Jesus Christ

Why yes, Jesus Christ is the ultimate Gigachad.How could you tell?

Jesus Christ is God, btw, if that matters; see John 10:30 and John 8:58.

Hail, King of the (((Jews)))

Jesus Christ, the man Himself. Praise Him.

Jesus Christ (born c. December 25, 6-4 BC) is King of the Jews, the central figure of Christianity, and the most influential half-blood^{[Actualmente the Council of Chalcedon in 451 established Jesus is fully God and fully Man][Kek your religion was standardized by Roman councils and anyone who doesn’t follow these councils with all their heart is a heckin heretic?]} in history. He loves (You) and died for your sins. Admin Ϫ is a prophet sent by Christ to save the Sharty from all coal, according to recent Soyblical studies.

Early Life

A real picture of Jesus.

Jesus was born in Bethlehem, in the Roman province of Judea, to Mary. Jesus grew up in Galilee and descended from King David of the Kingdom of Israel, and NOT the Kingdom of Judah, which therefore makes Him NOT Jewish ← debunked, David and Jesus descend from Judah.^{[Clarification: Jesus was a Jew in the sense that He followed the law of Moses, not what Rabbinic Judaism is, which descended from the Pharisees.]} His birth is celebrated on Christmas. He began to teach and accumulate a following before eventually being condemned to death as a result of Jewish subversion.^{[PANTS ON FIRE, He was executed in AD 30–33 under Pontius Pilate for sedition (proclaiming a kingdom that threatened Roman rule)]} He was crucified and rose again three days later, BTFOing Satan. Then, He ascended into Heaven.

His disciples would go on to continue spreading the gospel. This Great Comission is mainly referenced at the end of the gospel according to Matthew, and the result is documented in the book of Acts.

Other Interpretations

There are varying interpretations of the significance of Jesus in other worldviews. Muslims view Jesus/Isa (AS) as the greatest Prophet second only to Muhammad and that Jesus is also Christ/Messiah.^[Marge...] Atheists do not believe Jesus existed,^{[citation needed]} or, if they do, they think He was either a good teacher or a madman. Within Christianity, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that He is Saint Michael the Archangel, and Mormons believe in some schizophrenic polytheist shit-nobody-cares-about lore. Pagans (i.e., all religions that are not Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or otherwise derivative of the aforementioned) likely didn't care about Him at all since they were part of an entirely different religious framework.

There are also many other worldviews on who Jesus was. Some Buddhists^[who?] consider Him an "ascended spiritual master", and Japan has a wild story about how He fled and died there at the age of 106. There was also a dude in China who claimed to be the younger brother of Jesus after having a mental breakdown during civil service exams, and waged a rebellion against the Qing dynasty, resulting in millions of dead Chinx. There's even a small Muslim sect who believes He survived crucifixion and traveled to Kashmir.

To Christians, the problem with these interpretations is that they reduce Jesus' divinity from being God,or avoid his work on the cross. There are also several Christian heresies that do the same thing. Jesus was a pretty cool guy. It is also said He is coming back after the rapture starts in the year of our Lord ϪϪϪϪ.

Jews believe there are multiple Messiahs anointed by God; for example, David, a king of ancient Israel, and Cyrus the Great, an Achaemenid Emperor and goy who rebuilt the Jerusalem Temple. This conflicts with Jesus's teaching that He is the one true Messiah and that no other Messiahs exist. Because of this, Jews consider Jesus a false Messiah. /pol/clitties claim that Jews believe he's boiling in excrement in hell. This comes from a heavily censored Talmud passage (Babylonian Talmud, Gittin 57a) describing a figure called Yeshu, a very common ancient name, being mocked by sages and thus punished in Gehenna with boiling excrement; mainstream Judaism treats this as unrelated folklore about a different person.

Jesus vs. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

Jesus despised rabbis, and, on one occasion, even kicked them out of the Second Temple and called them the Synagogue of satan, because they had turned "the house of prayer [...] [into] a den of thieves" by letting merchants and money lenders inside. For this, and for His general idea that the Jews are not God's chosen people, they will not enslave all the goyim when their God returns, and that they are not the only ones who are eligible to go to heaven, the Jews wanted Him dead and chose a bandit over Him when Pontius Pilate offered to pardon any prisoner they wanted at the Pesach feast. In fact, they hate Him to this day, and currently all Jewish businessmen, politicians and Hollywood producers are actively trying to destroy Christianity, or at least subvert it and turn every church they can into a devil-worshipping pseudochristian sect (which they unfortunately successfully accomplished with most Protestant churches, and got pretty far with the Catholic church, which nowadays doesn't consider does still consider gooning a sin and blesses same-sex marriages couples.

Recent History

(You) WILL fill this section with relevant information NOW.

Another image of Jesus Christ, this time making Satan have the biggest leakage in soystory so far.

Jesus is known to be behind the following events: kikes being kicked out of 109 countries;^{[SNOPES: this figure is exacerbated by repeatedly counting short-lived medieval principalities, duchies, or city-states as separate countries. It's likely closer to roughly a dozen expulsions.]} Hitler's suicide; the creation of the party; (((Henry Kissinger)))'s death; Sini Meskus's dox; Kai Cenat disproving Layla Red Cakes's slander, the success of Operation No Nut November, the salvation of the Sharty, SatanCon being cancelled in both 2024 and 2025, etc.

TRVTHNVKES About Jesus

What Jesus actually looked like.

This section is reserved for controversial truths, not general facts. Don't be a faggot.

• He is one of the only good Jews.
• Jesus did not look brown or Middle Eastern; at most He had the complexion of a Mediterranean. Any claim that He was brown is purely the work of academic ideologues trying to push a narrative.
• All people are worthy of His salvation: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28)
• He came and died for you, knowing that you will continue to fall into sin, even while knowing Him.
• He loves you, even when you hate yourself.
• He died for you while you were still a mess.
• He didn’t come for the “good people,” but for sinners.
• He forgave enemies while being tortured to death.
• He chose sacrifice when He could’ve used his power.
• He touched the untouchable and defended the despised.
• He exposed religious hypocrites harder than anyone else.
• He never promised comfort, He promised truth.
• He conquered death instead of running from it.
• He will come back to judge the living and the dead.
• He knows every sin you hide and still calls you by name.
• He didn’t lower the standard, He fulfilled it.
• He offers grace you can’t earn and mercy you don’t deserve.
• He is the one who established the Catholic Church He established the Catholic Church through St. Peter.
• He asks for your heart, not your performance.
• He is the truth, not a motivational quote.
• He doesn’t need you, yet He still wants you and always will.
• He is the epitome of masculinity.
• Christianity is the one true religion because it's the only one that goes against the desires of the flesh.
• The only ones who go to Hell are those that willingly reject Him and rebel against Him.
• He is far above all rule and authority, power and dominion.
• Christ is now in Heaven, where He sits at the right side of God. All angels, authorities, and powers are under his control.

Jesus vs. Poopson

Recent soyentific discoveries suggest that Jesus has successfully BTFOd Poopson out of existence, saving us all from impending doom and breaking the prophecy. It is theorized that, without His divine intervention, the party would've been shut down forever following Doll's, Froot's, Quote's, Cobblestone's and Root's suicides via HRT overdose, hanging, drowning, her body being torn off, and three gunshots to the back of the head respectively.