CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.

Aliens

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Revision as of 23:01, 4 August 2026 by Alpine Express (talk | contribs) (Added THE STONECOLD TRVTH about aliens or something)
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>Though maybe you were looking for the fuggen immigrant Gestapo?
Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode.
(You) VVILL remind the author to take his meds.
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Your average band of Alien-fags. A G(r)ay, a Reptilian, and a Nordic.
>NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED ON THE MIAMI MALL ON JANUARY 2024. THERE WERE NO ALIENS. THEY WERE 'TEENS WITH FIREWORKS. KILL YOUR FUCKING SELF. YOU WON'T TALK ABOUT THIS. YOU VILL FORGET. THIS DIDN'T EXIST. AND NEVER WILL. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
>THERE ARE NOT ALIENS ON THE MOON. THOSE FILES DON'T EXIST. YOU VILL NOT INVESTIGATE THIS FURTHER.
>P47 ALIENS AND P52 ALIENS DON'T EXIST. YOU VILL NOT INVESTIGATE THIS FURTHER. YOU VILL NOT.
>ALIENS ARE NOT 3-METRES TALL. THEY ARE NOT ARYANS. YOU VILL NOT INVESTIGATE THIS FURTHER.
User was found acked after writing these comments.

Aliens, also known as Extraterrestrials, or ███████, are a hypothetical (or very real, depending on which retarded Amerimutt you're talking to) category of lifeform that is not of this Earth; they inhabit other planets in space. Whether they exist or not is currently unknown THEY DO DON'T LISTEN TO (((THEM))). According to science, there is a high probability🗝️ that they exist somewhere out there. (probably underground, or above us. Or right behind you.)

History

THE TRVTH ABOUT ALIENS!!1!!!11!

In 1947, a retarded alienfag crashed in the deserts of New Mexico, USA. At first, the Amerimutt military assumed it was le Nazis coming from the (((Moon))) or something. But the enormous Somali-like cranium revealed this thing was not of this Earth (Like real Somalians). This was the start of the US government's deal with aliens.

For over 80 years, the government has been trading shit nophono cares about for alien technology. In return, the aliens get more control over the government and the Western population. They even sometimes shapeshift into celebrities or political figures like Hillary Clinton to simply fuck with us.

They are so powerful, they rival the Jews in terms of who controls the world.

Despite them being very real and molesting humans in Dulce Base, many insist they aren't real. Deniers include Followers of Scientism (who see them as enemies of Empiricism), flat Earthers (who think they are Demons, trying to guide everyone to Heliocentric Nazism), and Dixielanders (who think the existence of Alienfags would invalidate Young-Earth Christianity or something).

Alleged alien shapeshifters

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>beep buup baap searching for niggersssss