Football

From Soyjak Wiki, the free ensoyclopedia
Jump to navigationJump to search
>Though maybe you were looking for American football?
This page is about Europoors or something like that.Shart on every page revision for the AMERICAN TRVMP-GIVEN PATRIQTIC TRVTH or whatever.
This page is Brappy.Eat unos takis y drink un refresco before you read this page o algo
why are you jumping into a tackle? The balls on the ground dumbass

Association football, or Fútbol if you’re a Spic, or Soccer if you're an Amerimutt, is a team sport played between 2 teams, normally played with 11 players per side but this can change, such as 6, 3, 4 a side etc. But normally, this isn't called A vs B unless you’re referring to a team, like ‘Arseanal vs Chelski’ But if you’re talking about how many people are on one team, you would say “Lets do 6 a-side” if you had 12 people to play with

Tell me more about this shit sport obsessed faggot.. or something..

[edit | edit source]

I'm happy to oblige mutt, first lets start off with the lingo.

  • Red card - Getting sent to the pitch for being too touchy, do that in your own team faggot
  • Yellow card - Stop touching him
  • Penalty - Pretty much a free goal, unless you’re a nigger or
  • Freekick - Basically a penalty but further away and some guys have to jump to stop it
  • Foul - Touching the scrotum
  • Offside -
  • Injury time - Normally, the game is two halves lasting 45 minutes each, but more can be added on depending on how long players roll around on the ground
  • Goal - You finally scored, well done
  • VAR - Geg nevermind
  • Extra time (actual one) - However, not to be confused with Injury time thoughbeit, only happens on cup competitions normally after a draw on the first 90 minutes
  • Penalties - When nothing happens after extra time, it will go to the penalty shootout, with 5 sets, the team that scores more penalties and concedes less wins, however it can end before the 5 sets are completed for example 4-1 (game ends on 4th set), 0-3 or 3-0 (Game ends on 3th set) or go into an genre-redfning, bone-chilling, slowburn new pair of sets called "Sudden Death" after a tie/draw on the end of the 5 sets or whatever.
Same thing if one team scores and the other doesn't, it ends immediately

Positions

[edit | edit source]
  • Goalkeeper - THE ONLY GUY WHO FLOPS AROUND IN FOOTBALL, everyone knows about this guy, even people who haven’t even touched the sport AKA (((((You)))))
  • Defender - Second-to-last line of defence, should be very good and water-tight.
  • Midfielder - In the name really, he defends and attacks, she should be able to stay calm on the ball and to start off a counter attack.
  • Strikers - The dudes who score the goals, unless they’re shit and cant score for shit
  • Wingers - Left wing and right wing, They are the guys who get the ball to the strikers, should be very fast and have good balance
  • Cup, League, etc - A Cup can either be knockout directly with only one leg, which means if you lose one game, IT'S OVER.
In a two-leg knockout, you can lose one and win one and you will go into depending of the format, you either go into extra time, penalty shootout directly or away goals (team that scored more goals in the opponent stadium wins).
The winner/champion of a League format is the one who scored more points in the full season, however there are many different formats around the world, like the Liga MX which the team that braps the most wins one of the two tournaments Apertura or Clausura is only crowned champions of the Apertura or Clausura. Due to this two teams can be crowned champions, however one team can win both on the same season o algo.

Basic rules

[edit | edit source]

There are a LOT of rules in football, these are the basic ones.

  • A football match usually lasts 90 minutes, with two halves of 45 minutes each with a 15 minute break inbetween. Any amount of extra time can be added during the halves by the referee, depending on which team he bet on.
  • Throwing the ball out of bounds will result in a throw-in for the opposing team. If the ball goes out over your own goal line, the opposing team is awarded a corner kick. If the ball goes out over the opposing team's goal line, their goalkeeper is awarded a goal kick.
  • You will NOT hit the ball with your hands. Only the goalkeeper can do that albeit inside of xir box. Failure to do so awards (You) with a yellow card and the other team with a free kick or a penalty if it happened inside the goalie box(Unless you're Messi). There are times where a handball is unintentional, like when you don't want to hit your face on the ground when falling.
  • Players can be substituted for others in the bench if a coach says so. A maximum of 5 players can be subbed in one game (or 6 if one gets a brain aneurysm) in 3 different opportunities or "windows". A player that's been subbed out cannot be subbed back in.

Isn't this that sport which copied the Board Clash or whatever?

[edit | edit source]
point and laugh at this faggot who done all this work for nothing

Board Clash was an event made by User:Poomageddon and was going to be run by Froot, Unfortunately Froot never kept his promise and would rather laugh at (You) in the Frootcord for posting averi porn on /qa/ and thus the event died before arrival.

List of notable Football clubs

[edit | edit source]
(((AFC Ajax)))
AFC Ajax is a club in the Netherlands best known for having one of the greatest youth academies in the world, their fans call themselves the Superjews because muh Jewish identity or something
FC Barcelona
FC Barcelona (formerly CF Barcelona) is a club in Catalonia best known for always accusing their rivals of cheating when things don't go their way, most of the time xhey accuse Real Madrid because of the rivalry between both, xhey are also known for getting into financial struggles and massive debt over the years.
CF Real Madrid
Real Madrid is a club in Spain best known for always getting accused of cheating by rival teams, though like Brapcelona, xhey also accuse others of cheating.
Inter Miami CF
Inter Miami is a club in Florida best known for signing Lionel Messi or something.
Paris Saint-Germain FC
Paris Saint-Germain is a club in France best known for their fans destroying the city after winning a championship for some reason.
Santos FC
Santos FC is Pelé and Neymar's club. They didn't need governmental help to build Vila Belmiro.🗝️
New York Cosmos
New York Cosmos was a club in New York that Pelé also played for and later dissolved in 1984 but got brought back in 2025.
Fort Lauderdale strikers
Fort Lauderdale Strikers was a club in Florida best known for signing German football great Gerd Müller and later dissolved in 1994.
Club América
The biggest team in CONCACAF. On the 'party, it's best know for giving us El Perro Rabioso. Shitoko's team, basically.
Al-Nassr FC
Al-Nassr is a club in Saudi Arabia best known for signing Cristiano Ronaldo.
Al-Hilal FC
[edit | edit source]

Al-Hilal is a club in Saudi Arabia Best known for battering Al-Nassr and making Cristiano Ronaldo cry and Farming the Saudi pro league each year

Leicester City FC
Leicester City is a club in england best known for winning the premier league in 2016 but got relegated all the way to league 1 .
Inter Milan
Inter Milan better know as inter is a club in Italy best know for suing Inter Miami because their names sound a like but ended up losing the lawsuit.
Manchester City FC
Manchester City is best known for having the best youth academy in England. Though being owned by rich mudslimes still generate world class players through the academy.
Manchester United FC
[edit | edit source]
Manchester United is best known for being goated until 13 years ago. While having some trophies by then, they're mostly go whining on Xitter after getting cucked by lower league teams once and a while.

Tottenham Hotspur FC

Known as the Yids, the team is mostly known for it's very unambitious and frugal owner and it's huge Korean fanbase due to one of their greatest ever players being from there. They never win shit and they should be permanently demoted to the EFL Championship where they actually belong.

FC Bayern Munich
[edit | edit source]

FC Bayern Munich is a club in Bavaria Best known for winning the bundesliga against part time plumbers every single year WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT 2024 TUCHEL WAS A NIGGER ev&doe some teams are actually fighting for the league recently

Borussia Dortmund
[edit | edit source]

Borussia Dortmund is a club in Dortmund Best known for being second place in the bundesliga every single year.

List of notable Countries on football

[edit | edit source]
Brazil
Brazil, also known as the Canarinhos, is best known for being the country with most World Cups so far, winning it 5 times; for having infamous players such like Pelé, Romário, Ronaldo Nazario, Ronaldinho, Neymar Jr and more recently, Vini Jr. and for losing by 7-1 against Germany on his own Cup KEEEK.
Brazil is also extremely rival to Argentina.
Argentina
Argentina, or La Albiceleste, is best known for his infamous player Lionel Messi, who is often considered the Greatest Of All Time (or GOAT), who won the World Cup in 2022 which some people think it was rigged. Argentina is also known for having the most fanatical fans and for mentioning their World Cup on any discussion. Argentina also won another two World Cups in the past, the most remembered is the 1986 one, where Maradona scored a goal with his hands.
Argentina is the country with most Copas America: 16 titles.
Germany
Germany, or the Nationalelf, is best known for winning it in 4 occasions; the most infamous in 2014, when they defeated Brazil and prime Argentina. Despite of that, they have the most neutral fans, due to national sentiment being extremely low on Germany (I really wonder why...) and they're facing difficults on playing the World Cup.
France
France, also known as Les Bleus are known for, despise being located on Europe, being filled with niggers on their team, the most infamous being Mbappé. They have won in two occasions: 1998, in their own country and 2018, in Russia. Since that, France played every Cup very well despise sucking on the Euro.
France fans, just like PSG fans, also loves to destroy their cities when their team is winning.
Italy
Italy, or the Azzurra, are known for winning it 4 times, the first two during the Fascist regime. But since 2014, they didn't qualified for any single World Cup, despise winning the Euro in 2021. Their most infamous player, Roberto Baggio, is known for missing the penalty that could have gave them a World Cup in 1994, against Brazil. Italy fans are extremely fanaticals and treat their team as a sort of religion.
England
England is the country that invented the football and they revelated a lot of good players, such like Charlton, David Beckham, Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham. But, surprisingly, their last title was in 1966, when they won the World Cup on their own country but since then, they have never won anything.
England is also known for their infamous phrase "It's coming home!", which is used to show their wish to won a title in football that would bring football back to the place it was invented, but they're still waiting on that. England fans are extremely fanatical.
Spain
Spain or La Roja are known for winning the most recent World Cup in 2026, against Argentina, with players like Rodri, Oyarzabal, Cucurella and Lamine Yamal. They also won in 2010 with the infamous Tiki-Taka. Spain fans are also fanatical but way more chill compared to other fans. They're also the country with most Euros: 4 titles.
Uruguay
Uruguay or la Celeste (how original) are known for winning only two four times in 1930, the first Cup on history, and 1950; but for whatever the fucking reason they love to cope saying they have won it 4 times because le Olympics or something the Olympics count as world championships back then and argies are leaking because they have less world titles than Uruguay.
Beside of that, they're only know for their last generation, with Cavani and Luis Suarez.
Portugal
Portugal is best known for his infamous player, Cristiano Ronaldo, which is also considered the GOAT. Is probably the team with most fans, due to Ronaldo's popularity over the World. Ronaldo is often rivalized with Messi, which is probably, the greatest rivalry in the World.
So far, Portugal only won an Euro and two Nations League, all with Ronaldo.
Mexico
Mexico is best known for having the most obsessed fans, trying to force rivalry with every team in the Americas despise not winning anything but their Concacafs, and hosting the World Cup the most amount of times (3 in total). Mexicans also destroys their cities when Mexico wins and Mexican Cartels threaten other countries players. Prime Chicharito is better than Hugo Sánchez btw.
USA
>It's called SOCCER, obsessed europoor spic faggot
The USA is best know for hosting the MLS (& Copa America) and for somehow managing to get 3rd place during the first ever World Cup. Their fans are some of the biggest retards to have ever graced a stadium and don't even know how the off-side rule works. Christian Pulisic is also a mutt.
Japan
Japan or the Samurais is known for being the best team on Asia, winning 4 Asia Cups and always coming to the World Cup with a good team. Asians will never win the World Cup btw, and that goes for Turkey as well.
Netherlands
The Netherlands or the Oranges, are known for being one of the best teams, with extremely good players all over their history, reaching the finals 3 times and losing every single one. Dutch people also loves their team, but they're less fanaticals.
Australia
Australia is best known for not competing in the OFC tournaments anymore. They're the only somewhat good country from Oceania (New Zealand, the 2nd best team in that region, doesn't even reach the global top 50. The teams after them are actually worse than India's national Football team)
Indonesia
The national team is full of dutch player because the team's soo bad due from the prospect, PSSI had naturalization dutch and aussie player with Indonesian decent. example: thom Haye kevin Diks joey pelupessy maarten paes (not has Indonesian blood geg) and the Aussie kid called Matthew Baker their rival is Malaysia due the same language and Vietnam because the struggle for regional supremacy in Southeast Asia also their player justin hubner got 'ape threat to his wife and daughter

Relation to Gooning

[edit | edit source]
(You) shall use the King's English.
These people are GOONERS!Xey have a severe porn addiction induced by years of being terminally online clittycels

Supporters of Arsenal FC call themselves Gooners

LGBT supporters of Arsenal FC are called Gay Gooners

(((Jewish))) supporters of Arsenal FC are called (((Jewish))) Gooners (even doe Tottenham Hotspur is London's Jewish club)

If unironically, then Arsenal call themselves like that because of Britbong pronunciation of the word "gunner". It should be noted that Gooners are the supporters and Gunners are the players.


People who like football

[edit | edit source]

See also

[edit | edit source]
Retrieved from "https://soyjakwiki.org/index.php?title=Football&oldid=556244"