How to identify a glowie

	Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards.
	Proceed with caution.

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds.

Hello 'teens, I am Nate Foster and today I'm gonna teach you how to identify glowies.

Glowie characteristics

• Obsession with saying they are criminal
• Greeting a lot
• Obsession with anime and military
• Gay Reddit/Facebook/Discord caption memes
• Loves femboys
• Shills off-site communities, particularly edgy larpercore discord groups and sextortion rings, or shills prominent altright e-celebs like Nick Fuentes.
• Tries to hide his gender, usually answering with an object like croissant
• General Reddit humor
• Self insert, namefagging, avatarfagging, and other types of xitter immigrant behaviour
• Active on 1 or 2 platforms instead of dedicating his whole life to soyjak.party like a good goy
• Not soyquoting enough
• Obsession with war thunder
• Irony poisoned
• Encourages users to kill minorities or posts footage of minorities being killed to radicalize said user base
• has obsession with /pol/ yet is somehow a ‘rybaby fencesitter with no real opinions
• spams “Marge” in every thread like an unfunny troon comedian
• thinks that Coalposters are the funniest troons ever
• Reads unfunny Soyteen Twitter webcomics as a pastime
• Writes a whole page on how to identify federal agents on the soy boy woah jack forum

Different glowie facts

• 72,000 people died from -ACK in the first 5 seconds of reading this page so far.

• 32 Glowies allegedly have been caught so far

• Glowies allegedly may have directly caused the very first coal to be invented

• Kamala Harris’s secret campaign was about removing gems from the internet

• Almost every brimstone poster is, or has ties to the CIA

• The entirety of bluesky (unfunny coal xitter knockoff) is ran by glowies

• You have probably read this page 15 times already, but the glowies keep erasing your mind while reading it

What happens next?

By the time you’ve correctly identified the glowing fed, it’s too late. They’ve already erased your mind and brainwashed the globe into automatically disagreeing with whatever proof you could present. Many people, probably even you have seen or encountered a glowie.

To be completely safe you must ingest large tinfoil slates, consume 40% less soy, attach double A batteries to your ears via grafting laser, and then attach a multitude of expensive ping-pong balls to yourself. This will prevent any Glowie from hijacking, brainwashing, and even manipulating your brain in any way. You must tell your friends and family as they are not safe.

Despite many technological advantages that glowies possess they never have been able to penetrate through those simple defensive techniques. Many Glowies spy on GEM posters in hopes of finding weaknesses. (there are none since they are epic GEMMY posters)

Where to commonly find Glowies?

Glowie agent ready to wipe your mind and replace it with 100% Facui approved facts and logic

Glowies are easily found in places like ‘Eddit and xisxord. They usually prey around large subreddits hoping to brainwash even more idnividuals. If you see one of these individuals start saying the phrase “Found you Glowie” until they either confess to being one, or run away to their CIA directors.

Antigem genes

All Glowies contain Antigem genes that inhibit their ability to post GEMS. They quite literally are unable to post even a single shred of anything short of coal. If you are truly having doubts, check their post history for any gems. If they somehow have zero gems, it’s most definitely a Glowie you’re talking to. Immediately stop replying to the Glowie and leave the thread for safe measure. Some Glowies are born with these Antigem genes, and they are contagious. That’s why you should never try to capture a glowie, no matter how tempting, ‘est you become a Glowie yourself.

The Antigem genes give them a strange obsession with coalposting. Glowies are so good at it now, that sometimes you need a real GEM to break through their coalposting. Their coalposting is easily identified by their fence-sitting political based ‘jak. Although multiple Glowies may start fighting over worthless and useless countries (bonus points if it disbanded in WW2 or the Cold War) to prove how much of a Glowie they are.

Using your Glowie spotting skills

Well since you’re such an awesome soyteen blackpilled GLOWIE spotter you want to find more of them. Unfortunately they’re everywhere. Most people you know and talk to are probably glowies in disguise. We also are not sure where the glowies originated from, although their numbers have rapidly increased in recent days. Remember Nate Foster? You probably don’t you amnesiac because a glowie mind wiped you while reading this. Many Glowies specifically accumulate on the ‘arty and the ‘roo however. Many attempts were made to count how many Glowies were in each board but all of them got mind wiped and turned into Glowies themselves.

Colourjaks

The glowie extent of Colourjaks is not fully known

Colourjaks were entirely made as a secret spy-op by glowie agents to destroy every thread they came across. Posing as “the ‘jak to save the thread” they seemingly revived ‘jakposting without everyone realizing that almost every colourjak is brimstone. By the time the general mass realizes that brimstone was overrunning every thread in existence, colourjaks had spread to the ‘ube and der ‘cord. It was only by sheer tinfoil consumption that colourjaks were turned into a dead variant, hardly seen again. Many other secret varieties were made, like autismjaks, or geometric ‘jaks but both proved unsuccessful. Colourjak on the ‘ube is still rampant, with videos getting between hundreds of thousands of views to even over millions. They may even pose as “educational” or “child freindly” to better brainwash and mind wipe the younger generation. YouTube admins will never do anything about this though, as most ‘tube admins are brimstone obsessed trannies who have no morals to begin with.

STOP!!!!!!!!!

All of the above is propaganda and should be ignored. Instead of doing whatever lies they said, you should instead drink more fluoride, Consume 60% more soy and subscribe to the CIA weekly newsletter.

• These are the real ways to find glowies, the hekkin wholesome way:
• Posts Gems instead of coal
• Doesn’t play War thunder or DCS
• Refuses to like Boykissers like a good little troonstar
• Thinks saying Marge isn’t funny
• Won’t post hilarious funny cropped memes from xe xitter and Facebook
• Won’t read funny Xitter web comics
• Does’t say unfunny slop under every post like a good little xe-warrior troon
• Only goes on the ‘arty like a naughty little soyteen

Only you can report these people to the FBI, who is in no way, related to the CIA in anyway. Make sure you take your meds if you see one or they’ll take away your precious soy-based “drink”.

Why /pol/ is very based

• Arguing over random countries is lè based obviously. Every good troonstar knows that to be cool you need to either argue over Turkey, Syria, Russia, Ukraine, Mexico, or India. Responding to every political thread with brap or brapskin shows how based you are and not at all like a giant glowing incel

• you MUST argue that Turkish people are either pure Aryans or pure brapskins whenever a post about Turkey is shown.