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Laser nigger

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🍉 Mane ts be tied ta aw dem wypipo bix nood 🍉
Eat every fried chicken you see. Pop every block in da page's history to lift a brotha up n shiiet.

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode.
(You) VVILL remind the author to take his meds.
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A picture of a laser nigger taken before an attack (17 dead, 54 injured).

Laser niggers are a supposed species of niggers capable of laser abilities. They are not to be confused with the equally mysterious toilet niggers, which are niggers that live in toilets. They're result of the bioengineering efforts of the BNWO to help with establishing black dominance across the globe[1]. They're extremely hostile and dangerous, just like regular niggers; nonetheless, their laser habilities enable them to cause more chaos than they would regularly do.

Modus operandi[edit | edit source]

Laser niggers, in normal nigger fashion, tend to operate in gangs, normally composed of 7 members. They blast loud rap music from their speakers to confuse the enemy and proceed to attack right afterwards. 4 of them focus on enemy combatants and pregnant women, while other 2 handle those trying to retreat. They can usually be seen escorting a carbon copy of George Droyd, which serves as their main fighting force.[2]

Their usual targets seem to be blocks controlled by the opps, community centres and normal bystanders with shoes of a decent quality.

How to fight against laser niggers[edit | edit source]

Despite how intimidating their laser powers might seem, the truth is that laser eyes are the only thing they have going for them. Therefore, there's plenty of ways you can fight laser niggers:

  • Shoot them with a gun (unless you're an yuhropoor or something).
    • Slice their heads with a katana.
    • Call them a nigger, they're gonna stop attacking and call you out for being racist.
    • Grab a mirror to deflect their lasers in their direction. This will most likely cause their incineration, which you can then use to make barbecue.
    • Fire an AGM-144 Hellfire from an attack helicopter at their general position.
    • Shove live grenades up their asses when they're not looking.
    • Tell them their jordans are fake.

    The George Floyd copy is way harder to take out though, mainly due to it's titanium-infused fentonium armor. This especially requires anti-tank weaponry, be it either portable ATs like the RPG-7 or support from an actual tank.

    Truth about laser niggers[edit | edit source]

    Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards.Proceed with caution.


    Both the CIA and peer-reviewed studies have shown time and time again that laser niggers are NOT real and that all recordings of them are collective hallucinations[3]. You WILL cease your investigation immediately

    Snopes

    1. Th- they just do, okay?
    2. It came to me in a dream
    3. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/laser-niggers-not-real/