Sharty U

THIS PAGE IS A HOAX The subject of this page is about as real as the Shoally is alive. Take everything below with a grain of sproke.

Sharty U had its corpse eaten by goonhitlers. (You) can help by using was/were pronouns on them and updating this page to make it better reflect the project's death. (Cause of Death: Kuz closed it down. What’s worse is that it’s non-existent)

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Contents of this page will be stained with soot. Consider bringing a duster!

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Sharty U was a prestigious jewniversity located in Omaha Beach that offered degrees in soydueling, quoting, and OC, until Kuz closed it down when xe bought the site, replacing it with Kolyma Boarding school, forcing ‘eens everywhere to change career paths. This very wiki has replaced the school. We need a Sharty U more than ever due to the xittergrants who don’t know crackshit about the history of the Sharty shitting up the ‘log.

History

On May 13th, 2021, Soot opened Sharty U in hopes of educating nusois and normies into the wonderful world of soyjaks.

Xit temporarily was owned by Captain Coal during xis attacks and gave degrees in hacking.

On March 7, 2022, a young Quote enrolled and wanted his friend, Froot to go there. But xe rather wanted to learn The Sharty with the incomprehensible wojacks xe saw on xis Xitter feed.

On July 16, 2022, xit was closed down by Kuz and was replaced with Kolyma Boarding School. Speaking of which…

Kolyma Boarding School

Kolyma Boarding School was a university that gave Soyteens degrees in communism, along with the aforementioned soydueling, quoting and OC. The Communist Manifesto was taught almost every day. Unfortunately, it was raided with school shootongs very often by ‘corders, which led to the shutdown in 2023, months before Kuz’s resignation from AIDS.

The ‘corders had dogshit aim and ended up committing suicide very often during the school shootings. Although, many soyteens were seriously wounded.

Jarty National High School

Jarty National High School was the polar opposite of Sharty U, instead of being a prestigious and remarked university it was instead some SNCA high school in the District of Maseru in Lesotho. It gave degrees for gooning, ‘p, bait and spam, and somehow outlived Sharty U. It fortunately ACKED as the Jarty shut down in September 2024, after a chemistry teacher decimated an entire city block by synthesizing antimatter, a relief from ‘teens everywhere. There was also a Shemmy Elementary School that was made to groom children that didn’t even last a week. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG.

Sharty U's controversies

People only know that the university was bought by Kolyma, but no one knows the circumstances on why it happened.

Shortly after Captain Coal’s hijack there was a massive exodus of students since their exams results and grades were leaked for everyone to see, most seniors tried to calm the freshman nusois about it and managed to save half of them.

some time later the old owner Soot suddenly came out of retirement and absolutely destroyed captain coal's reign of terror and offered affected students one year of free Soylent and vegan nuggets so they wont leave the university.

One of the controversies that wasn't talked about was about the murder of professor (and doctor) soyberg which was in charge of the medical campus, he was best known for working as a psychologist after hours and prescribing meds and sproke to mentally deranged individuals which ultimately cost him his life outside of the campus where he was brutally murdered by schizos which torn his limbs off and used his face like a mask, the individuals were shortly apprehended by a mysterious psyche ward doctor which lured them to a nearby looney truck with a strange liquid that resembled a milky liquid that smelt like almonds.

The last straw and final blow

The last controversy would be the worst one yet, some 'teens reported about 2 shady figures that roamed the campus which one of them specially waited outside the babyjak daycare campus, some witnesses declared that when it got near the daycare they could heard brapzilian phonk and that he emitted a pungent odor like feces and smegma, it was later caught by /raid/ campus students after he breached the daycare and tried to snag a babyjak that was sleeping.

The second shady figure was never apprehended but people will always remember him and how he looked and acted, he was a towering 2+ meters bald overweight white man with glasses that only was caught using white underwears and white socks, he usually appeared at after hours when all students finished their daily lessons. He was tied to a variety of disappearances and crimes that would be:

- The rape of 4 Sharty U students which escaped from captivity.

- Dissapearance of a Jarty National High School student which to this day no one knows where he is.

- Stealing 10 gallons of sproke from Dr. Soyberg’s stash before being murdered.

- Grabbing experimental meds from Dr. Soystein’s drawer that could enlarge dicks but made you constantly horny.

- The attempted kidnapping of hall security Nate Higgers which was saved thanks to feraljak having a meltdown in the hall and startling the crime doer.

- Almost raping professor Soytan when she was leaving the university, thankfully janitor Chudjak saved her since he was throwing trash to a trash container and managed to strike the rapist with his broom.

The crime spree of this individual was the final blow of Sharty U's reputation, Soot eventually was about to hit bankruptcy thanks to a class lawsuit about the poor security meassures agaisnt the last individual and lack of support of families of the 4 raped students and the family of Professor Soyberg, he eventually sold the entire place to a wealthy russian businessman.

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