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Walkable city
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>DRIVABLE. SUBURBS. NOW!
>WALKABLE. APARTMENTS. NOW!
Walkable cities are (((Jewish))).
Walkable cities, also known as leakable clitties, are cities designed for walking rather than driving. It's an idea pushed by a relatively new form of soyim called Urbanists, whose main goal in life is to BTFO the heckin' American imperialists who partake in suburban lifesyle. Their most well-known "organization" and breeding ground is a single Youtube channel called Notjustbikes, but most of them can be found hanging around internet comment sections, larping as Europeans who are shocked at how car-centered American cities are.
Although it is true that being forced to drive everywhere with no fast alternative in urban environments is kind of shitty, what the 14 year old ESL driver's license-less children who comprise 95% of urbanists fail to recognize is that America's car-centric environment was naturally and collectively created by white people to get away from Africans and other minorities, and that most white people would prefer driving in a traffic jam alone in their air-conditioned cars than having to sit next to a smelly brownoid on a train or something.
Another thing urbanists don't recognize is how spread out and low-density most American cities already are. Even if you built a bunch of public housing developments towards the downtown, most people live on private HOA developments on square-mile blocks, with the streets within the developments being all curly with cul-de-sacs and whatnot and not on a grid-pattern where it'd be easier to rezone detached houses into apartment buildings. This makes it basically impossible to replace suburban developments into something heckin' walkable (assuming you were able to buy off people's houses for redevelopment anyways which probably isn't gonna happen without 67 thrembillion lawsuits). There are many cases of American cities, such as Denver, that spent billions creating metro lines into suburbs but no one uses them because most people would have to drive to them from the middle of their housing developments anyways unless they wanna walk for 40 minutes in the snow, also Denver's road system is high-capacity enough to where cars are usually faster than trains and walking anyways.
Europe and Japan also have a shit ton of highways and most of their citizens also don't live within 15 minutes walking distance of a train station, further proving the urbanist larp.
You WILL live in apartments. You WILL pay rent. You WILL ride the bus with obese drug addicts. You WILL ride the bike. You will NOT have fun running people over with your car. You will NOT have a nice lawn. You will NOT have privacy.
The Notjustbikes copypasta[edit | edit source]
>Stroads are Ugly, Expensive, and Dangerous (and they're everywhere)
>Why City Design is Important (and Why I Hate Houston)
>Why Dutch Bikes are Better (and why you should want one)
>Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia
>These Stupid Trucks are Literally Killing Us
>Why American Cities Are Broke - The Growth Ponzi Scheme
>We Have No Garbage Day in Amsterdam!
>Why Canadians Can't Bike in the Winter (but Finnish people can)
>The Houses that Can't be Built in America - The Missing Middle
>Amsterdam Just Got Awesomer
>The Dumbest Excuse for Bad Cities
>Suburbs that don't Suck - Streetcar Suburbs (Riverdale, Toronto)
>Cities Aren't Loud: Cars Are Loud
>Why Swiss Trains are the Best in Europe
>The Best Country in the World for Drivers
>How Bankrupt American Cities Stay Alive - Debt
>The Lively & Liveable Neighbourhoods that are Illegal in Most of North America
>The Wrong Way to Set Speed Limits
>America Always Gets This Wrong (when building transit)
An analysis of the urbanist mindset[edit | edit source]
The thing about walkable city enthusiasts is that the problem they bring up is not entirely made up.[1] Mutt cities really are shit and having to drive 60+ minutes a day just to go to work is niggerhell. However, what the urbanist does not understand is that the reason people prefer to live in suburban homes is so that they can get away from niggers. Walkable European cities have existed for centuries, but were only possible because of a lack of niggers ruining it; therefore, the only logical praxis to urbanism is to first enact TND.
Also every city is walkable, just use your legs. (You fucking obese nigger)
Urbanist lunacy[edit | edit source]
- >SPLATOON IS MY IDEAL SOCIETY
- >WHY IS THERE AN AMBULANCE IN A BIKE LANE????
- >Isekai tranime slop is actually a commentary on pedestrian genocide committed by carbrains.
- >I can't drive because I have crippling anxiety.
- >viewing statistics about crime is racist even though its true.
- >redditor sees a old person and takes a picture in anger. The replies are even more funny
Things to do in a walkable city[edit | edit source]
- Never leave, because the train won't go anywhere that isn't a super urban city, and since you have no car, you're gonna be fucked if you need to leave the city to see someone else.
- Carry your fridge and washer dryer set onto the public city bus while you move into your $7800/month duplex.
- Raise your children in a 6ft metal coffin apartment where they will have no backyard, barely any playgrounds, no privacy and not enough room for them to happily live.
- Live with constant pollution and a decreased lifespan compared to people in suburbs or country places.
- Don't even think about family gatherings.
- Deal with whiney millennials every fucking day protesting at your local McDonalds and have to wait 80 hours for them to stop so you can order basic fucking food.
- Have your children on different sections of the bus based on their genders because of pedophiles on trains. Not seeing your child on the other side of a train alone full of strangers is good parenting.
- Pay more for everything than if you were in the country and be constantly in debt.
- Have rat infestations and animal infestations every day.
- Have your phone monitored by Klaus Schwab and have 1 million spy cameras in your apartment and your kid's bedroom.
- Live with gangsters who have been allowed into the city by redditors.
- Never be able to own a house and have to rent an apartment. You WILL not own the place you live in.
- Throw rocks at traintracks and watch the train crash. GEGGGGGG
- Only eat ultra-processed food.
- If you see a troon then don't be afraid to rob them. They can't call their parents to tell because their parents don't love them enough to care, and they all hate the police and won't call them (meds they're hypocrites so they'll do it anyway).
- Do drugs. But not the LE BAD drugs such as Alcohol and Heroin, do drugs such as Mushrooms and Marijuana because according to science they're actually... LE HEALTHY? YES! And doing those drugs will bring absolutely 0 ill side-effects despite what the evil science-denying bible-toting boomer chuds keep saying. You VILL be intoxicated 24/7. You VILL live an unfulfilling life through a warped sense of reality brought by the hallucinogenic properties of the LE GOOD drugs, you VILL buy more and the vicious cycle VILL continue. You VILL be happy.
- Kill yourself or move somewhere else.
What not to do in a walkable city/what to bring[edit | edit source]
- With the stench of the large minorities and immigrants, pollution and fat people, it's recommended to wear a mask for protection.
- Don't talk to the 700 black people who are around you at all times. They are all druggies and will either try to sell you something or rob you in the street.
- Do not eat the ultraprocessed food, you'll become fat.
- Do not exercise. The millennials in the city will call the cops on you and kill your family.
- If a black person is trying to rob you, let them. Otherwise you'll be arrested for being a racist bigot.
- Remember to stock up on money. In cities everything is 10x more expensive.
- Make sure to take the vaccine or you'll be arrested for being a chud.
- If you're being robbed, remember that the police can't get to you, as they can only ride bikes and run because cars are banned. Make sure to bring a weapon.
How to leave a walkable city[edit | edit source]
If you are planning on leaving a walkable city you need to know 3 things. First off, the train only takes you to more walkable cities, so unless you plan on walking for 18 miles to finally escape to the countryside, you're fucked. Also make sure to You should not leave a walkable city because it is a utopia and is the new sustainable future of the world. It's time to go back to your coffin pod home and enjoy your ultra processed bug burger.
See also[edit | edit source]
Snopes
- ↑ Those this means these soys are right? OH MY HECKING SCIENCE, WHAT A PLOT-TWIST!!
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