SCP-59Ϫ5
Item#: SCP-59Ϫ5
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: As of Feburary 2022, SCP-59Ϫ5 is considered uncontainable. Management of SCP-59Ϫ5 is the only remaining option. Foundation agents are to infiltrate the janitoral staff of the message board 4Channel whereupon agents are to remove all instances of SCP-59Ϫ5 and issue a ban plea to the poster. The boards of highest priority for infiltration are /bant/ – International/Random, /g/ – Technology, and /a/ – Anime & Manga. If possible, bans are to be followed up in real life by MTF Rho-1 ("The Professors"), disgused as CIA agents, who are to track down the physical address of these posters and neutralize them under the guise of plotting a terrorist attack.
Addendum 19/11/2021: The deletion of /qa/ – Question & Answer, the former primary infection vector for SCP-59Ϫ5, has slightly impeded the spread of SCP-59Ϫ5, but it is not likely to last long. –Dr. Ryans
Description: SCP-59Ϫ5 is a cognitohazardous internet meme depicting a middle aged man with an open mouth symbolizing inauthentic excitement. Exposure to SCP-59Ϫ5 for a period longer than 10 minutes will result in the exposed individual becoming an instance of SCP-59Ϫ5-1. These instances will lose all forms of higher consciousness and will shortly begin spamming SCP-59Ϫ5 images, typically by quoting another poster as if to mock what the other poster is saying; however, SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances have also been known to quote any stimulus provided to them seemingly at random (See: Document #Ϫ-1). Aside from a set of specific words,[1] SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances cannot communicate in English or any other language. They will occasionally engage in an activity resembling a spectator sport which involves two or more SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances quoting each other with SCP-59Ϫ5 variants until only one remains. These events seem to create more variants of SCP-59Ϫ5 and are therefore to be avoided at all costs.
Snopes
- ↑ Examples include "cope", "seethe", and "dilate". Lingustic investigation is ongoing.
