Mr. Thrembimp
Thrembulius Impson Thrembimp | |
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| Years active | 2010-2021 |
| Best known for | Being the first and former owner of the Ϫ-Up corporation. |
| Notable work | The Great Throalling Managing to ruin the reputation of Ϫ-Up and its parent corporation’s reputation two times |
Mr. Thrembimp was the former owner of the Ϫ-Up corporation, and in its infancy, helped it compete against Sproke.
Policy[edit | edit source]
Mr. Thrembimp wanted to have a monopoly in the combined soda business, and was generally a very competitive guy. An example of his very competitive policies is when he and his corporation released a hazardous coal known as Sproke-tan in order to harm the Sproke Company’s reputation. This only negatively impacted the Sproke Company’s sales by 5%. Thrembimp cut corners if he had to, such as with the 2015 Great Throalling.
The Great Throalling[edit | edit source]
The Great Throalling was an event that took place in 2015 and ruined Thrembimp’s image in some circles of the public eye. It was caused by the shortage of Coca-Cola in Jakplaza, the busy entrepreneur part of the Ridge. A soyquote mocking Thrembimp about the situation is as follows:
>SHIT! The Coke is running out, what am I going to do?
>Ahh… I have an idea, a LE HECKIN’ UNWHOLESOME TWIDDLING MY MUSTACHE EBIL IDEA!!!
>How about… we place the coke with that Mexiaryan drug?
>That will get the Soyim addicted! They love Niggerweed, because it’s wholesome and empowering of black trans queens!
>But… how will they drink it without noticing the color change?
>I have a VERY wholesome idea!
>I will use Mexiaryan red bugs to color it red, then mix it with the 7-Up.
>HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO FUCKING DO THIS!!!
If you want to be professional, Thrembimp replaced the Coca-Cola with Cocaine imported from Mexico, and used Cochineal bugs so that way the Soyim wouldn’t bat an eye. This ended up backfiring on him because Troonella reported that the color of her Ϫ-Up looked too much like her axe wound, which deeply offended her. Troonella, offended, sued Thrembimp for six gorbillion dollars or whatever. More soyjaks such as Wholesomejak and our favorite movie watcher also came forward with similar stories. It was a disaster. Pinejak, the slut of the Ridge, stopped his collaboration with Ϫ-Up and the corporation no longer supported by appled.com.
