Biblically inaccurate angel
This person is a minor!
You WILL remind them that they must wage war against the Antichrist for the sake of our salvation!
A Biblically inaccurate angel, sometimes referred to as a Cherub, refers to medieval and Renaissance era depictions of the Christian conception of an angel that are 'inaccurate' with traditional religious doctrine. They are categorized by their winged caca-like appearance, often endowed in a plain white robe, other times completely nude. Compared to 'biblically accurate' angels, they are very simple and not terrifying.
These types of angels are a soyboy's worse nighmare because they remind them of traditional European architecture, culture and art, which are a threat to the average soyboy's ideology. They may also pose a threat to a soyboy's intellect, since such a childish and simple depiction of an a complicated religious concept threatens their pseudo-intellectualism. Biblically inaccurate angels may also trigger someone's heckin' religious trauma due to memories them being 'aped by Pastor Bob in their Southern Alaskan Mormon church.
The Truth
[edit | edit source]Although the aforementioned soyience-loving soyboy will try to tell (You) that these depictions of angels are romanticised and un-scholarly, there are many Biblical passages to suggest that these youthful, human-like depictions are in fact accurate to angels. Consider the following passages.
Old Testament
[edit | edit source]Genesis 19:1–5
Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground. And he said, “Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.”
And they said, “No, but we will spend the night in the open square.”
But he insisted strongly; so they turned in to him and entered his house. Then he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”
Ezekiel 1:5–14
"Also from within it came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance: they had the likeness of a man. Each one had four faces, and each one had four wings. Their legs were straight, and the soles of their feet were like the soles of calves’ feet. They sparkled like the color of burnished bronze. The hands of a man were under their wings on their four sides; and each of the four had faces and wings. Their wings touched one another. The creatures did not turn when they went, but each one went straight forward.
As for the likeness of their faces, each had the face of a man; each of the four had the face of a lion on the right side, each of the four had the face of an ox on the left side, and each of the four had the face of an eagle. Thus were their faces. Their wings stretched upward; two wings of each one touched one another, and two covered their bodies. And each one went straight forward; they went wherever the spirit wanted to go, and they did not turn when they went.
As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, like the appearance of torches going back and forth among the living creatures. The fire was bright, and out of the fire went lightning. And the living creatures ran back and forth, in appearance like a flash of lightning."
New Testament
[edit | edit source]Matthew 28:2–3
And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat on it. His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow.
Mark 16:5
And entering the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.
Luke 1:26-38
Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”
But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”
Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”
And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible.”
Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Acts 1:10
10 And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel,
In conclusion, although there are many verses to suggest that angel's possess an abstract appearance, the way the Bible describes angels is nuanced and vague enough to be interpreted in several ways. The vagueness is intentional, since the grandeour of the Heavenly realm is heckin' incomprehensible to us simple children of God, and we should be at peace with that.
