SNCA:American Football
American Football, also known as Amerimutt Niggerball, is a variant of gridiron football played in the United States. The game takes place on a field 100 yards wide with end zones on each end. Games are played by two teams and take place across four fifteen-minute quarters. It emerged in the late 19th century as a combination of soccer and rugby.
Gameplay[edit | edit source]
The offense has four attempts, known as "downs," to advance the ball ten yards from where the ball sits (the line of scrimmage) to a line known as the first down line. If they make it ten yards, the team gets another set of four downs. If not, the other team gets the ball. On fourth down, the offense can either punt the ball as far as they can so that the receiving team has to go a longer distance, attempt a field goal from fifteen yards behind the line of scrimmage, or try to get the ball past the first down line. The defense attempts to prevent the offense from advancing the ball.
Penalties can either add or subtract yards from the distance that the offense needs to go, depending on whether the offense or defense committed them. Penalties include pass interference, false start, offside, unnecessary roughness, holding, breathing near Patrick Mahomes, and unsportsmanlike conduct.
Scoring[edit | edit source]
Touchdown[edit | edit source]
A touchdown is when the ball is advanced into, caught, or recovered in the defense's end zone. It is worth six points.
After a touchdown, the team may score extra points, in a play known as a "conversion." They may either attempt to kick the ball between the goalposts for one extra point (a "point after touchdown"), or run the ball from the two yard line for two extra points (a "two point conversion").
Field Goal[edit | edit source]
A field goal is when the offense kicks the ball between the goalposts. Field goals can be attempted at any time, but they are usually done on fourth down. A field goal is worth three points.
Safety[edit | edit source]
A safety is when a player is tackled or commits a penalty in their own end zone. It is worth two points to the defense, except in the exceedingly rare case that it happens on a conversion attempt, in which it is worth one point.
Positions[edit | edit source]
Offense[edit | edit source]
Quarterback[edit | edit source]
The quarterback is usually the most famous player on the team. Xe receives the ball from the center to start a down and can either run it, throw a pass, or hand it to a running back.
Running Backs[edit | edit source]
A team will usually have one or two running backs on the field, referred to as a halfback and a fullback. Their job is to receive a handoff from a quarterback and run the ball as far as they can.
Wide Receivers[edit | edit source]
A team has two wide receivers, whose job is to catch passes thrown by the quarterback.
Offensive Line[edit | edit source]
The offensive line consists of a center, two tackles, and two guards. The center snaps the ball to the quarterback to begin a down. The rest of the line protects the quarterback and running backs from the defensive line.
Tight End[edit | edit source]
A tight end is a hybrid position that can fill the role of an offensive lineman or a wide receiver depending on the play.
Defense[edit | edit source]
Defensive Line[edit | edit source]
The defensive line consists of two tackles and two ends. They prevent the offensive line from advancing.
Linebackers[edit | edit source]
Linebackers sit behind the defensive line and can perform various duties such as rushing the quarterback or blocking receivers.
Defensive Backs[edit | edit source]
The defensive backs mainly defend against pass plays.
Special Teams[edit | edit source]
Kicker[edit | edit source]
The kicker attempts to kick the ball through the goalposts during field goal and point-after-touchdown attempts.
Punter[edit | edit source]
The punter punts the ball as far as possible down the field when the team chooses to punt on fourth down.
Holder[edit | edit source]

The holder holds the ball so the kicker can kick it.
Long Snapper[edit | edit source]
The long snapper snaps the ball to the holder.
Return Specialist[edit | edit source]
The return specialist catches a punt and attempts to run it as far as they can.
NFL[edit | edit source]
The National Football League is the main professional league in the United States. It consists of thirty-two teams divided into two conferences, which are each divided into four divisions, resulting in four teams per division. Every year, the league hosts a championship game known as the Super Bowl, which is consistently the most-watched broadcast of the year because nobody watches network TV anymore.
There have been allegations of officiating misconduct in favor of teams such as the New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs, though many of these are just from fans of opposing teams who are mad they lost.
Some teams are considered total jokes in the league and consistently cause leakage from their fans. These include the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, and New York Jets. You WILL make fun of fans of these teams whenever you can.