The (x) that (y) the Party

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds.

The (x) that (y) the Party was a bone-chilling type of topaz article. They were riffs on the gem that saved the Party and the coal that killed the Party. Due to clittyleakage on Talk:The iron that killed the party, this page has been created to compile all these parodies.

The gem that destroyed the Party

The gem that destroyed the Party was a gem so glistening and shiny that all Soyteens ceased posting just to admire this gem. Due to the inactivity of the site caused by this gem's alluring properties, jannies deleted the original post of the gem in hopes of bringing the PPH back to a healthy level. This resulted in heavy backlash, as Soyteens constantly complained about the gem being removed and doxed the janny that removed the post. After a month of constant grief, 99% of Soyteens decided leave the site for good due to this poor decision, effectively destroying the Party.

The iron that did something to the Party

The iron that did something to the Party is a post that exists constantly on /soy/. It has the most genuine replies out of any other post on the 'log on that day but will likely not be talked about for the rest of the week. There may even be multiple irons that did something to the Sharty on the 'log at a time. There's even one of the 'log right now if you look. The most defining trait of this iron is that it did do something on the party for that day.

The carbon that does nothing to the Party

The carbon that does nothing to the Party is a 'jak that will be so average and unremarkable that absolutely no one bats an eye at it. It'll inevitably fall down to page 23 with 0 replies. It may have already been created, since nobody would bother replying to it, or even saging it. It will be completely forgotten by everyone who saw it within seconds. Jannies will continue to mop, trannies will continue to never be women, and soyteens will continue to post more carbon that does nothing to the sharty.

The iron that killed the Party

The iron that killed the party is an extremely unlikely, hypothetical event that would require iron of such neutrality that it kills the sharty. It is theorized to be iron so dull and dusty that 'teens who witness it will get so bored and so filled with jakking fatigue that they will immediately quit using the sharty and other soysphere websites. In order for such an event to take place, one of two things most occur. Either the current owner will witness it and decide that soyjaks are a lame and tired out meme and delete the sharty, or more than 41% of the site's users must see it and drop PPH levels to levels that have never been seen before.

The coal that saved the Party

The coal that saved the Party is coal is so distasteful to Soyteens that the quality of the site reaches an all time high. It is not exactly known how this brimstone saved the Sharty, but it could have been something so horrendous that it made all users of the site agree to only posting high quality gems to counter its effects, thus causing the site to be finally enjoyable again.

The marge that confused the Party

The marge that confused the Party refers to any abstracta and/or abstract object that creates so much confusion that the entirety of the users of soyjak.party agree universally that this abstracta is indefinitely a creator of confusion and or produces confusion as on par with the properties of the abstracta, therefore creating a process which creates the Marge effect.

The glowstone that killed the Party

The glowstone that killed the Party refers to any federal operation to shut down Soyjak Party. This may be caused by the occurrence of multiple major hacks of similar scale to the Great Cuckset or doxes and hijackings of major celebrities. However, it is unlikely the party would completely be killed, even under these circumstances. Jannies would rush to sanitize the site to avoid the domain being siezed and their IP’s being leaked.

The glowstone that saved the Party

The glowstone that saved the party refers to an optimistic but highly unlikely scenario in which the FBI collaborates with the Party to identify felons. This would cause the site to be known as a chaotic force of minor inconveniences and justice alike. After each major conviction, the glowies would give cryptocurrency to those who helped most. Considering that we do it for free, such an incentive would increase PPH on /raid/ to all-time highs. ‘Teens would be more motivated than ever to conduct gemerald operations, and the Party might just be saved.

The dust that is the eternal fate of the Party

The dust that is the eternal fate of the Party is the existential horror of entropy. It is the truth that all of existence will eventually spill into the ever-expanding void. At the limit of the future, nothing will ever happen. What is the conclusion of this thought? Whatever you make it out to be.

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