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The CIA

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This page on the CIA may be vandalized by angry chuds from time to time.
Remember, the CIA are the good guys, and any slander you may read is decisively false
>Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA.
A CIA agent portrayed as a soyjak. Note warm, friendly glow emanating from him.
A CIA agent portrayed as a soyjak. Note the warm, friendly, glow emanating from him.
███ ███! █████ ███!!! >████ ██
The CIA are good guys, how could you tell?

CIA or the Central Intelligence Agency is an American intelligence service based in Langley, Virginia, USA. It was founded in 1947 during the intensifying Cold War. The CIA and its staff members are widely featured in pop culture and memes. ███ was once an agent, too.

CIA agents are said to emanate a warm and friendly glow, so much so that they glow in the dark.

You may know some of the CIA's famous psychological operations, such as Operation 67, a CIA effort to wipe all traces of Thrembo from the internet, and obscure it's existence to the public. Despite what chuds say about the negative nature of this operation, the motive behind it was profoundly positive - done to protect the world's population from trannies, who intended to use thrembo to mathematically prove they could, in fact, become real women (even doe Gödel mathematically proved trannies really can't be women so marge). Through biological agents known as "schizo meds", the CIA has altered the brains of most of the world's population to remove all knowledge of thrembo, or Operation 67. This, however, has had the unfortunate side effect of ████ ████ ████ ████████████ ████ ██████ ███ ██████ █ ████ ██████ ██████ █ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████████ ███ ███ ████ █████ ██████ █ ███ ███ ██████ █████ ███ ████ ███ ██████ significant threat to ████ ███ ████ ██████ █████ █████ █████ ██ ████ ███████ ███ █████ ███ ██ ████ ████ █ ████ █████ ████ at least █████████ affected, likely ████ █████ █████ ████ ████████ ███ ████ ██ ██████ genitals were destroyed ███████████ ████ ███████ █████████ ████ ██ ███ ████████ ███████ █ ██████████

CIA bad because...ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm they just are, okay, BECAUSE retarded niggers like larping SCHIZOID DISORDERS thats half this fucking page at this point, because soyteen, niggers will be niggers, remember that."LOOK AT ME IM SO SCHIZO OR WHATEVER IM so important that THEY are SILENCING ME ON THE BALD CARTOON NIGGER 4CUCK CLONE

CIA is the COAL that killed le internet o algo.

The CIA only wants to protect you, remember to NOT use Tor, VPNs, non-proprietary operating systems or anything that may hinder their ability to monitor your activities.

About 80% of the CIA and FBI are Mormons, they also usually are former nazis/neo-nazis who want to harm muh heccin jewerinos and we can't allow that because... because we just can't, ok?!?! Stop being a threat to our democracy you heckin' CHUD!

In Pop Culture[edit | edit source]

CIA was the man the selfish little fuck who was sent to capture ███ ███ ███. This undertaking proved to be █████ ████ as a result of ██████████████, and when ███ ███ ███ learnt of this, he invited CIA over for a cup of tea, which he happily accepted. They then proceeded to chat merrily about their lives. CIA then exited the residence of ███ ███ ███ in a safe and calm manner, and returned home, unharmed.

Upon learning that CIA had failed his mission, he was ███ ███ ████ ███ ████ ████████ █████████ ████ ████████ █████ ██ ███████████ ███ ███ ████████ ██ ██ ███████████ ███ ████ Soylent™ █████ ████ ███ ████ █████ ███ ██████████ ████ █████ ████ █ ████████ ██████ ███████ ████ ███████████ ████████ ███ ███ ████ █████ ████ ████ ████ ██ ███ █████ ███████ ██ ███ █████ ████████ ███ ████ ██ ████ ████████ ██████ ████ ████████ ███ ██ ██ ███ ██ ████ █████ ███████ ███████ ██ ████ ██ ███ ████████ ████ █████ █████████ according to Kuznetsov. ███ ████ ██ █████████ ████ ████████ ██████████ ███ █████████ ██ ███ ██████ █████ ███████ ███████

████ ████ ██ █████ █████ █████ ███ ████ █████ ███ allegedly caused by ████ ████ ██████ ███████ ███████ ██ █████ ███ ████████ ████████ ██ █ ██████ ███ █ █████ ████ ████████ ██████ the ████ ███████████ █ ███ ██████ ███ ████ ████ ████ ██ ████████ ███████ ████ ███ ██████ ████ █ ████████ ████████ ████ ███████ █████ ████ ███ █████ █████ 300 boxes of CheesyNiggers™ ██████ ████████ ████ ████████ ████████████ ██ ████████ ███████████ "Cobson" ███ ████ █████████ ███████ ████ ████ ███ ████ █████ ████ ███████ ██ ████████ DO NOT APPROACH HIM, HE ████ █████ ██████ █████ ████████ ███ ████████ ████ █████████ ████████ ████████ ██ ████ HIGHLY DANGEROUS. ███████ ████ ████ █ █████████ ██████ ████████ ██ ████ ████ ███ ████ ██████████████████ ████████ ████████ █████████ █████ ███ █████████ ███████ ██████ █████ ███ ██████████ █████ ███████ ██ █████████ ███ successfully killed and replaced with operative "Doll" ████████ ██████████ ███ ██ ████████ ██ ████ █████████ ███ ████ ████████ ███ ████████ █████ ████ total Sharty domination ████ ████████ ███████ ███ ██████ ██ ███ ██████ ██ ████████ ████ ████ ██████ ██ █████ ███████ █████ ████ ██████ ██ █████████ ████ ████ ███████ ██ though.

And CIA also created ████████, doe. And they're also collecting data from you via the memes you share on the internet. If you're a good goy, they might even send you to a trip to "Planet Dirt" where you may live in a pod aboard "USS kamikaze" and feast on delicious red and black liquens for the rest of your life.

The CIA VVILL put hummus up your ass while being interrogated

Their role in the discreditation of conspiracy theories[edit | edit source]

The CIA is directly involved in many conspiracies to date. Whenever something happens that sparks wide interest, most people take it at a surface level, and believe whatever they were told by the media about the event, not bothering to look deeper into it, as they either don't believe there is anything more to it, or because they simply don't care. This obliviousness and lack of interest is precisely what the conspirators want. However, out of the thrembillions of people on this planet, some people will inevitably dig their noses into places they don't belong and begin to question things a bit too much. These people will generally start connecting dots, associating seemingly unrelated things, and discover things that they were not meant to find which may cause the mainstream narrative that was told to the major populace to crumble or even break apart completely if not dealt with in time.

This is where propaganda comes in. Propaganda is most commonly known for being something that exists in communist regimes and dictatorships, it is generally seen as praising and glorifying the government and the leader of the nation. However, the reality is that propaganda exists all around the world and is subtle and covertly placed in every piece media you consume. The point of modern western propaganda is not to brainwash you into supporting the government and agree with all they do, but rather to get you to do and believe things that benefit the those in power, regardless of your actual views and stances on things, as all they need is your compliance.

In a ploy to discredit people calling them out on their schemes, the CIA hires agents to act stupid on the internet, they most commonly pretend to believe the earth is flat among other things, and call themselves "conspiracy theorists" to make actual conspiracy theorists look stupid by association. As a result of this, the word "conspiracy" itself has become a buzzword to discredit any claim anyone makes that may cause harm to the mainstream narrative. You may have seen cases of people dismissing someone's words as "being no more than just a conspiracy." Whilst the dictionary definition of conspiracy is "an act of major wrongdoing", the term itself has become synonymous with falsehood, misinformation, ridiculousness, and delusional thinking; to the point where the word "theory" that's usually appended has become redundant. It is factually not wrong to state that 9/11 was a conspiracy. Whether you believe it was done by Al-Qaeda or know that it was a false flag attack by the US government. However the erosion of education and therefore word comprehension, as well as classical conditioning of children from a young age to react emotionally to certain trigger words has degraded society into no longer truly understanding the meaning of words, but rather to have people react in preprogrammed ways upon hearing certain words and associate them with emotions rather than the actual meaning behind them.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

  • The man nicknamed CIA doesn't exist, disregard this image, forget You ever viewed it.
    The man nicknamed CIA doesn't exist, disregard this image, forget You ever viewed it.
  • A Soyjak trio of CIA agents.
    A Soyjak trio of CIA agents.
  • >THE HOLES IN THE MOON ARE NOT A RESULT OF A GIANT TAPEWORM BURROWING ITS WAY THROUGH THE SURFACE TO THE CORE WHERE IT LIVES

    >THE HOLES IN THE MOON ARE NOT A RESULT OF A GIANT TAPEWORM BURROWING ITS WAY THROUGH THE SURFACE TO THE CORE WHERE IT LIVES

See also[edit | edit source]

External links[edit | edit source]

Snopes

CIA
is part of a series on
the coal that is killing /soy/
Sources [-]Sources [+]
Symptoms [-]Symptoms [+]
Forced Memes [-]Forced Memes [+]
Treatment [-]Treatment [+]
CIA
is part of a series on
SHUTTING DOWN SOYJAK.PARTY

>SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN!
Entities that want to shut down Soyjak.st [-+]
 "Are you ready for ze New World Order?"
Tactics used to shut down Soyjak.st [-+]
Major events [-+]
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