Minions.party

THIS ARTICLE IS A HOAX The subject of this article is about as real as the jassy is alive. Take everything below with a grain of sproke.

The home page.

A screenshot of /banana/'s 'log shortly after the splinter's creation.

A screenshot of /banana/'s 'log after the 'p post.

minions.party, or the Marty^{(oh my fauci, a 'Jak to the Future reference!!1!)} for short, is a fake gooner-killing minion splinter, which is said to be filled with never goon minions (obviously) and obsessed shrekchanners. It's a closed community and you can't even view the real site unless your IP has been whitelisted, otherwise you'll simply see Gru's logo against a yellow background when you access it. The site is FAKE-- a quick look at the Wayback Machine proves the site has been Gru's logo since 2018, before the sharty even existed and the WHOIS record of the domain was last updated in 2024, a year before the first mentions of the site on the sharty. It was most likely created with inspect element and the threads about it were probably samefagged to oblivion. It is said that on February 28 2025, some villain posted 'p on /banana/'s log for a whopping 10 minutes, ohnononono Martycucks and AVLcucks…

It is said that the Marty has its own wiki, booru and IRC channel.

How to get whitelisted

The site is NOT real and this VILL NOT give you access to a Minions splinter. This section is kept just for documentation of the hoax.

Find an agent of the Anti-Villain League (AVL) and request a background check. This is most easily done by going on the Sharty's IRC and asking for "Gru" or "Bob" - while these are not their actual IRC usernames, doing so will notify either the 'Marty's admin, Gru, or his moderators to send you a direct message. Once the background check is completed, you will be asked for your IP so it can be whitelisted (they recommend that you use your VPN IP rather than your real one though, out of respect for your privacy).

Currently, getting whitelisted on the 'marty has become increasingly difficult due to the fact that IRC admins have caught wind of the scheme and begun banning anyone who asks for Gru or his admins. This may lead to the 'Marty's stagnation and collapse, unless they are using 'cord or find alternatives like opening a direct link for their IRC or just opening the whole site.

Boards

• /banana/ - Minionposting^🗝️
• /gru/ - NAM (not a minion) posts
• /v/ - Vector (OH, YEAH!)^🗝️
• /weewoo/ - the Marty’s /nate/, likely filled with minion porn and ‘p False, it's filled with TND videos and GIFs.
• /mv/ - Videogames and modding of the franchise (sadly, Nintendo isn't allowed)
• /m/ - Board for females evendoe none browse the marty. Named after Gru's mother.
• /l/ - Gooning to Gru’s wife
• /nef/ - Nefario^🗝️
• /mov/ - Discussion of Movies, preferably Illumination and animated (so Hop gets a disadvantage)
• /r/ - Requests
• /ng/ - Board for Gru’s adopted kids which is full of literal pedos sif tortute (o algo in minionbabble) Debunked, it's a board for Never Goon warriors and is aryan^🗝️
• /rush/ - The Minion Rush mobile game
• /boss/ - Discussion of previous bosses ^[Marge...]
• /evil/ - Martycuck's evil schemes ^[Marge...]
• /raid/ (sadly, the name is just it, not /avl/) - The AVL steals GETs and raids gooners and pedos
• /doom/ - World events ^[Marge...]

A screenshot of the catalog of /ng/.

• /f/ - Real world supervillains (like Klaus Schwab)

• /base/ - Trash (Marge, another /weewoo/ ?)
  

Catalog wipe

On March 1st 2025, a brogre who managed to infiltrate the site cattywiped /banana/ with images of Shrek coupled by the text "GET OUT OF MAH SWAMP". SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK MARTYFAILS WHAT'S THIS?

Side note: As pointed out by 'teens, is unclear whether the entire catalog was actually wiped, for limited access to the 'marty made the claim unverifiable and only a screenshot of the first 3 rows of posts was given. However, responses from martycucks in the thread seemed to indicate that he did indeed wipe the catalog, if only for a brief time.

Known slang

Martycucks speak in incomprehensible minionbabble. Most of it is gibberish which means nothing, but there are some terms which mirror that of soyspeak terms. There is limited information on this slang because most knowledge of it comes from its use on the Sharty, which may or may not be representative of its use on the 'marty.

• Banana! - Kek!
• Pep, it's peeled! - Kek, it's kino!
• TRUTH FREEZE RAY - TRUTH NUKE
• 'Nanner - gem
• Ripe 'nanner - Glistening gem
• 'Nannered - keyed
• Ba! - Geg!

Citations

Minions.party is part of a series on Splinters Visit the Soysphere portal for more. ✝: Dead	Direct splinters [-+] Official sites (soyjak.blog✝ ♦ bunker.soyjak.wiki✝ ♦ gyatt.party✝ ♦ irc.soyjak.st ♦ soybooru.com ♦ soychan.org✝) ♦ jakparty.soy✝ ♦ The Kuzzy ♦ neutralplier.party✝ ♦ sharty.party✝ ♦ Shemmy ♦ Shiny✝ ♦ sidcity ♦ soyjak.pythonanywhere.com✝ ♦ NuSchlog✝ ♦ NAS (cado.party✝ ♦ Fooey ♦ qa2triots.win✝ ♦ The Gitty ♦ Zarty)
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	Soyjak Websites [-+] soyja.cc✝ ♦ soyjak.cc✝ ♦ soyjak.com✝ ♦ soyjak.download✝ ♦ soyjak.io ♦ soyjak.lol✝ ♦ soyjak.studio✝
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