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Israel

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Mazel tov! Israel is Kosher!This article is about (((God's chosen people))).
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Why yes, israelis are gigachads.How could you tell?

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Israel, also known as the Land of Israel, Palestine (GOY WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST), the Holy Land, and today's State of Israel, is the ancient Jewish homeland in the Levant. This is the glorious ancient homeland of the Jewish people, where they gave the world the Bible, and where Jesus Christ The Messiah was born and crucified. In 1948, David Ben-Gurion declared independence and the Jewish state was reborn.🗝️

History prior to the establishment of Israel

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Israel puts the Party in

The exodus happened and the Israelites who inhabited the land of Israel later became the Jews, they lived for hundreds of years in different periods until the Romans suppressed the revolts in Judea and kicked the Jews out of Israel, beginning thus the long history of Jews migrating around the world. It started with migrations across the Middle East (Yes, the Middle East was Jewish before Islam) until some retarded Arab sandnigger Muhammad made up an entire religion to justify rape, 'p, terrorism, genocide and BBC porn.

Theodor Herzl pictured in 1901. The founder of Zionism, and the architect of the jewish state

Later Turkroaches conquered the land until 1917, when the British occupied Palestine alongside Jewish soldiers, in order to establish a temporary mandate that would lead to the inevitable reunification and restoration of Israel as an independent State. This was because during the 19th century, certain Jewish thinkers like Theodor Herzl, Siegmund Freud (yes, the one who fucks your mom) and Ze'ev Jabotinsky were interested on the establishment of a Jewish state in Palestine. This led to the creation of Zionism, a philosophy that argues that Jews deserve an independent state in the Holy Land. Yes, that's right, it's not anything more profound than that, in fact (YOU) might be a Zionist without noticing, even if you support a 2-state solution (YOU) Are Still a Zionist. Zionism had many variants, but the most important were and are:

  • Labour Zionism: Zionism + Marxism, basically niggerhell. Popular because many Jews were (sadly) Bolsheviks and socialists. Wanted a Le Heckin' wholesome multicultural socialist paradise with faggots, Jews and Arabs living together under equality and equity.
Ben-Gurion declaring the independence of the new formed State of Israel from British Palestine

History (post-independence)

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Right after Ben-Gurion declared the independence of Israel, a war broke out between the arab states and Israel in order to finish Hitler's job (in arab leaders' own words). Initially Israel struggled in the conflict, to the point only the Central Israel area (Tel Aviv and the Mediterranean coastline) were controlled. Britain betrayed the zionists because they were trying as much as they could to keep inlfluence over Middle Eastern colonies by appeasing to their demands, however, Stalin ordered to send weapons, tanks, troops and ammunition for the Israel Defense Forces, being the only keyed thing he did in his entire nigger life. The aftermath of the war was the "loss of land" (even though they had 40 countries) for the arabs in Israel, causing the "Nakhba" (Arab for "Catastrophe"), where arabs had to flee Israel and were expelled. The Gaza Strip and West Bank were occupied by Egypt and Jordan respectively, and the status of Jerusalem remained uncertain, as the initial proposal of being a city controlled by the UN (Who the fuck was thinking that?) failed after Jordan occupied the eastern side of the city, kicking the jews of there as well. For 19 years, jews were not able to pray at the Western Wall, and Israeli Muslims or Christians also couldn't enter in the Old City (unless they got rid of their newly obtained Israeli citizenship). Thus, Israel established Tel Aviv-Yafo as their de facto capital.

Jewish soldiers of the IDF returning to Jerusalem in 1967 at the dawn of the Six-Day War

Israel shifted during the cold war from a Soviet-aligned state (until the late 1950s) to a non-aligned country, and later a NATO aligned country in 1979 when Menachem Begin was elected Prime Minister, becoming the first right-wing (and the first of many) PM of Israel and the first of the Likud party. This shift led to the USSR start trying to appease the Arab world, while the west was reversing those ties to solidify relations with Israel. In 1967, the Arab League, with the support of the USSR, tried to invade Israel, but failed spectacularly, starting the Six-Day war. During the Six-Day War, Israel saw it's greatest expansion of territory, including:

  • The annexation and occupation of the Sinai Peninsula (which at the time was bigger than the entire country)
  • The annexation of Judea and Samaria including cities such as:
    • Jericho
    • Hebron
    • Nablus
    • Jenin
    • Bethlehem
  • The occupation of the Golan Heights, which belonged to Syria for only 19 years, and ever since they have been claiming it (even though no one lived there)
  • Almost controlling the Suez Canal (The only battle that Israel lost)
  • The reunification of Jerusalem with the Old City, and jews could finally access the Temple Mount for the first time in thousands of years. And eventually it became finally the capital of Israel.

Later on however, Egypt and Syria would still try to reclaim the land lost in the Yom-Kippur War, even though no one actually won in the war, as it ended in a stalemate that favoured Israel's control over the Golan.

Lebanese SDF soldiers and IDF soldiers gathering during the outbreak of the invasion

Lebanon suffered a civil war in the 1970s that led to its southern territories being occupied by proxy terror groups like the PLO, later after the Shah fell in Iran, Hezbollah, a terrorist group acting on behalf of Khomenei took over Southern Lebanon and attacked Northern Israel from there, starting the 1982 Lebanon war, in which Israel allied with Christian Maronite militia, the SLA🗝️ to occupy Southern Lebanon and administer it. Even though Israel occupied the territory, the SLA was the main group administering it, and Arab was still the official language while Hebrew was only used by IDF personel in the region. Israel withdrew in 2000 under international pressure and personnel fatigue. The move was popular among Israelis, altough later they regretted it when Hezbollah was allowed to become a political party in Lebanon, later controlling South Lebanon again with even more power, and Maronites fleeing for Beirut, turning South Lebanon in a terrorist quasi-state and 97% Shia (basically an ethnostate).

In 1989 the First Intifada happened, a bunch of terrorists from the PLO and other jihadists groups attacked Israeli civilian spaces, such as schools, malls, streets and public transport hubs. This was done to demoralize Israel into giving arabs their own state inside the already established Israel (despite arabs already having Knesset representation, arab as official language, and the right to exercise religious freedom). This ended in 1995 when Yitzhak Rabin, a hippie socialist, signed the Oslo Accords, to ensure peace and stability, which gave path for a Palestinian Authority to control the West Bank and Gaza under a long term evacuation process. Ironically, this only further continued the conflict, when Israel could have just ended the terrorists and end for fuck's sake the stupid lie of Palestine.

Culture (YOU will care now after the previous SNCA)

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The culture of Israel is Jewish (Obviously). They have their own calendar, and as of 2026, in Israel the official ear is 5786 (beginning of the year) and the next, 5787 (end of the year) begins by autumn. The culture despite being Middle Eastern, is also severely influenced by EVROVRYAN CULTURE which gives Israel a more "civilization amongst barbarians" feel. Most of the architecture in cities like Tel-Aviv, Jaffa, Haifa and West Jerusalem is influenced by British, Roman, Ottoman and French architecture. There is also a lot of arab culture (they make up 21% of the country) but its largely related to food and Israeli patriots thankfully never let Arab culture negatively influence their identity, but they kept the food which is good or something.

List of national days:

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  • Shabbat (Every Saturday): A BORING holiday for joblessfags in which most jews don't work and instead stay in their house or kibbutz basically doing NOTHING, but most reform Jews and arabs don't celebrate it so they end up being the only ones working during that day.
  • Rosh Hashanah: New Year's celebration but with Hebrew Calendar, it's the most celebrated (obviously) among Jews and most activities consist in eating with fellow Jews pomegranates, honey, wine for kiddush and Apples. DO NOT MISS A CELEBRATION if you travel to Israel.
  • Yom Kippur: A September / October festivity in which jews repent and atone their sins (in their own way) in the last day of Tishrei, and reflect their lives and set goals to improve themselves. Jews pray on the Kotel (le wall according to chuds) and more SNCA prayers and practices I won't mention

Religion

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  • Judaism: Obviously, it is the largest religion in the entire country since many of its civilians are Jewish.
  • Christianity: Although some jews remained in Israel for thousands of years, the crusades and Christian influence had an important influence on the land and therefore the nation. There are only 1.8% Christians, but they are the second fastest demographic group, and most of them are Arab of Greek Orthodox and Melkite Catholic denominations. It's the safest country for Christians in the middle east, due to the government allowing Christians to hold political positions, military service, build churches and Christian schools, and also protection from Islamic terrorism. However, it's not perfect because Christian schools need to be privately funded, because Netanyahu is retarded and he only funds Jewish and Muslim schools, (although Christians have good financial stability and can afford education, and they also make up the highest literate group in the nation), and also suffer from some public harassment from Ultra-Orthodox and far-right jews, and also Mudslimes. There is a very small Protestant minority, most of them Anglican Arabs influenced by British Rule and American Evangelical who migrated to Israel because they really think it's necessary for Christ to Return GEEEEEEEEEEG.
  • Pisslam: For some fucking reason Israel didn't ban Islam, and in fact allows Islam to exist in the country, as well as halal slaughter,[albeit it's just kosher slaughter without the blessings] and the Al-Aqsa Mosque on top of the Temple Mount. They are mostly Anti-Zionist and behind most terror attacks in Israel and pogroms against Jewish residents, altough there is a small Zionist minority (but it doesn't matter because even without the antisemitism Pisslam is niggerbabble)(ev&oe Pisslam is Still Retarded Niggerbabble Even With the Antisoymitism). They also have political influence that leads Israel on being way too soft on Islamism despite westerners thinking otherwise.

Regions and Administrative Areas

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Gush Dan (Tel Aviv Metro) - גּוּשׁ דָּן

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This is basically the Metropolitan area of Tel Aviv-Yafo, including it's surrounding communities. It's the most liberal faggy region of the entire state and and has a gay population of over 25%. It's the most populated region, and the highest developed one, with a very rich technological industry based in AI development, Microprocessor production, Security Intel, Software and Military defense. It's also one of the world's most important Pharmaceutical industry hubs, with one of it's companies, Teva Pharmaceutics, producing most of the world's HRT products.

A summary of it's largest cities:

  • Tel Aviv: The largest city of the area, the beach tourist resort and the Faggot capital of the Middle East. It's either very modern and touristic or dirty and trashy, however it has some charming areas.
  • Jaffa (Yafo): The "old town" of Tel-Aviv-Yafo, one of the oldest cities in the Middle East, it is home to the only major arab community in the region. Largely built by the Ottomans, and it houses historic monuments such as the Clock Tower, or the first St Peter's Church, which is believed to be the place where Christianity split from Judaism.
  • Petah Tikhva: It doesn't exist, cease your investigation.
  • Ramat Gan: Goyim confuse it for Tel Aviv, but it's in the right side of the main road splitting both cities. It's a purely financial city with 5 star luxury hotels, the average citizen has a salary of 3,300 USD/month if we convert shekels to dollars.
The Temple Mount of Jerusalem with the Dome of the Rock sitting on top of it.

Jerusalem - ירושלים

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The historical homeland of the jews and the main setting of the New Testament. It houses the Ancient City of Jerusalem, with it's Jewish Quarters, Christian Quarters and Muslim Quarters. The region is allegedly "disputed" by journalcucks who are unable to read history, so the International Law divies it by Western Jerusalem (which belongs to Israel) and East Jerusalem (which includes Palestine). The truth however, is that the city never was splitted in half, in fact, there's no part of the city that belongs to one or another, because "`Palestine" (as in the arab state) didnt exist until 1967. Between 1948-1967, East Jerusalem was occupied by the Kingdom of Jordan, until the entire city was reunified in 1967 under Israeli control. Saying East Jerusalem is "`Palestine" is like saying California belongs to Narnia, and it's ironically a very antisemitic idea because you basically are saying that jews shouldnt have access to their ancient quarter (During Muslim rule, jews were severely restricted of free movement).

The College of Terra Sancta in Jerusalem

The entire area encapsules Israeli settlements and neighborhoods, including Arab villages.

  • West Jerusalem: This district was largely built around the 19th and 20th century during Ottoman, British and Israeli rule, inspired by European cities of the time. The architecture and state of the city are very clean and good-looking, which can be seen at places such as Paris Square, with Terra Sancta being one of the most recognizable buildings. It's also home of Kiryat-Ben-gurion, the Government Complex, which includes governmental buildings and foreign Embassies such as "The United States Embassy of Jerusalem", the Knesset, the PM's Office, Ministries etc. It's practically an ethnic enclave, due to 99% of the population being Ethnic Jews.
Jerusalem Day celebrations by in Damascus Gate. These often end up with violent clashes with arabs.
  • East Jerusalem: It houses the Ancient City of Jerusalem, the Mount of Olives, the Western Wall, the Temple Mount and Al-Aqsa Mosque, the Church of Nativity, the Church of the Holy Sepulcre and many foreign catholic missionary campuses. It has an arab population of 39%, and a jewish one of 61%. Despite being under Israeli control, International Law treats it as "part of Palestine", and there are many arab ghettos where violence has spread out among both jewish and arab extremists. It's the most crime ridden district of the city, and most hostile one, you cant expect to be "neutral" here because it's an all-out clash of ideologies. The district holds the Kiryat-Menachem-Begin Complex, which includes the Shin Bet Headquarters (The Israeli FBI infamous for being obsessed over "jewish extremism"), the Police HQ, and 3 other ministries.
  • Bethlehem: The birthplace of Template:PartySavingText, under Palestinian Authority control, it's a bunch of slums piled over an old city, and it was kept entirely alive by USAID until it shut down. It will be annexed in 2 years or something.

Southern Israel (Negev) - נֶגֶב

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Nothing. Literally. It's just desert and a few kibbutz. Beersheba maybe, and there are historical jewish sites related to the Exodus. It's a bedouin safe haven as well.

The city of Haifa seen from the Ba'hai gardens

Central Israel

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This region serves as a suburb of both Jerusalem and Gush Dan-

Haifa - חֵיפָה

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This region is purely the city of Haifa and it's suburbs and Kibbutz. Despite being largely ethnically jewish, 18% of it's habitants are christian, majority catholic. The Stella Maris Monastery is the largest Hebrew Catholic monastery in the country, which is part of a long history dating back to the Crusades. Haifa also has the largest concentration of Russian jews in the entire country.

Northern Israel (Galilee) - הַגָּלִיל

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Judea and Samaria - יהודה ושומרון

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Holy sites

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Judaism

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  • The Temple Mount
  • The Kotel or Western Wall if you are a faggot
  • Old City of Hebron (Judea and Samaria area, city full of violence due to "apartheid")

Christianity:

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  • Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the real and confirmed location of Jesus tomb and crucifixion site, and aligned with the Greek Orthodox Church, Roman Catholic Church, and other apostolic denominations in the Middle East.
  • Church of Nativity in Bethlehem, under Palestinian Authority, it's the church built in Jesus's birthplace, controversial due to being the target of both Hamas and IDF attacks during the Iron Swords War.
  • Nazareth, the city where Jesus lived
  • Jordan River, where Jesus was baptized, administered by Palestinian Authority, Israeli Administered Area C, State of Israel and Kingdom of Jordan

Islam:

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  • Mosque of Al-Aqsa, the most controversial place in the entire country, Muslims claim when they take over Jerusalem, Their Version of Jesus will return there. (HE WON'T GEG)

Cities

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  • Jerusalem: the holiest city of Abrahamic faiths, and the de facto capital of Israel
  • Tel-Aviv: A city built by Jewish settlers besides the Old City of Jaffa, born of the dream of a Jewish state, and designed to be the West's last great city, a culmination of European and Jewish Culture. It's the de jure capital and the financial capital of Israel, as well as one of the world's largest microchips, technology, finance and (((banking))) centers, where most of your GPUs are made btw. It's also the city with the most Faggots and Trannies due to (((Reform Jews))) being the majority.
  • Nazareth: It's the city where Jesus Christ The Messiah was from, unless you’re (((Haredi))) in which case he was just a poser or something.

Snopes