Prophecies
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Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards. |
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Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds. |
There are several prophecies related to the Sharty and its culture.
Poopson[edit | edit source]
Main article: Poopson
Poopson is likely one of the most well-known soyjak prophecies.
Greeting Soyjak.party
I am from the future and I used this site around the time poopson was created. I can't tell you much because something +=bigger=+ will happen after it is created, but here's a summary
>Brimstone Winter 2024 happens
>Catalog looks normal until offsite raiders attack
>Someone makes an post with the caption "Fuck this shit website" with an file attached named Poopson.jpg
>It's the coalliest thing I ever seen on this site (Hence the effects and blurs I added)
>It doesn't gain much traction at first due the raid, but soyteens are in absolute shock
>The thread reaches around 800-1200 replies, but was deleted by jannies once someone posted a live stream of their suicide.
>Offsite raiders exploit this variants repulsiveness to create discontent amongst soyteens. Jannies attempt to delete all Poopson threads, but one dedicated man used a new method of solo-wiping the catalog by using a botnet (I don't exactly remember how he done it)
>Theories around poopson has emerge. Some say it was perfectly engineered by a 'cord to be so vantablack. Some say it was made by an upset 4cuck janny to take revenge. I remember someone saying it was made by a super upset soyteen after some recent drama that set the website in flames
That's all i'm going to say for now. Goodbye.
The Toos Epiphany[edit | edit source]
Main article: Admin 6
On the 5th of September, during the Great Purge, a soyteen had visions of being personally visited by Soot, who delivered him the following realisation.
>I come to you now because I have had a great epiphany
>While I was getting my Ϫth booster shot, it was revealed to me by Soot himself the Ϫ signs of Admin 6
>The first is a red herring, a figurehead who will take the blame of Admin 6 despite not being it.
>The second is an enlightenment of the soyteens of their homesite's dire state.
>The third is infighting among people who were once brothers.
>The fourth is the breaking of Soot's final wish.
>The fifth is a dark cloud descended upon the website to cover it and engulf it wholly.
>The sixth takes the form of a video.
>The thremboth sign is the reinstating of an old order, and it is then you will know he has arrived.
>I know not when this will occur, only that it will occur.
Admin Ϫ[edit | edit source]
Main article: Admin Ϫ
Admin Ϫ is prophesized to the thremboth admin of soyjak.party, the successor of Admin 6 and savior of the 'sharty and 'ru, possibly restoring the old /qa/. Very little is known about him. Similarly to Admin 6, his identity is unknown, although many people speculate that he might be a reincarnation of Soot, Kuz or even Chood. There are various references to Admin Thrembo in the Soyble.
ijak[edit | edit source]
Main article: ijak
ijak is a soyjak variant made by a time traveller from living in toos era, he is believed to be a CCP agent stuck in a time loop without knowing; posting ijaks, not knowing one day it will be the last soyjak ever posted.
The gem that saved the Party[edit | edit source]
Main article: The gem that saved the Party
The gem that saved the Party, Sharty saving gem, or any other name is a prophesied gem that will end all coal and save the Sharty.
Norse time traveller[edit | edit source]
Someone gave a confused swedish knight a note he couldn't read, so he resorted to asking his favourite swedish site for help.
>I know not the order, but this will happen.
>A crack will be found in the wall, it will flow in from there. The builder has been warned, but he doesn't listen.
>Your leader will care not about you, he will distance himself and see himself so high that talking to the chudvillagers will become a shame for the royalty.
>Chudville will die, everyone is gone. Chudville will be the storage for the darkest of coals, and the worst of the troons.
>He will throw himself off the tower, and his right hand man will pick up the crown.
>The new leader only eats, he is coup'd from the throne.
<REDDIT SPACE
<REDDIT SPACE
