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SNCA:Proto-Indo-European
Proto-Indo-European, also known as Ancient Aryan, Yamnaya or just simply Yakubian, was the language spoken by Yakub's followers in the island of Patmos before they got moved to the Pontic-Caspian steppe, then spreading in all corners of Eurasia to spread the aryan race. It is said that it was spoken around 6000-4000 BC, first just on Patmos, then in modern day Ukraine, then it got scattered into various different language families. This shit of a language is characterized by painfully annoying sounds, a voice that will make you sound like a 100 year old tortoise in the desert and also too many asterisks and numbers after the h sound to indicate how many muscles you need to move to make a more grotesque sound.
History[edit | edit source]
Yakub created the proto-indo-european language in a single evening while he was bored at school after doing homework, so he used his megaintelligence tricknology to casually create an entire language from scratch in a couple hours. Since he needed something to distinguish the white Yamnaya race he was creating, he decided to, why not, make it the official language in Patmos, and thus his carefully selectioned lab experiments ended up developing due to artifical selection the ability to make all those atrocious h3, h4 and h3454 sounds. In proto-indo-european, Yakub came to be known as Dyeus Phter, thus becoming the main deity of their pantheon, and with his help and Aryan beast bombs they conquered most of Eurasia.
Unfortunately, PIE was simply unfathomable for the human mind, so people always talked into a dumbed down version when there is no need to yell "ASTERISK" any time you start a sentence, and where instead of 502 H sounds you get 340 H sounds. Also, a mystery how this mfs domesticated horses without making them scared and run away due to not just how shiny their skin is, but how atrocious this language sounds.
How to speak proto-indo-european[edit | edit source]
- Add a * symbol at the beginning of every word (in linguistics, the asterisk means that the word was never written down);
- Make a ton of grotesque h related sounds;
- Pronounce the least vocals possible;
- Just say random gibberish while coughing and talking as if you have got the voice of a 70 year old man.
- Remember to finish every word with -os, -oyoyh2òs, or -h1h3ugòmòmgos
Doxxing your mom in PIE[edit | edit source]
h₂áu̯ei̯ h₁i̯osméi̯ h₂u̯l̥h₁náh₂ né h₁ést, só h₁éḱu̯oms derḱt. só gʷr̥hₓúm u̯óǵʰom u̯eǵʰed; só méǵh₂m̥ bʰórom; só dʰǵʰémonm̥ h₂ṓḱu bʰered. h₂óu̯is h₁ékʷoi̯bʰi̯os u̯eu̯ked: ’dʰǵʰémonm̥ spéḱi̯oh₂ h₁éḱu̯oms-kʷe h₂áǵeti, ḱḗr moi̯ agʰnutor’. h₁éḱu̯ōs tu u̯eu̯kond: ‘ḱludʰí, h₂ou̯ei̯! tód spéḱi̯omes, n̥sméi̯ agʰnutór ḱḗr: dʰǵʰémō, pótis, sē h₂áu̯i̯es h₂u̯l̥h₁náh₂ gʷʰérmom u̯éstrom u̯ept, h₂áu̯ibʰi̯os tu h₂u̯l̥h₁náh₂ né h₁esti’. tód ḱeḱluu̯ṓs h₂óu̯is h₂aǵróm bʰuged. *h₂énǵʰonm̥ napl̥h₂més h₂áyeri káh₂mi, h₁iwr̥ séǵʰos h₂enǵʰah₂yéti. *dʰǵʰémones solh₂wós h₁léwdʰeroes ǵén̥h₁ntor.[1]
- ↑ Here is the IPA if you can read it: [ˈχawej xjosˈmej χwl̩xˈnaχ ˈne ˈxest ˈso ˈxekwoms tʼerkt ˈso ɡʷr̩ˈxum ˈwoɡom ˈweɡetʼ ˈso ˈmeɡχm̩ ˈborom ˈso ˈdɡemonm̩ ˈχoːku beretʼ ˈχowis ˈxekʷojbjos wewqetʼ ˈdɡemonm̩ ˈspekjoχ ˈxekwomskʷe ˈχakʼeti ˈkeːr moj aɢnutor ˈxekwoːs tu wewqontʼ kluˈdi χowej ˈtotʼ ˈspekjomes n̩sˈmej aɢnuˈtor ˈkeːr ˈdɡemoː ˈpotis seː ˈχawjes χwl̩xˈnaχ ˈɡʷermom ˈwestrom wept ˈχawibjos tu χwl̩xˈnaχ ˈne xesti totʼ kekluˈwoːs ˈχowis χakʼˈrom buqʼetʼ] [ˈχenɡonm̩ napl̩χˈmes ˈχajeri ˈkaχmi xiwr̩ ˈseɡos χenɡaχˈjeti] [ˈdɡemones solɐˈwos ˈxlewderoes ˈkʼen̩ətor]
