CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.

The FBI

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Revision as of 02:45, 28 July 2026 by PillKedos (talk | contribs) (Stylistic changes and substantiated the "Kash Patel hacked" claim. that citation is neatly formatted btw if that matters)
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This page is about the FBI, and may be vandalized by angry troons from time to time.Remember that the FBI are the good guys, and any slander you read about them is decisively false.
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>SAAR! SAAR! uhhhh there's a Paki looking at me through this glass ya kuchh is tarah ka
SAAR! This train collision was caused by PakistanisDon't redeem any card you see. Shill H1B visa while dodging trains to make Bharat a superpooper.

A diagram showing the differences between Glowies and Feds
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Kash Patel, director of the FBI

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its ███████ constituent ████████. The FBI is your friend, it does not want to hurt you. This page was NOT created by and does not have ANYTHING to do with the CIA.

The FBI has been involved in many operations and investigations regarding soyjak.party and SoyBooru, including:

████████ (formerly Kolyma.net),██████████ ████████ overthrew ████ with the help of ████ ███ and Special Agent Maximov █████ ████████ ██████ ████ ████████████████. Special Weapon Poopson awaits use.

████████ ████ ████████████████ OpFor DOLL removed by by Special Agent FROOT, awaiting further instructions ████ ████. Hail CHIEF.

About 80% of the FBI and CIA are (((Mormons))).

The FBI is currently led by an Indian named Kash Patel. He uses this position to find gift cards to redeem. Xe was hacked around March 27, 2026 by Iranian hackers.[1]

There is no CIA, cease your investigation NOW!

See also

Snopes

  1. ↑ Haberfeld, Daniel, and Gabriel Weimann. "Iran’s Handala: Cyberterrorism or Psychological Terrorism?" Studies in Conflict & Terrorism, Routledge, 2026. Accessed July 27, 2026.
FBI
is part of a series on
SHUTTING DOWN SOYJAK.PARTY

>SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN!
Entities that want to shut down Soyjak.st [-+]
 "We make the problems, then blame (You)!"
Tactics used to shut down Soyjak.st [-+]
Major events [-+]
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