Bigfoot
Bigfoot, otherwise known as the Sasquatch, is a large, shaggy, ape-like creature which inhabits the forests of North America. He is classified as a mythical creature, or cryptid, serving as an infamous legend to both contemporary American and Native-American folklore. Many variations of the creature exist throughout the Americas, even spanning to other Eastern continents. (You) are probably aware of him to some capacity due to his extensive coverage in mainstream and popular media, however whether he is aware of us is a heavily debated mystery, along with his existence in the first place.
According to personal anecdotes and eyewitness testimony, Bigfoot is commonly reported as standing between 6-9 feet with a stocky, apish, frame. Appearing to be an amalgamation between both a man and an upright ape, he is also covered in brown hairs that cover his entire body, except for his face and the palms of his hands and feet. Some soyience-loving demoralizers will attempt to discredit this by attributing these traits to other wild creatures that reside in America, however they're incapable of accounting for the human-like face which is a consistent description among eyewitnesses.
It is heavily inferred that there are multiple bigfeet that exist, as opposed to bigfoot being an anomalous creature. The temperment of these beasts are frequently described as being shy, humble and avoidant. Despite these seemingly passive characteristics, they can quickly become SLFs if their territory is threatened. The bigfoot will often civilly warn a trespasser by alerting them through audio cues (snapping branches, throwing rocks, etc). If these warnings are disregarded, the bigfoot may enter murder and 'ape mode.
Bigfoot hunting
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>Bigfoot, heh, ain't hear dat name in a lowng time
>I tell yu what, meet me here at dawnn tomorrow morn'
>We're goin' on a 'foot hunt
The art of bigfoot hunting is common in the United States of America, specifically in the Pacific Northwest. Rural areas with little education funding are also active spots for hunting 'feet.
If you happen to ever find (You)rself in those necks of the woods, take a visit to one of the tourist-trap rich historical villages / towns that host sightings of bigfoot. Go to a bar and inquire 'foot hunting to the old, no-nonsense veteran behind the bar. As he polishes his shotgun, he will be telling you all sorts of FACTUAL encounters he has had with a real life bigfoot.
Actually capturing a bigfoot is tricky, especially considering the fact they don't exist, however with the help of glue and inhalents, you can become a rambling eye-witness to a real life bigfoot too.
Counterparts and variants
[edit | edit source]Yeti
[edit | edit source]The yeti, or the abominable snowman[Don't worry, no one knows why it's called that], is essentialy the ice-biom counterpart of bigfoot. They exclusively reside in the Himalayan mountains. This may lead to xhem being confused with lost Mongolians, however with further inspection (You) may be able to see the slight differences between the two species. 'etis are incredibly fucking loud and screechy and are considered slightly more aggressive than 'feet.
Instead of residing in quiet corners of the woods, they proudly stand at high altitudes on mountains in solitude. They are incredibly ripped and stocky and could rip you to shreds in a matter of seconds. Upon seeing one in the wild, begin your prayers immediately.
Skunk ape
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The skunk ape is the Floridian regional version of the bigfoot legend. It is best known for dwelling in the swamps of the Everglades forest, and for its reportedly brappy stench which it constantly emanates. Despite being infamous for its brappy nature, this creature does NOT reside in Mexico. Unlike bigfoot, it is believed that only one skunk ape exists, which definitely adds to the le heckin scare factor. It is also described as being incredibly violent and hostile, especially if you have food / Sproke on you, so for the love of God do NOT venture out into the Everglades either late at night or by (You)rself.
Since the skunk ape is a greedy little fuck, distracting it with fatty foods tends to do the trick if you wish to get it off your tail.
'apefoot
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The 'apefoot is an incredibly dangerous and hostile variant of bigfoot. 'apefoot is best known for xis incredible sense of smell. This is why remaining calm around xim is so important, since if you begin to sweat with fear you will release pheremones that the 'apefoot will pick up on with ease. If you were to ever spot this beast in the wild, your safest bet would be to clench your buttcheeks and hope and pray that xe hasn't seen you. There are currently zero known survivors of 'teens who have interacted with the 'apefoot.
It can be found lurking in 'cord servers and creating pacts with pedotrannies
Gigafoot
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The gigafoot is literally (Me) if I were a 'foot. He is incredibly tall, but not lanky. Incredibly stocky, but not fat. Incredibly humble, but not weak. Incredibly vigiliant, but not violent. Gigafoot is THE fucking GOAT of bigfeet.
Gigafoot spends most of his time enjoying nature, catching fish with his bear hands and pissing up trees in peace. If you ever were to seem him in the wild, you can in fact say hi without any repercussions or fear of being attacked, however not many phonos are able to converse with him without stuttering or making a fool out of themselves, let alone approach him in the first place. His presence is truly that strong.
