grown ass man still play Nintendo games, you are either a soyboy, tranny, or pedophile. These games also typically feature BORDERLINE EPI like in Zelda where Link dresses like a "femboy" (faggot). Here is a list of Nintendo "games" that you should avoid at ALL COST:
- Pokémon
- Every Zelda game made after Twilight Princess
- Animal Crossing
- Fire Emblem
- Xenoblade
- Kirby (meds)
- Splatoon
- Star Fox
- Paper Mario
- Kid Icarus Uprising
- EarthBound/Mother
- Golden sun
Actual Nintendo Games
Here are some actually aryan Nintendo games that You are allowed to play
- Mario
- Donkey Kong
- The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (every other Zelda is for niggerpedos)
- Metroid (You play as an Aryan foid who regularly commits TND against various alien species)
- Pikmin (also because of a channel called imonlyhereforpikmin who is a confirmed 'teen)[9]
- F-Zero
- Game & Watch
- Meme Run (Wii U)
- Super Smash Bros
- Doshin the Giant
- Jelly Boy
- Claymates
- Bombuzal
- Balloon Fight
- Duck Hunt
- Pilotwings
- Excitebike
History of 'tendo
After this, 'tendo began to manufacture toys, trinkets, and other miscellany, ultimately creating a Pong clone named Color TV-Game, and Game & Watch handhelds. They even created multiple hit arcade games, such as Donkey Kong, Mario Bros, etc.
The NES was released on October 18, 1985, in the United States[10], and was 'tendo's best-selling console, and was such a gem that it saved the 'vidya. After this, 'tendo begun to produce videogames, and only videogames. The N64 would release, and it would be iron only worshipped by millennial goyslop consoomers.
Gamecube, the 'tendo's 4th console, sold the least number of units, but had an extremely huge array of licensed gems, despite the fact that the games produced in house were absolute brimstone. GBA had a similar situation but sold relatively well. Super Mario Sunshine was the Mario of this generation, and it sucked because you couldn't long jump in it o algo. Any positive shilling you see for the GameCube is likely due to the retarded drooling Zillennial babas growing up to defend it on the internet. (Melee is broken and it fucking sucks) Over the Hedge for the GameCube is the only good game ever released on the system.
The Wii is the only good console that 'tendo managed to develop, selling 101.63 million units worldwide. The Wii is truly a gemerald, despite having licensed coalslop just like the Gamecube ev&doe basically all consoles worth mentioning end up having licensedslop games. There is the 'Mii channel' which allows you to create cartoonish caricatures of your favorite dictators and literal whos, basically proto-'jakking. Another example of proto-'jakking is Flipnote studio,which is basically paint but for the Nintendo DSI, it has a lot of potential (SOMEONE MAKE A SOYJAK PARTY FLIPNOTE ARCHIVE NOWWWWW). Wii Sports was bundled with the Wii and was the best-selling video game for a good while. Super Mario Galaxy is the Mario game for this console and it's the gem that saved the Wii.
Brawl was the Smash game for this console and is the only good Smash game ever made, being the only one to have a keyed story mode called Subspace Emissary, but Sakurai is an autistic retard who sperged out when people uploaded the cutscenes to YouTube, so now we can't have any more Story Modes because of selfish little fucks on the 'tube. Ultimate sucks btw and only niggertrannies on Xitter like it.
The console also had other gems like The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Metroid Prime Trilogy, Donkey Kong Country Returns, etc. This era was immensely successful for 'tendo, so they tried to capitalize further on this, preparing the Wii U.
The Wii U would release on November 18, 2012, and it was a gemerald because it had Pikmin 3, George Floyd's Hyperborean Adventure (Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze), and Meme Run. It sold like shit only because normGROIDS couldn't appreciate how much of a gem it was.
In 2015, Satoru Iwata🗝️, the CEO of Nintendo, who came from a programmer background, died of cancer. He would be replaced by a kike named (((Tatsumi Kimishima))), and then (((Shuntaro Furukawa))) in 2018. Both of these people are kikes who are extremely anti-consumer and are Jews. Under them, Nintendo has only produced goyslop for soyboys.
With the release of the Switch on March 3, 2017, the overall quality declined extremely, and this led to the formation of the current situation with 'tendo.
Sometime in 2019 Nintendo would make trannies seethe by removing a smash bros stage with a Trans flag in it for being "too political "[11]
Tears of the Kingdom was the biggest game for the console and it was satanic niggerstone. It was basically Breath of the Wild but with the GMod tool gun slapped onto it, and it would cost 70 shekels. It also ruined the series by claiming that Hylians are descendants of alien furry goat people, ev&oe Hylians are supposed to Aryan. The only good thing to come out of this game was the tendie meltdown when it lost the 2023 Game Awards to Balding Gape Tree or whatever, another shitty game only liked by branigger zoophiles.
It is currently unknown if they will get any better someday.
In January 2025, Nintendo revealed the Switch 2, a next gen sequel to the Nintendo Switch. Nintendo, being the Jews that they are, decided to start charging $80 for games made for a handheld that is SOMEHOW less powerful than a Steam Deck with Mario Kart World, the first open world Mario Kart game, which is open world because Breath of the Wild sold six gorillion copies or whatever. Despite the fact that Forza already did this back on the Xbox 360 with Forza Horizon, hell, EA was doing this with Need For
Speed Underground 2 on the PS2, Nintendo thought that this was such an innovation that they felt the need to charge $80 for it. The console would go on to break records until sales slowed down because all the tendies bought it and nobody with an IQ above room temperature is buying a Switch 2.
Nintendo Switch and soyjakking
The Nintendo Switch is essential in soyjakking since the very first soyjaks, including the Original Soyjak, revolved around Soyboys exciting over the (new at the time) Nintendo Switch, thus making Nintendo sherdee kulchur 'n sheit mayne.
See also
Snopes
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/games/2018/05/11/nintendo-labo-variety-kit-review-cardboard-fun-for-the-whole-family/
- ↑ https://www.polygon.com/24090351/nintendo-2-4-million-yuzu-switch-emulator-settlement-lawsuitArchive
- ↑ https://www.ign.com/articles/nintendo-wins-lawsuit-rom-website-romuniverseArchive
- ↑ https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/30/23485811/nintendo-smash-world-tour-shut-down-event-tournamentArchive
- ↑ https://www.polygon.com/2020/12/7/22158534/nintendo-etikon-joy-con-controllers-shut-down-cease-and-desistArchive
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyrOQb3g3AsArchive
- ↑ https://www.polygon.com/2016/8/14/12472616/pokemon-uranium-taken-down-nintendoArchive
- ↑ https://www.escapistmagazine.com/nintendo-shuts-down-fan-made-zelda-movie/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxFcLdap9Jr43BKJSA4JaCUdFXvHlaYQIP
- ↑ https://www.wired.com/2010/10/1018nintendo-nes-launches/ Archive
- ↑ https://checkpointgaming.net/news/2019/04/nintendo-smash-bros-stage-trans-flag/
^all snca above me
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