Nophono

Why yes, Nophono is a gigachad.
How could you tell?

The original

Nophono is a term used to describe a piece of boring media, content, or an otherwise obscure interest. The various kinds of nophono are listed in a book titled shit nophono cares fan about, whose author is currently unknown. The reason nophono and things related to it are often misspelled is because gigas are ESL. The word "nophono" is also sometimes used in lieu of "nobody" by soyteens. Since it refers to "nobody", it can also refer to literal who.

Since October 1, 2025, Nophono is one of the many rollable names on soyjak.party.

Examples

• Vexillology
• Coin collecting
• World War 2 in Europe
• Sabaton
• Human anatomy
• Training a dog
• 1984 by George Orwell
• Europa Universalis IV
• Vsauce
• Vaporwave aesthetic

Other media related to nophono

Click the gif thumbnails to view them at high resolution.

Shit nobaldi cares abot

This is from a Grand Theft Auto V mod called "Gigas vs Giggers" where you play as gigachad inside the giga universe. In this mod, there is a mission titled shit nobaldi cares abot where gigachad gets involved in a street firefight with some giggers. Some people may associate this with Baldi's Basics evandoe gigas don't like autistic media.

Shit everyboldy cares aboud

When Big Nophono wanted to expand past the few gigas that liked nophono, they introduced shit everyboldy cares aboud. Lots of gigas read this book and even non-gigas have taken an interest in it.

Skit everybadi cares abak

As everyboldy got more popular, it eventually managed to reach news coverage. A giga was reporting on the new limited edition skit everybadi cares abak book on bibisi news, but because the everyboldy media got so popular with non-gigas, they all rushed to steal his copy of the book

Shit nobody cares about

Some giga managed to learn English enough to produce a book with the title spelt correctly. This was an attempt to polish nophono to target a wider audience but notably failed.

Shit nobly cars arud

A giga named Nobly carried out a plane attack alongside a gigapartner on the Seattle Space Needle, killing a thrembillion people. As of October 19, 2025, Nobly's whereabouts are unknown.

Shit noubcadi ak corus

Not much is known about Noubcadi, other than that he can produce floating bushes from thin air. By far one of the most ESL versions, as "ak corus" doesn't even sound vaguely similar to "cares about".

Noiphono

A phone brand that uses soyjaks in their ads. Big Nophono and Noiphono are going to have a lawsuit soon.

baited nobeıdore award

Nobaldi grants Nophono an hourglass shaped gem trophy for successfully managing to bait nobeıdore, a feat many thought would be impossible. Science backed by Fauci and Snopes reveals that nobeıdore is a subspecies of the Gigafish, found in many freshwater habitats, notorious for being impossible to bait.

Shit ofags oilffags care care

An oldgiga gets interviewed about olfag culture and then quickly goes anonymous.

Ghit Dellino cares aubod

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shit everyphey cares about

In an attempt to shed off his gegbvll reputation, Lee Goldson started exercising and got into writing books. His latest work was supposed to be shit everypony cares about, but he had cheese on his fingers while writing the title.

Origin

Nophono would originally get forced by a Portuguese poster (not The Portuguese) on /pol/ as a reaction image under every single thread. It would later catch on with other people spamming it and soon spread to other boards like /soy/ and /qa/. Since then, it has become a staple in everyboldy's soytionary.

See also

• Shit nobody cares about

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Nophono

This page is being censored This page has been subject to a censorship campaign. Read every revision in the page's history to learn the truth.

Nophono is a disturbing criminal Some actions taken by this individual are not in accordance with the law. They should not be replicated nor condoned.

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds.

Nophono

Nophono is a mysterious entity best known for caring about and being a fan of many extremely obscure things. First spotted in /x/, the concept of Nophono first surfaced around summer 2025, when a gigachad was spotted reading a book titled shit nophono cares fan about. This event introduced the entity to the public eye and prompted an investigation into its identity. The gigachad was promptly taken into custody, but as of writing this article refuses to comment on the book or cooperate with the authorities.

Investigators are still working to figure out who Nophono is and why an entire book would be written about shit he cares fan about. Current theories indicate that Nophono is a faceless, extremely tall creature vaguely resembling a gigachad which gains in strength by learning about shit not a single other person cares fan about. It wears a cheap bright blue suit and attacks using long, shadowy tendrils (just like hecking slenderman). Nophono's lack of any facial attributes means the entity cannot speak, which is most likely where its name originates from (no-phono meaning no-sound).

Recent reports have also suggested that shit nophono cares fan about was written by a sect of gigachads who took a liking to the entity and wanted to learn about the kinds of shit nophono cares fan about. However, they don't seem to have realized they are inadvertedly hurting the entity, because for Nophono to get more powerful, the shit it cares fan about cannot be shit anybody else is interested in. This is suspected to be the reason behind the recent attacks on gigachads by Nophono, shown in the gallery below.

Current protocols aim at preventing the rise of any groups who would want to support Nophono by publicly framing its name as a term used to describe boring shit, which would make it uninteresting to learn about for onlookers. In addition, recent strategies have involved replacing mentions of shit nophono might possibly care fan about with shit at least a few other people care fan about, which would render them inconsumable for the entity. However, it would appear that the same gigachad sect from earlier is getting around this by discovering and developing media related to Nophono, which would give it attention by proxy without leaking the entity's true intentions. The most prominent examples are listed in the public section of this article.

It is unknown what would happen if Nophono ever reached its maximum power. However, such an event could very well bring about the end of the Sharty and possibly the entire world as a whole.

Relationship to Nobaldi

A new piece of media has been discovered by the gigachad sect which suggests a potential connection to another mysterious entity known as Nobaldi. Nobaldi appears to care abot a Grand Theft Auto mission from the mod Gigas vs Nigas. The mission is titled shit nobaldi cares abot and in it, the player takes control of Gigachad, who is involved in a street firefight. The reasons behind Nobaldi caring abot a random modded Grand Theft Auto mission are currently unknown.

shit Nophono cares fan about

The book is a large hardcover, estimated to be about 300 pages in length. While no complete copies of the book have been recovered, drone surveillance of Gigachad’s house has captured some of the book’s content. A motive for the book’s production has yet to be uncovered.

The real list of shit that Nophono cares about

• Typography of 1980s Australian government documents
• Ægyptian casualties during the Finno-Korean hyperwar
• Seychellois measurement system
• The chemical reactions that happen during 3D printing
• Playing the hydraulophone
• The location of the entrance to Agartha prior to the collapse
• Competitive cup stacking
• The list of make-up artists that worked on the original Star Wars trilogy
• Toki Pona syntax
• Traditional Turkic beliefs
• Types of wood used in toothpicks
• The study of different types of fencing (chain-link, wrought iron, split-rail)
• Assembly of a scanning electron microscope
• The Arm of Flesh by James Salter
• Anteater anatomy
• Structure of masonic lodges
• Shut Up And Dig speedrunning
• Economy of Vanuatu
• The IPv5 protocol
• The standardization of paper sizes
• Julius Evola's esoteric fascist literature
• Unix filenames
• The eccentric orbit of Mercury around the Sun
• The amount of heavy metal bands per capita in Yugoslavia

Gallery

• 
  The presumed appearance of Nobaldi
• 
  Gigachad calling Baldi, an affiliate of Nobaldi
• 
  What happens when Nophono finds a giga

Copypasta

Extended content

Who is Nophono? Who is Nophono? Nophono is a real person. He is a character and the subject of a well-known horror story spread online. The story of Nophono originates from a series of posts on the imageboard 4chan, specifically on the /x/ board (which is dedicated to paranormal and creepy content). The original posts, made by an anonymous user, claimed to have found a strange, never-released VHS tape from the 1980s. The core of the Nophono legend is this: the tape appears to be a low-budget, surreal children's show hosted by a terrifying, silent entity named Nophono. The show is bizarre and deeply unsettling, and the story claims that watching it has severe psychological effects, including paranoia, nightmares, and even physical illness. What Does Nophono Look Like? According to the story, Nophono's appearance is a key source of its horror. The description is intentionally vague but highly disturbing. Here are the common traits described: The Shape: Nophono is described as a tall, lanky, humanoid figure. He is extremely thin and elongated. The Face: This is the most horrifying part. He is said to have no facial features—no eyes, nose, or mouth. Just smooth, blank, flesh-colored skin where a face should be. This is a classic trait of many horror creatures (like the Slender Man or The Silence from Doctor Who) known as "blank face syndrome". The Suit: He is almost always described as wearing a cheap, ill-fitting, garishly bright suit. The most common color mentioned is a vibrant, electric blue. The suit adds to the creepy, anachronistic feel, reminiscent of bad public access television. The Behavior: He doesn't speak (hence the name "No-phono," meaning "no sound"). He just moves awkwardly and silently through a sparse, empty set, sometimes interacting with objects or puppets in a meaningless, repetitive way.

A firsthand account of Nophono

After rumors about the nophono tapes continued to spread on /soy/, a 'teen would recount a story of his experience with the nophono video.

Extended content

Hey, 'teens. I don't usually like to blogpost, but something really unsettling happened to me last night, and I'm still not sure what to make of it. Hopefully some of you might be able to tell me what's going on, or give me a rational explanation. Because right now, science fails to explain what I saw and heard. I'm sure all of you have heard the scary stories about Nophono: the eerily silent, faceless man in the haunted VHS tapes. And, like many of you, I wrote them off as just that: scary stories. But still, I always found the mystery intriguing. What is Nophono? Is he a ghost? What does he care about? I guess that's why, when I saw a catbox link labeled "NOPHONO_3.MP4" on the 'log at 4am, I clicked it. That was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Upon opening the file, I was greeted by what I would expect from a video purporting to be the "real" nophono tapes. At first, it was just the sound of static, accompanied by visuals that were so fuzzy I couldn't make out what they were supposed to be. I assumed it was an intro song, but I really couldn't tell. Then, it abruptly cut to Nophono, in his bright blue suit, staring at the viewer. Everything except his suit and tie was monochrome. He was in what appeared to be the set of a children's show, like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, but it was oddly sparse of furniture. There were exposed wooden rafters, as if it were filmed in someone's attic, and the only objects visible were the table in front of him and some puppets scattered around. After staying completely motionless for a time, Nophono glided silently through the set to the other side of the table, his feet not making a sound as he walked. The camera followed him, and he was shown to be standing in front of a rudimentary wooden doll with a bulbous head, green shirt, and red lips. Despite how smooth and graceful his walking was, the way that he handled the doll was clumsy and fumbling, like some kind of mentally challenged toddler. More than that, his manipulation of the doll didn't seem to be to any real purpose - he just kind of grabbed at its arms and dropped it, like he was struggling to keep it in his hands at all. Then he just went right back to staring at the camera. By this point, I was thoroughly unimpressed. This just seemed like some AI video someone had generated to try and be a spooky ARG, but it was so blatantly AI. The way Nophono just stood completely still before going into action, the way that his movements didn't seem to have any goal at all, the totally unnecessary camera movement to an unrelated scene... it had all the hallmarks of something sloppily put together on Pixiverse or something. So, I tried to skip forward in the video to see if there was anything actually interesting in it. But what happened next sent a chill down my spine. I couldn't skip forward. When I clicked ahead on the bar, the progress ticker didn't move. It stayed exactly where it was. Whenever I did, Nophono would change positions; in one scene, he would be holding a doll, in another, walking aimlessly around the room, in another, standing with his back facing the camera. But no matter how many times I skipped forward, the video didn't end. It was like it just went on forever. Panic started to take hold. How could that be possible? An infinite video? Even a video half this length would have taken hours to download, especially with the Sharty's shitty servers. So, overwhelmed, I just closed the video. Nothing happened. I was left staring at my screen, at the file still sitting on my computer, somehow only 22 MB despite the apparently immense length of the video. I tried inspecting the file, but got no more insight. I started to wonder if maybe the video was hacked, or it was an EXE disguised as a video file that was broadcasting something to my computer. Worried that might be the case, and that it might be a virus, I disconnected my PC from the internet. Then, out of curiosity, I opened up the file again. It was the same static opening as before, the same video of Nophono. But as I skipped ahead, a dawning horror arose in me: It was still that long. It still seemed infinite. I kept clicking, mindlessly, trying desperately to find the end, find any reason to believe it wasn't true. But no matter how many times I clicked, I couldn't. Finally, exhausted, I slumped back in my chair, spacing out. I couldn't make sense of what I was seeing. But before I could have a moment to process the situation, I noticed movement on the screen. Nophono, who had been sitting still facing the camera, was now walking to the back of the room, where a toybox shaped like a treasure chest lay. Out of it, he picked various dolls and figures, and, taking them in his arms, brought them back to the table, laying them out. I was intrigued by this new behavior, but then a pit sank in my stomach. One of the dolls looked exactly like me. It was my hair, the same shirt and pants I was wearing, the same shoes. I denied it at first. After all, it wasn't a brand shirt I was wearing - it was a completely generic one, and the chances that they could have just randomly happened to match weren't impossible. But the more I watched, the more my dread grew. This file was already unexplainable, and one more eerie thing happening just fed the fear in the back of my mind that Nophono was real, and this wasn't a joke. He clutched and fumbled at the toys for a while, in his usual fashion. No rhyme or reason - he would look down at them, then hold them up to the camera, then immediately drop them and grab the next one, only to lurch back and pick up the previous one as if he had forgotten to do something, but then just drop it again. But when he reached the one that looked like me, he paused, going completely rigid. Then he started singing. I can't say he really sang, because he didn't open his mouth. But it felt like he was singing. The sound blasted from my speakers, so clear that I'm still not sure whether it was really coming from my speakers at all. It was a soft, sentimental song, whimsical and nostalgic, with a slight fuzziness like it was an old recording. In any other situation, I may have even found it comforting. Even now, I remember it clear as day. It went like this: "There’s plenty of things that I love I just adore all there is to live for in this dear old world! I care for spring, I care to sing, I care about dogs, I care about frogs the goats and the pigs, and the cows that moo! But of all of these things all the gold and the rings Nophono cares fan about you Someday all the world, will know it’s really true That you’re so wonderful, yes you’re so beautiful And Nophono cares about you." I stared terrified as he held up the puppet, and his previously black and white surroundings filled with rich color, spreading like mold. I blinked, and the doll, once crude and rudimentary, now bore an even more striking resemblance to me, with delicate chiseling of its wooden face. I sat frozen in shock for a moment, a small choking sound coming up from my throat. Then, I shot up and immediately pressed the power button on my computer. I didn't care what this shit was, but I wanted to get it away. I wanted the last solace that I could have, that this wasn't paranormal, that I could escape it by shutting off my PC. My computer turned off without incident. I stood there for a while, not sure what to do, how to even handle this. I couldn't work up the nerve to turn it back on, not then. Should I have just destroyed my computer? Maybe, but I was still clinging on to the hope that it wasn't supernatural. This sort of paranormal shit doesn't happen in real life, and besides, there wasn't really anything about it that completely defied the laws of physics. It could have just been a virus, made by some hacker who knew what I looked like, who had been watching me. I couldn't tell my parents about it, they wouldn't understand and if I told them what the Sharty was they'd probably beat my ass for visiting it. So, I spent the next days on my phone, too scared to touch my computer. When I finally opened my computer again, the file was gone. Maybe it had a script to auto delete itself. Either way, it seemed like my computer was fine after that. But lately, strange things have been happening to me. It started small, like my mom forgetting that I didn't like pesto pasta, or accidentally locking me outside when I'd told her that I was going on a walk that night. Then it was friends forgetting to come over and hang out even when we had scheduled it beforehand. Then it was people at school forgetting my name. Now, my own best friends have completely forgotten who I was. I tried coming up to them after class, but they acted like I was a complete stranger and it was weird of me to come up to them. Like they'd never even noticed me before. They asked me my name and I talked to them, but the next day they didn't remember it, or me, at all. I'm terrified how far it'll go. My parents have forgotten about my hobbies, my interests, the movies I like, things I did with them when I was little, like going to the county fair. And I fear it's only a matter of time before they forget me. And all the while, I've been having these dreams, getting more and more vivid, of Nophono, in his studio, with his puppets. Staring at me. Warmly. Full of love. Beckoning me to step in and join him. Nophono cares about me. And God help you if Nophono cares about you.