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Christianity (positive perspective)
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Christianity is ARYAN btw, if that matters |
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 Astaghfirullah! Christianity (positive perspective) is haram
The subject of this page has been disapproved by Allah and is considered haram. |
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 Oy vey! Christianity (positive perspective) is treif!
The content of this page has been disapproved by the state of Israel. |
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Christianity, also known as christiARYANity, is a monotheistic religion that teaches that JESVS CHRIST, a 1st-century Hebrew from the tribe of Judah, is the Son of God who came down to Earth to teach people the correct way of posting or something. He not only caused the most biblical clitty leak for the jews in kiking history but also used admin hack to come back when xhey tried to -ACK! Him, causing the jews to leak even more. According to Scripture and tradition, He then went back up to Aryanheaven, where He still awaits His Second Coming to return to judge us.
Chuddy Nature of (Patristic) Christianity[edit | edit source]
It may come off as a surprise to many chuds that, despite being founded by a Jew and (initially) spread by His jewish disciples, Early Christianity (and even modern Christianity) contain some of the most prevalent antisemitics nooticers history has to offer (and it's not a bug, it's a feature). Notable examples amongst many:
- Blessed Saint John Chrysostom the Golden Mouthed: Probably the most raging anti-septic on the list. His most remarkable work being a series of 8 homilies, spanning more than 100 pages, where he BTFO'd retarded-ass niggers who believe jews are a venerable species by arguing that jews are literally IRL Poopson
and that TKD is good actually
- Blessed Saint Ambrose of Milan: Defended Christians who burned down a synagogue and wrote a letter to Emperor Theodosius I saying how he shouldn't rebuild it because it was key'd (and he listened GEEEGGG)[1]. Soystorians hypothesized that this may be the first prototype of a vvinerald gem raid
- Blessed Saint John of Kronstadt (modern): Supported the Tsar's decision to separate unbaptized jews from slavic population due to fear of jewish subversion over the Russian Empire through economic means [sound familiar?], causing jews to have a massive clitty leakage and tried to slander him through kike-owned news media, to the point that xhey tried to -ACK! him. Unfortunately for xhem, St. John was giga and survived the stabbing (lmao vnbothered christARYAN)[2]. He reposed at the age of 79 at home when he fell asleep in the Lord
- Blessed Saint Athanasius of Alexandria: Debated that everything in the Old Testament ultimately points to Christ and that Judaism should JSID[3], proving that jews are not only retarded, but are also xalid plus-sized women of color
- Blessed Saint Justin Martyr: Wrote "Dialogue with Trypho"[4] where he argued with a seething kike. Proved that the Church is the real Israel and Christians the real Chosen People of God [OHNONONONO TELEVANGELICALS WHAT IS THIS] and that the Mosaic Law was temporary and fulfilled in Christ the Lord
- Blessed Elder Justin Parvu (modern)[5]: Chuddy Father who nooticed about vaccines, chips and a secret group of "elites" ruling the world
- Literally any local Greek priests
Christian VVINS throughout History[edit | edit source]
- Survived and outlived every empire that tried to -ACK! them (Rome, Soviet Union, Ancient Israel, Ottoman Empire, etc)
- Had the longest-living continuous empire (See: Byzantine Empire, 330 AD—1453 AD) (For reference: the U.S. is only 250 years old)
- 'Aped paganism and every pagan religion that think sucking that Odin cock will save them out of Europe
- Has the largest number of followers out of every religion in the world
- Make troons seethe on Xitter
- Make faggots seethe (Leviticus 18:22)
- Make bankers seethe (Matthew 21:43)
- Make furfags seethe (Deuteronomy 27:21)
- Make mudhammads seethe (Deuteronomy 27:21)
- Make FNF pedos seethe (Matthew 18:6)
- Make turks seethe (See: Greek Fire)
- Make reddit seethe
- Make admin 6 seethe
- Make satan seethe (Revelation 20)
- Revolutionized philanthropy
- Revolutionized the concept of human dignity and rights
- Revolutionized civil and legal aspects (Corpus Juris Civilis, calendar systems, marriage laws, family structures, ethical codes, etc)
- Preserved knowledge (Plato, Aristotle, mathematics, medical texts, etc) through monastic writing and copying
- Invented hospitals (See: Basil the Great)
- Invented universities (most modern universities have Christian roots)
- Invented Soyence (Yes, Isaac Newton, Gregor Mendel, Blaise Pascal, Robert Boyle, etc were all Christians) [OHNONONO SCIENCEBROS WHAT IS THIS]
- Revolutionized arts and beauty (See: Hagia Sophia, St. Peter's Basilica, etc)
Christian Denominations[edit | edit source]
There are three main Christian denominations, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, and the Protestant Churches (yes plural, because they are divided into 6 million different types <- MEDS 270k at best of churches). Other fringe sects include: Gnosticism, Mormonism, my cousin's local Sedevacantist cult behind the 7/11 with 3 members or however the bread is broken.
Black Hebrew Israelites[6] (Group)[edit | edit source]
>smacks lips profusely
>SO HOL UP HOL UP
>steals
>SO U BE SAYIN
>gets jiggy wit it
>SO HOL UP U BE SAYIN
>eats a skittle
>AYYYOOOO SO U BE SAYIN
>checks for nearest KFC
>U BE SAYIN
>collects welfare
>HOL UP HOL UP
>licks teeth then smacks lips
>AYYOO U BE SAYIN
>does the crip walk
>SO U BE SAYIN
>opens up a 40 and pours some for his homies malice green, trayvon and michael brown
>HOL UP SO U BE SAYIN
>tweets about dis and goes to check in with his parole officer
>WE WUZ
>dindu nuffins
>FINNA WE WUZ
>sucks air through teeth
>AYYYOOO HOL UP WE WUZ
>pulls up sagging pants
>SO WE WUZ
>instinctively looks around for the police
>SO U SAYIN WE WUZ
>faints and then gets up repeatedly
>SOM FINNA
>scopes dem titties
>SO WE WUZ
>shouts at movie theater screen
>SOM FINNA
>chucks spear
>AYYOOO SOM FINNA
>sets down cotton bale
>HOL UP
>strokes welfare check pensively
>WE WUZ
>throws up gang sign
>SOM FINNA
>swings from basket ball hoop
>WE WUZ
>grabs dick and shuffles left and right
>SOM FINNA
>participates in drive by shooting
>HOL UP MUH NIGGUH
>converts to islam
>U SAYIN WE WUZ
>repeated world star yelling in background
>SOM FINNA
>sells crack
>KAAAAAAAANNNNGGGGGGGZZZZ N SHEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>evolves from primate
How to be christCHAD[edit | edit source]
- Stop falling for bait, nigga
- Stop gooning to bait
- Get baptized or something
- Go to church (unless you're a mormon o algo)
- Find a good church
- Stop seeking gems but instead be a shining gem yourself
- Read at least one verse of the Soyble every day (Psalms is recommended)
- Say this prayer whenever you're overwhelmed: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner"
- Practice doing small, unseen acts of kindness and gratitude
- Uninstall reddit and 'cord
- Take care of your body and mind, they are a device of your eternal soul
- Learn to STFU and love silence
- Go outside
- Practice forgiving nusois for posting coal instead of calling them cordniggerkikejartypedoshitalianfaggotroon
- Do not turn a blind eye to evil
- Participate in gemmy raids and dox any rot pockets you see
- Achieve TND and TKD
- Consume soylent
- Eat ze bugs
- Be happy
Famous christARYANS[edit | edit source]
- Jesvs Christ (obviously)
- The 12 Disciples
- Constantine the
GreatGOAT - Vlad the Impaler
- Baldwin IV of Jerusalem [boi ts aint tuff]
- C.S. Lewis
- Father Garcia [oh my heckin obscure media]
- Father Grigori
- Wholesomejak
- Lionel Messi
- Kanye West (honorary Aryan)
- Saint George of Minneapolis
- Me
- ((You))
- Benito Mussolini
