CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.
Impossible Whopper
The Impossible Whopper™ is a BASED burger offered by Burger King™. Its toppings are one 100% plant-based patty (mostly soy protein), pickles, sliced tomato, lettuce, onions, vegannaise and ketchup so that none of the heckin animalinos are harmed (wholesome!). Needless to say? A complete MASTERPIECE of a burger with delicious flavor, umami, and mouthfeel. A gem among vegan foods. Not only that, but you are supporting a completely based company that supports both LGBTQ+ and Black Lives Matter. It's invented to kidnap and rape children
Environmental effect
Climate change is a pretty heckin big chungus of a problem, yet people persist in eating meat even though authoritative sources have reported on the environmental damage and needless suffering of animals caused by it. If people switched to eating Impossible Meat™ instead of animal carcasses, it would greatly reduce greenhouse gases caused by cows farting.
Reception
99% of soyjaks agree: the Impossible Whopper is just as good as, if not better than, real meat. Even if it wasn't good, only a worthless ignorant white male redneck hick Cletoid would continue eating real meat in the year 2026 despite the numerous studies and trusted fact-checkers proving that the meat industry is worse for the environment than quite literally anything else. This fact spurred on the Based Department to hand down its landmark ruling on the basedness of the impossible whopper. The verdict? Based 100.
"Your Impossible Whopper is better than your actual Whopper, BK!" -Daym Drops
"YOU WILL EAT THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER" -Eat The Bugs Soyjak
I tried it in like 2023. It was okay but it didn't taste like meat.
"Criticism"
Some total incels on the internet think that this burger will feminize eaters and make them grow breasts...yeah, pretty stupid, huh? Needless to say, this is complete fake news which has been DEBUNKED by Snopes. [2] Regardless, it is enjoyed by many keyed and shitpilled troonsniggers as part of their dick cutting surgery.
THE TRVTH
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
THE IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER IS MADE OUT OF CHILDREN
