Neon Genesis Evangelion

THE FOLLOWING FEATURES SLOW-BURN,
CHEAP JUMPSCARE FREE KINO!

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! Every character in this show is mentally ill and needs to be reminded to take their meds

>My wife Chino has blue hair though. >My wife Chino has pink hair though. >My wife Chino has red hair though.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (Soyspeak: Evancoalion, Japanese: 新世紀エヴァンゲリオン) is a top ten see-it-before-you-die psychological horror mecha anime with realistic adult themes and complex characters (who have exactly one defining trait each) plus a banger soundtrack and COOL FIGHTS!!. It is beloved by groomers, meximutts and trannies everywhere. This franchise is split into the original 90's franchise and the later Rebuild films which retell the story with a somehow more confusing plot and radioactive levels of EPI. This essential see-it-before-you-die anime follows the average Japanese boy, Shinji Ikari, as he is forced to pilot a robot creature to save the world from psuedo-Catholic BIBIALLY ACCURATE angels that are attacking the WALKABLE CITY of Tokyo-3, making sure they don't touch the crucified Jesus-blob miles underground. He is accompanied by an Aryan girl that he will later jerk off too, a clone of his dead mom that he is encouraged to fuck, a twink he's gay for, as well as his 29-year-old operations chief MOMMY MISATO AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA.

Plot Summary

Original Show

The original show begins with Shinji Ikari coming to Tokyo 3 to pilot an Evangelion because his dad Gendo (the director of NERV) wants him too, ev&doe his dad doesn't care about him. Shinji keeps piloting the robot while having realistic panic attacks alongside Misato, Rei and Asuka. In episode 22 Asuka is mindraped by an angel, so she gets replaced by Kaworu in episode 24. Kaworu acts as a decent human being towards Shinji, so they start being faggots together until Kaworu goes to the crucified Jesus thing becuase hes an angel or something, so Shinji has to kill him. The last two episodes of the show are a giant therapy session that abandon the plot entirely because the studio spent their time making lewd merchandise of the 14 year old characters instead of finishing their show. Tranime fans worldwide dilated so hard that they had to make a movie to finish the plot.

End of Evangelion

The movie begins with Shinji visiting Asuka in the hospital, and then masturbating to her exposed chest. Meanwhile, the shadowy cabal of global elite who want to remake humanity without free will or distinction between individuals based on Jewish theology who have been driving the plot want to kill Gendo because he is an obstacle to ze new world order or something and send the Japanese military to BTFO NERV headquarters. Shinji is le depressed so Misato has to save him from the Japs by making out with him before dying. Asuka got out of her coma after realizing her dead mom loved her, but is then stabbed repeatedly and ripped apart by several zogbots.

Meanwhile Gendo and Rei are with the crucified Jesus thing because Gendo wants to use Rei to reunite with his dead wife. Rei leaves Gendo to fuse with the crucified Jesus thing and becomes a giant. The zogbots fused with EVA 01 to make a cross thing, and then with Rei's help Shinji has a therapy session where he realizes humanity is... le bad? and decides to fuse everyone into an orange liquid which the show says is supposed to be the primordial soup life came out of.

After literally destroying the world Shinji decides he wants to live as a human again, so EVA 01 which is actually his mom flies into space and everyone who wants to be independant can leave the orange liquid. Shinji and Asuka wake up on a beach, and Shinji goes to choke Asuka because she was mean to him or something, but Asuka just touches his cheek and calls him pathetic after he breaks down crying in the final realistic panic attack of this genre defining masterpiece.

Rebuilds of Evangelion

The entirety of the first rebuild movie and half of the second are the exact same as the original show, until Shinji causes the third impact at the end of movie 2 while trying to save Rei. He wakes up in the 3rd movie 14 years later at the same age, and now everyone hates him, including Misato who left NERV because she doesn't fucking love science. A new Rei whos part of Nerv comes to retake Shinji, and as soon as he returns to Tokyo 3 spends most of the movie fucking Kaworu. The 3 of them have to go get some macguffins for Gendo, but Asuka fights them (she still has the body of a 14 year old because of a non-explained plot device). Shinji causes the billionth impact, and then Kaworu fucking dies.

The 4th movie has Shinji, Asuka, and Rei go to a Japanese village where Rei blows up because life is short or however the anime drops my jaw. Also Asuka spends the first half of the movie in nothing but a jacket and panties with no shirt or pants on despite her pubescent body being a plot point of the previous movie. The two then go back to Misato, and they all go to BTFO Gendo who wants to cause the trillionth impact or something. A bunch of ridiculous, contrived bullshit happens, and it ends with a few therapy sessions and then Shinji makes a world where EVAs never existed and he gets a girlfriend, ev&doe that goes against the supposed message of the original show that you should reject escapism and live in the real world.(<--meds btw you media illiterate nigger he made it so the current world(the one ruined by the impacts) is rid of any Eva and Jewish bullshit, letting the humanity rebuild.) Also they put in some bullshit message about how Evangelion has been dragged on too long and its time to end the franchise, despite:

• End of Evangelion was a fine ending to the franchise
• The creator started this 14 YEAR 4 FILM project out of his own volition 10 years after the original show concluded
• As of August 2026 theres another Evangelion show in development

List of characters

Shinji Ikari

Shinji is the main character of evangelion best known for piloting the eva 01 robot. He has a mental breakdown in nearly every episodes because the evas are hurting people or something. He also says he is going to quit piolting the evas about 3 times and yet he always come back to pilot them again.

Asuka Langley Soryu

Asuka is the pilot of eva 02 Best known for being a dick towards shinji all the time and also being German. Then having a mental breakdown in episode 22 because her mom hanged her self when she was younger.

Rei Ayanami

Rei is the first child best known for having no personality and following what ever nerv tells her to do mostly because she is technically a clone of shinji's mom. Theres also 3 versions of her, the one seen the most is the second version.

Misato Katsuragi

Misato is one of the most important people at nerv best known for being the care taker of Shinji and Asuka in the series while also being an alcoholic. She takes care of a penguin named Pen Pen who is the only mentally well character in the whole show.

Kaworu Nagisa

Kaworu is the fifth child and a twink that shows up in episode 24 best known for making Shinji fall in love with him. Later in the episode its reviled that he is the 17th angel and takes over nerv before Shinji has to kill him later leading to his mental breakdown in the last 2 episodes.

Gendo Ikari

Gendo is the commander of nerv and the father of Shinji best known for leaving his kid behind after his wife dies. This later causes Shinji to develop depression which leads to his mental heath problems in the series.

Cultural Impact

Evangelions dark themes and psychoanalysis have been appropriated by all types of goyslop and troonslop, taking care to remove anything that was good in the orginal. The "going inside a charcters mind to find their hecking trauma" has been done to death^{the trope peaked with FF7 in 1997}, and many pieces of media, especially indieslop like the ACK-mazing Depraved Brapus and all other indie animated shows are exclusively therapy sessions where the wholesome chungus cast sit around and cry about their feelings. Whereas Evangelion characters had actual trauma, in modern tranny writing the characters cry over xher mom laughing at xem or xher failed art career. And they don't even have the decency to put in a couple of cool fight scenes, so get ready for 30 minutes of uninterrupted faggotry that'll make your victorian child come out as transgender.