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Asoylum

The Asoylum was a mental health institution known for its extensive secrecy and containment of dangerous Soyjaks. It employed several renowned medical professionals, some more notable individuals being Dr. Gigachad, Dr. Sprokeberg, and the controversial Dr. Soystein. It was the site of the great insurrection of 2020, in which Dr. Soyberg was killed by a cannibalistic Israeli Soyjak. Since then it has been far less active, focusing mostly on the containment of its specimens and less so on general medical research, though it still performs a wide variety of tests and studies on its patients. It is also known for its high-profile patients such as Feraljak, Rapeson, and even its own staff such as Dr. Soyowad. It is best known for its wide coverage of Soyentific fields, possible government funding, and controversial methods of treating patients.
The asylum plays an important role in the Impjak Adventure comic and is the setting of the genre-redefining indie hit game Five Nights at Cobson's.
Location and facilities[edit | edit source]


The exact location of the asylum is unknown, though it is known to be in America. It is most likely. In the Impjak Adventure comic, it is shown to be located in Petrified Forest National Park, where it's hidden safely underground. In the comic, the asylum is known to house patient wards, offices, a medical wing, laboratories, sewers, and an administrative centre. In addition to holding the seat of the Head Doctor, the administrative centre also houses videolink equipment for off-site communication. Given the large spread and general scale of its patients and research, it is thought to span at least 10 kilometers in area, and have multiple levels and security clearance tiers. Other theories suggest it is located somewhere in Nevada, New Mexico, or Texas. Some theories also suggest that it is not one facility, but multiple corresponding facilities that fall under one codename. It was thought to be the center of all soy research and Soyence, giving us the majority of the information we now have about various strange soy-forms we know of today, such as fingerboys. They were also the first to invent schizophrenia[it just is, ok?] and diagnose a patient with it, that patient being Feraljak.
Many false flags have been run by the U.S. government in an attempt to disprove the Asoylum's existence and activities. This was widely unsuccessful due to the popularity of FNAC, which made the Asoylum a part of Soy Culture and virtually impossible to erase from people's minds.
The 2020 insurrection[edit | edit source]
In october 2020, a great insurrection broke out among the asylum inmates. The incident has also been referred to as "the schizo rampage",[1] "the asylum uprising"[2] and "The Power Blackouts of 2020".[3] Recent studies suggest that this meltdown was set into motion when a "snekposter" began mocking another poster's Schizophrenia on a /qa/ Thread.[4][5] Sadly, none of the threads in which the events unfolded have been archived, but there are a few index/catalog snapshots that allow us to create a basic picture of the incident:
2020-10-14 - Reports of inmates rampaging. Dr. Soyberg reported dead.[6]
2020-10-25 - After an ensuing power struggle between Dr. Gigachad and Dr. Soystein, Dr. Gigachad is appointed as the Head Psychiatrist.[7]
2020-10-27 - Amidst continuing violence, Dr. Soystein is seen killing the inmate who killed Dr. Soyberg.[8]
2020-11-15 - With the riots still uncontained, martial law is declared, and the military is sent in to restore order and to ████ ██████, accounting for most casualties.[9]
Staff[edit | edit source]

The following people are known to have worked in the asylum:
- Dr. Gigachad
- Dr. Soyowad (later became a patient and escapee)
- Dr. Soyberg (formerly, was killed on duty)
- Dr. Soyer
- Dr. Sprokeberg (allegedly; better known as independent ear surgeon and Sproke promoter)
- Dr. Soyowicz (later became a patient)
- Dr. Soyswedeson
- Dr. Soystein
- Dr. Hugo Swede
- Swolesome Soyjak (orderly)
- Soy Cashier Trio (patient orderlies, later escaped)
- Dr. Soyinivovich
- Aaron Cob (Guard)
- Barney "Fag" Calthoughn (Guard)
Patients[edit | edit source]
List of some notable patients from the asylum:
| ID | Name | Threat level |
|---|---|---|
| 082 | ??? | Karnivore |
| 1940-1960 | ??? | Low |
| 029 | Billowing Soylent Monster | Extremely Violent And Sentient, Contagious Disease Spreader |
| 0999 | Doctor. Phd Jacob Jordan Soyowad | 9999999999% |
| 5202 | Dr. Soyowicz | High |
| ??? | Gigachad | ??? |
| 1913 | Hacker Soy | Physically low, but may be able to cause damage to computer infrastructure. |
| 4221 | Hades | Somewhat Threatening, Easily Contained |
| 1987 | Markiplier Soyjak | Extremely Low |
| 11246 | Soy Posting Schizo | Dangerous When Alone |
| 096 | ??? | Dangerous But Not Sentient |
| 106 | The Soyman | Dangerous But Slow |
| 1020 | The Wall of Soy | Critical |
| 08 | ??? | Very High |
| 96647-CC-OR-7 | Tuco Pacifica Ramirez y Garcia, Ean MacPadraic, and Richard "Dick" Baker | Low (High If Provoked) |
| 6959 | ??? | World Ending |
| 2985 | ??? | Weak, Easily Contained |
| 616 (Patient) | Melt | Dangerous But Slow |
| 2038 | Rapeson | Extreme. Has managed to escape the facility twice in 2018 and 2025. |
| 1448 | Bubba Hernandez | Somewhat Threatening, Easily Contained |
| 207 (Patient) | ??? | High
Continued. In addition to these high-profile patients, many other soyjaks have been civilly committed to the asylum or captured by the Soy Contain Protect program. Peer-reviewed citations[edit | edit source] |
| 300 (Patient) | ??? | Ϫ level |
| 666 | DEVIL. ţ̸̢̻̳͉͇̞͙̪̙͉̠̬̹͝ͅä̴̛̞̥́̅̿̑͗̒͛͊́̄͛̍́̄̀̈́́̍́͆̆́͘͠k̷̡̢̨̛̖̻̱̥̟̞̗̟̜̖̹̦̳͉̤͍̮͉̤͚̱͍̇̋̐̈̃͒̐̈͂̏̈́͜ͅͅȩ̴̡̧̲̜͈͍̭̹͇̩̣͕͔̩̝̗͉͔̥̣̥͔͓̪͓͖̯͆͂̿͊̾̍͗̋͒̓͗͛̊̀̑̀̊̍̈̕̕͜͠ͅͅͅ ̵̧̝̲̖̬͉̼͎̺͖̙̥̬̟͉͍̼̹̻͍̬̀̋̋̾̈́̒̾̈́̏̽͊͗̂̅͗͂͒̉̈́̏̀͊͑́̅̈̈́̑̃́̿̀̓̕̕͜ý̵̧̧̨̛̩̲͙̺̲̥̰̯̮̘̣̟̯͓̬̠̮̠̲̹̪̻̼̩͎̼̼͖̟͇̣̻͓̣͉̭̮̙͐̀̊̉̀̾̊͊̄͌̾̎͐̈́͑͒̔͌̾̐̀͛̕͘͜͝͝ͅͅͅơ̷̜̺̥̠̘̭̣̯͉͇͑̈́̈́̓̀͗̿̉̔̔̔̎̆̇̀̆͂͆͋̿̔̍́̈́̿͗͗̀̈́̀̄̍̆͊͌̐̄̚͘͘͠͝͝͝͝ŭ̸̢̨͙̗̫͎̠̪̹͎̗̙͓̞͍͎͓̤̟̰̎̐̎̈̀͋̂̿̔́̇́̋͂̉̂͑̌̃͌̚̚̚͝͝ȑ̵̊̾̎̓͊̅͛̄̀̑̀̽̾̊̇̌͒̀̒͒͒͗͐͐͘̚̕͜ ̸̢̳̳̰̙͉̣̺̮̙̬̦̺̉͊͑͋̔̌̈́̚͜͝m̵̧̢͍̻͕̦̜̗̪̙̜̺̠̙̂̊̈́̒̾̈́̄̒̎̚̕͜e̷̢̢̨̧̪̺̙̰̱̹̙͔͈̲͂̈̿̀̀d̴̡̨̧̨̛̝̰̻̗̦̪͍̲̲̭̤̻͍̲̬̟̤̝̤̖̞͚̲̬̝̺̦͈̹͐̋̋̈́̋̒́̃̈́̑̋̔̽͒͛́̋͐̏͂͆͊͊̀̈͒͘͜͜͠͝͠s̴̨̢̨͇͚̲̟̠͍͍̺̱̙͔̖̺̦̪̟̮̯̄́͋̇͒͌̈̆̈́̏̽̋̄̚͜͝͝ͅ.̷̨̧̡̛͎͚̻̼͉̰̺̥͙͇̥̮̝̟͔̳̝̟̮̘̻̫̇̒̈̀̑͂̀͋͂͑̓̋͂̐́͆͂͒̃́̎͂͊̀͂̾̍͌̌͋̈͛̀̑̄̾̉͐͊̂̍͂͛̽̕͘͘͘͠ | 9̵̧̛̛͈̫̰̣͔̖̰̭̟̠̗̎͗̓̈͆͝ͅ9̵̨̧̛̛͇̤̲͇̜͎̲̥̱̭͓͕͇̣̳̦̟͚̻̞͖͕͍̘̥̩̥̖̠̑͑̀̓̇͋̆͌̎̆̑̽̌̄̿̀̈́̐̄̑͑̂͋̀͘͜͝͠͝9̸̧̢̛̯͍͖̭̤̻͔̻̪̖̮̱̟̯͚̱̬̓̄̅̑͑̈̂͌̑́̎̆́̊̏̽̀̊̈́̍̒̎̅͑̈̎̂͐̿̓̕̕͝͝͝ͅͅ |
Snopes
- ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201014230147/soyjak.party/soy/index.htmlDead link! - ↑ https://archive.today/9K8ZB
- ↑ https://archive.today/SJnbl
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3546505/
- ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201014230341/https://soyjak.party/soy/catalog.html#53Dead link! - ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201014230147/soyjak.party/soy/index.htmlDead link! - ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201027083142/https://soyjak.party/soy/res/7010.htmlDead link! - ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201027082823/soyjak.party/soy/index.htmlDead link! - ↑
https://web.archive.org/web/20201115143530/https://soyjak.party/soy/catalog.htmlDead link!
| Asoylum is part of a series on Mental health |
Illnesses and Conditions [+]
Schizophrenia ♦ ADHD ♦ Autism ♦ Bipolar disorder ♦ Chud-to-tranny ♦ Dementia ♦ Dissociative Identity Disorder ♦ Dysphoria (Oldfag / Gender) ♦ Dyslexia ♦ Epilepsy ♦ Homosexuality ♦ Self-insert syndrome ♦ Märgerautismus Syndrome ♦ Derangement syndrome (Discord ♦ Froot ♦ Sharty ♦ Things I like ♦ Woman ♦ Zoomer) ♦ Ban everything I dislike Mentality ♦ Insanity ♦ Involuntary Celibacy ♦ Hallucinations ♦ Soyphilia ♦ Tulpas ♦ Sproking out ♦ Psychopathy ♦ Paranoia ♦ Shadow People ♦ Pedophilia ♦ Schizophrenia ♦ 'Jakking Fatigue ♦ Profound mental retardation ♦ Sharty Fixation Syndrome ♦ Zoophilia |
|---|---|
|
Treatments [+]
BBC therapy ♦ Copium ♦ Meds ♦ Doctor's orders ♦ Eating the Bugs ♦ Finding Jesus Christ ♦ Landscape Therapy ♦ Meditation ♦ Mental Asylum ♦ Sleep ♦ Soyicide |