Christianity
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The subject of this article is for humorous purposes only. This does NOT seek to inform the Soyim. |


Christianity is a religion created by some incel named Paul of Tarsus, who used to execute innocent Muslim followers of Jesus Christ before receiving a "vision" the Roman Empire in an attempt to control the Jews. Constantine believed the fake religion and started the eventual leakage of Christians amongst eachother for some reason, resulting in a heavy sectarian split. Christians love Israel, lying and hate math.
There are some really weird kinds of Christians you can use for trolling, by sending missionaries. This includes Mormons an Jehovahs Witnesses.
History
After failing to take back the holy land like 27 times,[1] Christian countries started sucking Jewish cock SO HARD that when they finally took back the holy land in WW1 they immediately handed it over to jews.
Christian history can be solely summarized to be the act of sucking BCC (Big Circumcised Cock).
The Holy Trinity
Xhey essentially believe that god is a 3 headed dog[2] , calling this the trinity. The trinity is the most core tenet of christianity and is simultaneously the most retarded, it is by far what distinguishes them between muslims and jews. It states that God is a composite of 3 parts, the son, the father and the holy spirit, which literally makes no logical sense:
- Christinaity teaches there is one God
- The father is God, the son is God and the holy spirit is God
- All 3 of these are distinct so the father is not the son the son is not the father etc...
- If each person is distinct then that implies 3 Gods (tritheism) creating a logical contradiction
The concept of a trinity has been increasingly hard to defend, this was demonstrated when William Lane Craig (whos an aryan btw if that matters) was struggling to win an argument against muslim scholar Muhammad Hijab, this was evident by him resorting to compare God to king Cerberus (which is a mythical dog with 3 heads geg)
Christianity and its interactions with other belief systems
While christianity does tend to have certain parts that are comprehensive about the commandments and historical events around jesus' time and happenings centered around jews, christkikes are known historically to their submissiveness to jews and their avid unquestioned loyalty to israel despite the fact the bible does say that jews are evil little penny sniffers. Showing that despite the setbacks Cuckstianity still falls pray to jewish mindcontrol. Besides the interaction of Judaism with Christianity. Most modern white supremacists on all websites are mainly christian, failing to realize that their religion does not come from a white background at all and in fact 90% of people that are in heaven are literally niggers. People might usually attempt to circumvent this by saying niggers are not human, but then they would have to also claim that semites aren't human (despite them being caucasian) which was jesus' true race.
What do christcucks believe in general?
- That Jesus is the literal son of God (but also god himself somehow)
- That Jesus died for our sins
- That even though you are a sinner, you can be saved
- That God is Three distinct persons ev&tho that doesn't make sense or something
- That long hair is for fags[3] but they keep drawing Jesus with it
- That killing babies is a virtuous god-obeying act (which okay because its the old testament you stupid chud)
(((^ This last point has a really big nose)))
be christian
>be christcuck
>dreaming about the man god spirit begotten son three person essence something and the holy land israel all night
>wake up
>beat wife (she doesnt have to wear hijab doe :))
>go greet 7 year old daughter
>WHAT
>THE
>LE
>FUCK
>7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SAID "o*h m*y g*d" (USING THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN)
>Beat up daughter until her nose is shattered
>send her to school
>start thinking about muh black preaching choir. So beautiful
>JEEEZUS CHRAST OUR LAWD LAAAAAAAAAAWD JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEL LAWD KANG
>get dressed
>check son's room
>WHAT
>THE
>FUCK
>HES PUTTING ON A FUCKING TEMPORARY TATTOO?!?!
>cut off son's skin with the tattoo
>Scream "CHRIST IS KING" 10 times
>good deed counter goes up by one (1)
>but accidentally a bit of blood from son's skin goes on my mouth
>good deed counter goes down by one (1)
>fuck
>Damn brat son already ran off to be molested by the gay priest
>oh well, will beat him up later
>go to church
>speak in tongues
>skijdflawejfikdf rgnmbmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkgfjfkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll fgk2ogf4felgslekslsdlkfaweofapfw3920 oefj23i fdofwej
>get bored
>arrive at the idf military base
>bomb 10 heathens (7 women and 3 children)
>hallelujah
>israel's vinedressers.png
>get paid 10 shekels for my heroic deeds
>not enough money to buy flowers for my graven images- i mean icons
>idea.png
>go preach at speakers corner about how god is his own son
>Mudslim subhuman starts debating me
>heh, I got this.png
>tell him that god killed himsel- his son- actually himself to le SAVE you from.. uhh.. himself
>try to checkmate that muzzie by saying the trinity is a mystery
>mudslime subhuman tells me that the gospels are unverifiable nonsense and no logic-stretching will fix that
>This puzzles me because the gospels are objectively 1:1 accurate eyewitness accounts
>before I panic, I bring up aisha
>mudslime reminds me that i justify murdering infants
>die from heart attack (the fried bacon was worth it geeg too bad for mudsissies)
>Appear before the God of israel (JESUS IS WHITE THOUGH)
>Imagine seeing Paul French-kissing little boys (priestly tradition)
>God I wish this were me
>ask God to enter heaven instantly because of faith alone or whatever paul said
>The man I worshipped descends
>The man I worshipped breaks the same cross I licked on a daily basis
>Judgement day begins
>get dragged to hell to get punished for my sins accordingly
>ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Gallery of christian gems
https://soybooru.com/post/view/113994
https://soybooru.com/post/view/86817