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Copium

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Everything written here is not medical advice.
A standard tank full of copium gas

Copium is a highly addictive, medical substance available in different forms. Its main purpose is to help its user cope after not getting their way, such as losing a soyduel, participating in a failraid, losing an argument online, getting baited, etc. It is usually stored in pressurized tanks and pumped into the user's lungs via a tube and mask. It's often used by frogs, jannies, fags, troons, soyboys, and other freaks, but may also be used by you or anyone else.

Copium currently does not require a prescription and is available for purchase at your local pharmacy. However, please consult with Dr. Soyberg,[he's dead] Dr. Gigachad, Dr. Sprokeberg, or your own doctor before taking any dosage of copium, and certainly avoid street copium, which may be laced with weed, fentanyl, or fecal matter.

Origins[edit | edit source]

The first ever mention of copium was posted on 4cuck's /co/ on September 20, 2012.[1] However, the term wouldn't gain popularity until 2018, when a Bulgarian posted it on /int/ on March 30, 2018.[2] Thereafter, it gained popularity within the site and remains a common phrase on 4cuck. The first person to ever be hooked on copium was Pepe.[3] After gaining popularity on 4cuck, the phrase began to appear on other sites as well.

Copium today is mainly used during political shitflinging on Twitter. The original image has been editraped to death, and many individuals have been observed to be hooked up to the addictive gas, including:

Variants[edit | edit source]

Copium[edit | edit source]

This is what you vill look like if you continuously abuse copium

Copium is the standard variant, made from carbon, opium, with trace amounts of ruby and coal dust, and is catalyzed from ████████. Copium is usually inhaled using a CPAP tube and mask. An over-the-counter pill version is also available but is not as effective as the pure gas; however, it is much cheaper. Development of a cream variant to be applied to the anus to soothe immense butthurt is ongoing.

The effects of copium vary from person to person. Common unintended side-effects include delusions, denial, selective memory loss, hallucinations, cope spirals, leaking, keyboard smashing, spam, an inability to accept defeat, and an uncontrollable rage. Continued abuse of copium may result in schizophrenia, terminal seething, high blood pressure, cancer, and, in extreme cases, an incurable desire to spam antimatter and death.

Treatment of copium addiction is only possible by a long-period admission into an Asoylum and rehab period. Avoiding bait and other triggers is a must to avoid relapses. During this time, it is recommended to disconnect from the internet, preferably forever.

Hopium[edit | edit source]

A distinct variant of copium, known as hopium, is made from a mixture of lithium and iron, and with a trace amount of gemerald, ███, and topaz dust, making it expensive. It floods the user's mind with feelings of optimism and calm, even when faced with a situation with little to no chance of improving. Addiction to hopium may result in minor delusions.

There are reports of natural hopium synthesis among Half-Life fans.[it just is, ok?snopes?it just is, ok?how???whatbut... why?]

History[edit | edit source]

>Soyberg-priced copium at $499.99 per tank

Copium was first discovered in July 2019 by Dr. Soyberg when he was experimenting in his lab to create a new drug to help people cope. After many attempts at synthesizing the drug, Dr. Soyberg would eventually get the first form of refined copium after mixing carbon and opium with ruby and coal dust using an unknown catalyst.[a] The result was an odorless, foggy gas. Dr. Soyberg would immediately acquire the patent to the drug and entrust Pepe the Frog with the study of its effects, and later on would sell the production rights to Klaus Schwab and the WHO, for them to mass produce and provide to the masses. At his insistence, it was priced at $499.99.

Usage of copium by its target audience

The release of copium was a success, with billions of people flocking to get their hands on some. Even world leaders such as Putin, Trump, and Xi Jinping are known users, and images of them hooked onto the tank are commonly seen on the internet.[b] Because of its great success, prices increased, causing a shortage of copium and leading many to seethe and leak. This was a bad time, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic was ongoing, and everyone was trying to cope. Klaus Schwab would reach out to Dr. Soyberg again to find a better formula that would be easier to mass produce. Soon, Dr. Soyberg would refine his formula by substituting expensive ruby dust for brimstone, which was acceptable for Big Pharma, and the new product would be shipped to supermarkets and pharmacies. Although there was plenty of new copium supply, it had a short high, causing users to panic buy more in order to continue coping, causing even more shortages. The brimstone also reportedly had some nasty side effects.

After Dr. Soyberg's death, the patent was taken over in 2021 by an Israeli pharma company. (((They))) altered the formula even further, adding in antidepressant chemicals and reducing carbon content. They also upped the price to $999.99, citing inflation.

After the situation in the Asoylum returned to normal and the pandemic ended, Dr. Gigachad, in cooperation with the Party, invented an alternative to copium known as hopium sometime in 2022 or 2023. The drug was synthesized successfully after mixing iron, lithium, a trace mixture of gemerald and topaz dust, and a third, secret element.

A great shortage of copium occurred again in 2024 during the Great Cuckset, with 4cuck users using up all supply in a two-week period. Many ODs were reported.[how many?][it just is, ok?snopes?it just is, ok?how???whatbut... why?]

Peer-reviewed studies reveal that Sharty raids directly correlate with an increase in copium sales. Failraids also correlate with an increase in 'teen copium usage.

Notes

  1. Information regarding the catalyst was found burnt during the Great Insurrection of 2020.
  2. Some of these images have expired copium that predate Dr. Soyberg's discovery date, but such images are antisemitic and were fact-checked by Snopes to be ineffective, placebo-like variants not related to actual copium.

Snopes

Copium
is part of a series on
Mental health
>NOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT WANNA TAKE MY MEDS!
Illnesses and Conditions [-+]
Treatments [-+]

BBC therapyCopiumDoctor's orders ♦ Eating the Bugs ♦ Finding Jesus ChristLandscape TherapyMeditationMedsMental AsylumSleepSoyicide