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Lolcow
>everyone I don't like is a 'cow or something
>Nigger.
Lolcow (or 'cow in soyspeak) is a term used to describe individuals who showcase unusual and detrimental behavior to their own selves and/or the community they inhabit. They are usually massive attention whores who can never just turn off the computer.
Lolcows tend to have cults of personality surrounding them, where instead of worshipping the person, the cult members seem to worship the idea of making fun of the lolcow.
Etymology[edit | edit source]
People who are considered lolcows have existed since the dawn of the internet and may be confined to small secluded communities or gain popularity among the broader internet. The term itself has been popularised by sites like KiwiFarms and Encyclopedia Dramatica, who document information on these individuals. The name refers to the idea of an individual who can be "milked for laughs",[1] which emphasizes how many of these people are unintentionally funny for their antics, albeit depending on the individual, a lolcow might cause clitty leakage and outrage onto onlookers.
On the Soysphere[edit | edit source]
With a community as vast and diverse as the Soysphere, it was clear that a few lolcows would eventually make their presence known. However with how eccentric the Soysphere is and with its overall focus on irony and humor, the line is blurry between who is a considered lolcow and who isn't, often depending on personal opinion of each user. Often times, to be universally considered part of the kekcattle, one needs to display traits that are disliked by everyone, such as going against sharty culture or trying to force troonslop. Namefags make up the majority of the lolcows in the 'sphere, specially on SoyBooru, but even the most controversial users like Warrior-Z have some supporters. All Jannies are also considered to be lolcows. Admins can also be made into lolcows (eg. Sootbaiting). To cement the status as a true cow, one needs to convince others that he/she is not trying to bait, which is a difficult feat by itself.
There are only two people related to the Soysphere who may truly be considered lolcows:
- Lee Goldson, however, since his antics began and finished even before the sharty was founded, this consideration may be, at best, dubious.
- And Dollfucker, who was discovered by the Sharty during the peak of his activities and saw his antics through until he ACKED. He was aware of his gegbull status on the Sharty and he is a very recent example of a gegbull, however, he was an Incels.is user, meaning his status as an exclusively Sharty lolcow is also dubious.
Gegbull[edit | edit source]
Gegbull is a Soysphere exclusive term to refer to lolcows. It was coined a way to differentiate the sharty from other communities and bring the vocabulary closer to soy culture, evidenced by incorporating the term geg which was already used to replace kek. Replacing the "cow" in the name with "bull" is merely a form of oppositefagging, albeit most lolcows are already males either way. The new lingo defeats the purpose of the original term since unlike cows, bulls cannot be milked, but it lead some to make various jokes related to cum in the place of milk. Gegbvll is also often written with the v in place of the u since this already a common trope in soyspeak, such as in trvthnvke.
Milked Dry[edit | edit source]
A lolcow is considered to be "milked dry" when they are no longer funny and can no longer be milked for lulz. This can happen for a number of reasons:
- They kept doing the same thing until it got old.
- They realized that they could solve all of their problems by just turning off the damn computer
- They kept using the internet but they decided to start being normal
- Someone else did something way more embarrassing and all of the lolcow's followers flocked to the new cow
- They got arrested for having 'P on their hard drive and they can't be milked from jail.
You'd think a lolcow would be relieved to no longer be one, but they often miss the attention and try to find a new bit.
7 Levels of Internet Downfall[edit | edit source]
A SlopTuber called "Internet Anarchist" created a video called "The 7 Levels of YouTube Downfall", which is pretty good at explaining how gegbulls are made. The video breaks down gegbulls into 7 levels, with the higher levels being more hated and a result bigger gegbulls.
Level 1: Minor Controversy[edit | edit source]
The person gets into a controversy that he/she quickly responds to, and the controversy is quickly memory holed after the fact. People on this level are usually not considered gegbulls yet.
Most popular, well-liked e-celebs are on this level or the next one.
Level 2: Dent to Reputation[edit | edit source]
A more severe stage of Level 1 in that the person has to go into damage control and his/her reputation takes longer to recover. The controversy escapes the memory hole and the person's reputation takes a noticeable hit. Some gegbulls are born at this level, but they are usually not hated enough to be notable.
A notable person on this level is PewDiePie, who is hated by trannies for saying the heckin' unwholesome nigger word and being antisemitic🗝️, and by pajeets for his beef with T-Series.
Level 3: Drama & Exposure[edit | edit source]
The controversy ends up permanently damaging the person's reputation and his/her name becomes permanently attached to said controversy as a result; THOUGHever a lot of his/her fanbase stays. This is when the person's gegbull qualities start becoming apparent.
Logan and Jake Paul and Verbalase are on this level.
Level 4: Complete Collapse of Credibility[edit | edit source]
The person is a drama magnet and fails to account any responsibility; resulting in his/her reputation being slowly flushed down the Skibidi Toilet. Usually when a person reaches this level, his/her transition into a gegbull is complete.
Most seasoned gegbulls are on this level, such as Nikocado Avocado (before the heckin' redemption arc), iDubbbz, DarkSydePhil, Boogie2988 and Pirate Software.
Level 5: Careers Destroyed[edit | edit source]
The person faces severe, undeniable allegations of jartycuck behavior that completely destroys any reputation the person has, and any attempt he/she does at responding to the allegations only results in further outrage. As a "final solution", people on this level commonly delete every single post and/or online account he/she has (a phenomenon called "delete fucking everything" or "DFE") and/or disappear from the internet entirely. Starting from this level, it is pretty safe to say that there is no turning back.
Most online users who have faced undeniable grooming allegations are on this level, such as Giggly Goonclown, CeceFem, Major Cloog, Chris Tyson and SNCA Minecraft/Roblox pedophiles.
Level 6: Deplatforming[edit | edit source]
The person does something so fucked up his/her online account(s) get banned. A lot of people on this level will do literally anything to get attention, even stuff that would get them banned.
Parlo, EDP445 and most failtrolls that post illegal content are on this level.
Level 7: Life Ruined[edit | edit source]
The ultimate level. The person does a crime and he/she goes to jail as a result. His/her life is literally ruined, hence the title.
Chris Chan, Shadman, Johnny Somali and Vitaly are on this level.
Snopes
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