Christianity

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Christianity is (((Jewish))).

>Deus BRAAAAPPP!!!!!!

A Christian tries to fit his beliefs into the logic machine.

Christianity is a polytheistic religion that pretends to be monotheistic created by some Jewish pedophile named Paul who used to execute innocent Muslim followers of Jesus Christ before receiving a "vision". Xer polytheistic theology appealed to some pagan citizens of the Roman Empire, especially emperor Constantine who later outlawed and persecuted any monotheistic christians living in his empire. Christians then started leaking at each other for centuries because the holy spirit was not there, and nowadays christians suffer from a heavy sectarian split. Christians love Israel, lying and hate math. Most christians are nothing more than internet LARPers because most (if not all) christian countries are secular, liberal, and kiked.

There are some really weird kinds of Christians you can use for trolling, by sending missionaries. This includes Mormons and Jehovahs Witnesses.

On the 'arty

Christians are numerous on the sharty, composing 50% of the sharty's population albeit evenly divided along Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox sects.

History

After failing to take back the holy land like 27 times, """Christian countries""" started sucking Jewish cock SO HARD that when they finally took back the holy land in WW1 they immediately handed it over to the jews.

"""Christian""" history can be solely summarized to be the act of sucking BCC (Big Circumcised Cock).

The Holy Trinity

Xhey essentially believe that god is a 3 headed dog, calling this the trinity. The trinity is the most core tenet of christianity and is simultaneously the most retarded, it is by far what distinguishes them between muslims and jews. It states that God is a composite of 3 parts, the son, the father and the holy spirit, which literally makes no logical sense:

1. Christianity teaches there is one God
2. The father is God, the son is God and the holy spirit is God
3. All 3 of these are distinct so the father is not the son the son is not the father etc...
4. If each person is distinct then that implies 3 Gods (tritheism) creating a logical contradiction

The concept of a trinity has been increasingly hard to defend, this was demonstrated when William Lane Craig was struggling to win an argument against muslim scholar Muhammad Hijab, this was evident by him resorting to compare God to king Cerberus (which is a mythical dog with 3 heads geg)

What do christcucks believe in general?

• That Jesus is the literal son of God (but also god himself somehow).
• That Jesus died for our sins but not really because god cant actually die or something.
• That everybody inherits the original sin of adam and eve ev&tho thats contradictory.
• That God is Three distinct persons ev&tho thats polytheism.
• That long hair is for faggots but they keep drawing Jesus with it
• That killing babies is a virtuous god-obeying act (which is okay because its the old testament you stupid fucking chud)
• That being intolerant towards evil undermines our proud secular judeo-western values or something
• That the Catholic Church is either evil or that the fact it's being infiltrated is a lie
• That being a faggot is to be celebrated
• That the state of Israel should be protected
• Once saved always saved. Sin as much as you want
• Repentance doesn't have to be genuine
• That killing innocents regardless of age or gender is a good deed. (Deuteronomy 20:16-18, Numbers 31:17, 1 Samuel 15:3)

Christianity and its interactions with other belief systems

While christianity does tend to have certain parts that are comprehensive about the commandments and historical events around jesus' time and happenings centered around jews, christkikes are known historically to their submissiveness to jews and their avid unquestioned loyalty to israel despite the fact the bible does say that jews are evil little penny critters. Showing that despite the setbacks Cuckstianity still falls pray to jewish mindcontrol. Besides the interaction of Judaism with Christianity. Most modern white supremacists on all websites are mainly christian, failing to realize that their religion does not come from a white background at all and in fact 90% of people that are in heaven are literally niggers. People might usually attempt to circumvent this by saying niggers are not human, but then they would have to also claim that semites aren't human (despite them being caucasian) which was jesus' true race.

In fact, a Lebanese man once argued for U.S. citizenship by appealing to racial depictions of Jesus, asserting that if Jesus was considered white, then he himself qualified as white as well.

"It's based and Christpilled"

A huge falseflag operation probably made by pagans in order to derange Christianity, mostly popular under coal and brimmy posts. It eventually became a meme on Soysphere where people make their own Pills.

The Ten Commandments

After the Jews were freed from slavery, Christcucks say that God went on a big mountain and gave them ten rules like some divine janny.

>(((You))) VVILL honor ME and regard everything else as Shit Nobody Cares About.

>(((You))) VVILL not make fun of me or depict me as a soyboy you stupid wojackspammers.

>(((You))) VVILL not say "OMGSISA" because... You just won't, ok?

>(((You))) VVILL enjoy your 1 day weekend by praising ME and eating ze bug.

>(((You))) VVILL give your mom and your dad kisses and snuggles every night.

>(((You))) VVILL not make people ACK. Including trannies you fucking chuds.

>(((You))) VVILL not be a goyniggerfaggot.

>(((You))) VVILL not boil a young goat in its mother's milk. Feel free to boil a young goat in its daughter's milk, though.

>(((You))) VVILL finish this list, unlike the selfish little fuck who started it.

be christcuck

>be christcuck
>dreaming about the man god spirit begotten son three person essence something and the holy land israel all night
>wake up
>beat wife (she doesnt have to wear hijab doe :))
>go greet 7 year old daughter
>WHAT
>THE
>LE
>FUCK
>7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SAID "o*h m*y g*d" (USING THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN)
>Beat up daughter until her nose is shattered
>send her to school
>start thinking about muh black preaching choir. So beautiful
>JEEEZUS CHRAST OUR LAWD LAAAAAAAAAAWD JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEL LAWD KANG
>get dressed
>check son's room
>WHAT
>THE
>FUCK
>HES PUTTING ON A FUCKING TEMPORARY TATTOO?!?!
>cut off son's skin with the tattoo
>Scream "CHRIST IS KING" 10 times
>good deed counter goes up by one (1)
>but accidentally a bit of blood from son's skin goes on my mouth
>good deed counter goes down by one (1)
>fuck
>Damn brat son already ran off to be molested by the gay priest
>oh well, will beat him up later
>go to church
>speak in tongues
>skijdflawejfikdf rgnmbmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkgfjfkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll fgk2ogf4felgslekslsdlkfaweofapfw3920 oefj23i fdofwej
>get bored
>arrive at the idf military base
>bomb 10 heathens (7 women and 3 children)
>hallelujah
>israel's vinedressers.png
>get paid 10 shekels for my heroic deeds
>not enough money to buy flowers for my graven images- i mean icons
>idea.png
>go preach at speakers corner about how god is his own son
>Mudslim subhuman starts debating me
>heh, I got this.png
>tell him that god killed himsel- his son- actually himself to le SAVE you from.. uhh.. himself
>try to checkmate that muzzie by saying the trinity is a mystery
>mudslime subhuman tells me that i believe in contradictory nonsense and no logic-stretching will fix that
>This puzzles me because i failed math class in 1st grade
>before I panic, I bring up aisha
>mudslime reminds me that i justify murdering infants
>die from heart attack (the fried bacon was worth it geeg too bad for mudsissies)
>Appear before the God of israel (JESUS IS WHITE ARYAN SAAR THOUGH)
>Imagine seeing Paul French-kissing little boys (priestly tradition)
>God I wish this were me
>ask God to enter heaven instantly because of faith alone or whatever paul said
>The man I worshipped descends
>The man I worshipped breaks the same cross I licked on a daily basis
>Judgement day begins
>get dragged to hell to get punished for my sins accordingly
>ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

be le presbyterian

>be christcuck, presbyterian
>dreaming about da predestination and or somethginack
>wake up
>remember you le based protestant so you dont venerate mary
>venerate john calvin and his theology which makes every other protestant catholic and orthodox seethe
>le owned
>WHAT
>THE
>FUCK
>daughter forgot to seperate her day into seperate covenants with God
>sprint towards her and beat her
>she cant do anything because it was predestined
>you have no good deed counter because you le good forever or something
>shes predestined to go to heaven so nobody le cares
>go to church
>it turned into a fucking mega church
>pour water onto exposed wire as a means of grace (braptism)
>it was to save the church or something
>church burns down
>the church was not hymn worship or however the choir sings
>get paid 10 shekels by the nextdoor lutheran church
>die from ecumenical-induced heart attack
>appear before Jesus of Nazareth
>turns out i wasnt predestined for heaven
>immediately get sent to hell
>strangely not a single soul from that megachurch is there
>fuck
>see a painting
>break it because you're a based iconoclast
>He had enough
>sends you into the same level of hell as satan
>ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Gallery of christian gems

• 
• 
• 
  >TFW you have to turn the other cheek for Tyrone's massive bibisea
• 
  A catholic
• 
  >we all goon to 'p to save the christian race