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Die Sohjabonen

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Lose an entire heckin world war?
This nigga went to Argentina
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Oy vey! Die Sohjabonen is treif!

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Unidentified Schutzstaffel officer consuming what is believed to be Sohjabonen  : IAS

Die Sohjabonen (also called Nazi beans) was a German scientific attempt at producing a new strain of Wunderwaffen soy beans during World War II under the orders of veganism-enthusiast and supreme leader of the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler.[1] The project was placed under the supervision of Reichsmarschall Herman-Göring and most information on the results of the project were destroyed during the war. However, a few documents were recovered, a summary of which is below.

Test Results[edit | edit source]

Test subjects were reported by the overseeing officers, by the end of the trials, to have a 'profound interest in cheaply and mass-produced penny dreadfuls', had 'amassed an incredibly large baseball card collection,' and had 'developed a sexual attraction to watching their wife participating in intercourse with a supposedly superior Slavic specimen.''

Post-War[edit | edit source]

Some sources[2] claim that scientists behind the project were eventually secretly sent to America during Operation Paperclip, however the CIA has refused to declassify any documents on Sohjabonen research. This program and the subsequent moving of these soyboy prototypes offers an interesting theory, that it wasn't da Joos that put soy in amerimutt food, rather the ebil chudcel Nazis.

Snopes