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POSTAL

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This burger is an American win.

Postal 2 - Osama Signs My Petition
>killing Gary Coleman for a book
POSTAL 1 and 2 are both gemmy.
>Would you please sign my petition?

POSTAL 1 is an A24, spine-tingling, slow-burn, chuddy isometric top-down shooter game made by Running With Scissors about a schizophrenic psychopath shooting "hostiles" and civilians up. The game was fiercely debated about by a bunch of old people in the government and pissed off moms because >le video game violence. It's one of Chud's favorite video games to play in his freetime.

It's also free on Steam[1] and was open sourced[2], so no need to pirate it, you selfish little fuck.

POSTAL 2[edit | edit source]

POSTAL 2 is an open-world first person shooter about doing random SNCA for your girlfriend (appropriately named Bitch) but it's also an A24 slow-burn masterpiece because you can piss on people and light them on fire. This game is also completely illegal to own in Jew Zealand for whatever reason.

It's like 9 dollars on Steam, but if you're a selfish 3rd world shitskin or a kiwi you can pirate it using FMHY.

POSTAL (Java)[edit | edit source]

POSTAL (Java) is a 2010 mobile game that is pretty good for its platform and time. The game plays more like Postal 1 with a fully top down POV and a lack of any pacifist options. It features a nice artstyle and the game has a survival mode wherein you endlessly fight off hordes of police.

POSTAL 3[edit | edit source]

POSTAL 3 is a moderately overhated, rushed game, that was so hated by RWS fanboys it got the creator of it (Akkela) shut down. The game has graphics that are rather impressive for the time and very impressive physics for it being made in the Source engine. The game has a high density of bugs and other glitches but they realistically could have been fixed in around 7 months.

Delusional RWS Fanboy Perspective[edit | edit source]

This section is ultra biased

This section was made by delusional RWS fanboys
This information below has been debunked by snopes

POSTAL 3 is a bastard child abomination brimstone SNCA pile of stone cold dogshit that has no value and should not even be touched. The publishers (Running With Scissors) disowned it as not theirs and rightfully so, as they didn't even develop the game. There is no reason you would ever need or want to play this other than for diagnostic purposes. The publishers have explicitly stated they will never patch or remake this game[3]. (You) will not seek out to play this game lest ye wish to be cast to Niggerhell.

POSTAL 4[edit | edit source]

POSTAL 4 Is a sequel to POSTAL 3 coded in Unreal Engine 4 that is somehow worse in everyway[4], The game plays like a slideshow that was made in 2 months, and when the game starts you see a bland PowerPoint presentation that masquerades as a cutscene, The game is rated Mostly Negative on steam from the recent reviews and has a 2.0 on IGN

Things bad about POSTAL 4:

  • The game has a very basic gore system, even though its a shooter
  • The NPCs have profound mental retardation [5]
  • The game is very poorly opimized even to this day[6]
  • When the NPCs speak their jaw moves but not their tongue, so it looks weird and fake when they talk
  • The game has reddit humor and is inoffensive unlike postal 2[7]
  • The game is very easy even on the hardest difficulty[8]

POSTAL: Bullet Paradise[edit | edit source]

clanka

POSTAL: Bullet Paradise is a cancelled retroslop game made by Goonswarm Games. The game was cancelled 2 days after it was announced because people realized it was a cash grab and all of the assets were AI generated. When RWS's employee Mike Jaret was confronted with the evidence that the game used AI assets his clitty leaked hard and he called his fans "ignorant assholes" and later said his fans could "eat his shit"[9].

Other SNCA[edit | edit source]

Citations

  1. ↑ https://store.steampowered.com/app/232770/POSTAL/
  2. ↑ https://github.com/RetailGameSourceCode/Postal1
  3. ↑ https://runningwithscissors.com/about/faq/ "Let us stop you right there and explain everything there needs to be said about that game. First of all, the game is shit. It wasn’t developed by us and it’s the result of a company taking our pride and joy just to turn it into trash. This video further explains what went wrong. If you really want to play the game, you can buy it on Steam but we won’t get any money for it. If you want to get the game and support us, we still have it included in our Postal 20th Anniversary Edition. Contrary to what some say, we are NOT handing out keys for POSTAL 3 right now, please refrain from asking. In closing, this was a chapter of POSTAL history that we keep joking about but wished it never happened. We will never remake the game or try to fix it."
  4. ↑ https://steamcommunity.com/id/00720652/recommended/707030/ "I really wanted to like Postal 4, I really did, but the game honestly deserves 2/10" https://steamcommunity.com/id/mistercopper/recommended/707030/ "As someone who's a fan of POSTAL 2, this game is a massive disappointment" https://steamcommunity.com/app/707030/negativereviews/?browsefilter=toprated&snr=1_5_100010_#scrollTop=2251.333251953125 "Janky (not in the good way) and the humor is played safe. Just play Postal 2, this isn't it." https://steamcommunity.com/id/gimmehecc/recommended/707030/ "It's Postal 2, but less functional, and they forgot the funny."https://steamcommunity.com/id/TheDragonOfDojlma/recommended/707030/ "Game still belongs in early access"https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198192847094/recommended/707030/ "I really wanted to like this game as I love the Postal series, however this game is just straight up terrible" https://steamcommunity.com/id/jackie293824/recommended/707030/ "This isn't even an ironically good game, it's just bad"https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197976222615/recommended/707030/ "if the goal was to make something even worse than postal 3 which was disappointing as hell, then they outdid themselves"
  5. ↑ https://steamcommunity.com/id/TOCTEP/recommended/707030/ "NPCs are somehow even worse to interact with than in Postal 2"
  6. ↑ https://steamcommunity.com/id/edge_crusher/recommended/707030/ "it runs terribly on my RTX 4080 super and AMD 9800x3D" https://steamcommunity.com/id/tedbex13/recommended/707030/ "This game runs like my Grandma, She's dead" https://steamcommunity.com/id/MikeLondn/recommended/707030/ "been out for 2 years and still runs like trash"
  7. ↑ https://steamcommunity.com/id/Toastman998/recommended/707030/ "Game is mostly unfunny Reddit humor. It's like RWS are afraid to offend anyone"https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198020220258/recommended/707030/ "and the humor is played safe"https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199082988493/recommended/707030/ "the humor is like the game was written by redditors"
  8. ↑ https://steamcommunity.com/id/Blashscotty/recommended/707030/ "Even on the hardest difficulty, the game is very easy if you get a few items"
  9. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7BBuYlYxVc Timestamp 5:37 'chive: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Z7BBuYlYxVc
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