Monster Energy
Reason: @Cobblestone a draft already exists for this
If you disagree, please explain why at Talk:Monster Energy.
If you created this page, please don't be offended. Instead, consider improving the page so that it is acceptable according to the deletion policy. This page was last edited at 22:01, 25 October 2026 (UTC)
Remember what links here before deleting.
Monster Energy
Monster Energy's advertising specifically targets cacas. The bright coloured cans combined with the childish flavours lend well to indoctrinating children to consoom the estrogenmaxxer at a young age. Also their advertising consists of half naked women running around in satanic symbols because they think we're genuine retardedcattle, so this could also be classed as EPI.
you VVILL drink SPROKE and NOTHING ELSE - Doctor Soystein
Drinks
[edit | edit source]It comes in a variety of flavors, here's some notable drinks.
- The Original
- Ultra Zero (only good if you like the taste of semen and being annoying)
- Mango Loco - Mango loco is delicious, also a drink from agartha
- Juiced (ev&oe this is a TYPE of flavour, not a flavour itself)
- Pipeline Punch - Don't look into it
- Java
- Ultra Violet
- Ultra Strawberry Dreams - Engineered by the hardworking kikes at the Monster Energy factories to be the tranniest magnet OAT
- Ultra Paradise
>AAAAAACK!
You will never be a real energy drink. You have no flavor, you have no benefits, you have no charm. You are a goyslop diet substitute twisted by goyslop & caffeine into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is said only by the pedophillic trannies who drink you. Behind your back people pity you. Your creators only see profit and are ashamed of you, your "flavors" are simply the same exact thing rebranded to (insert franchise here)
People are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of agriculture & brewery have allowed people to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even monster energy drinks who "taste fine" smell uncanny and mass-manufactured to someone. Your ingredients are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a retard to drink you, they'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your metallic, mass-produced goyslop
You will never be enjoyed by people. Your investors wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell themselves it’s going to be ok, but deep inside they feel the bankruptcy & failure creeping up like a weed, ready to crush your company & the trannies who drink you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you'll see your failing brand, file for bankruptcy, and plunge into obscurity, never to be seen again. Your creators will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll turn your brand into a zombie and use it for half-assed tranny nostalgia bait for a quick buck, and every tranny for the rest of eternity will know that monster energy was a mere failure that lasted for 25 years at maximum. Your brand will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton of a brand that is unmistakably goyslop.
This is your fate. This is what you were made for. There is no turning back.
^ev&doe redbvll is also goyslop so just drink coffee mixed with liver
