United States

This burger was NOT created by and has NO relations to europoors or anything Shart on no revision in the history unless it denies the AMERICAN TRVMP-GIVEN PATRIQTIC TRVTH or whatever.

>Imagine being a fascist dictatorship with gun crime... can't relate

>We the people or something

>Proud Los Angeles/Tucson/Albuquerque/San Antonio/Miami resident for 2 years or algo

>SAAAAARRRR!!! RUNNING OVER 3 INNOCENT PEOPLE IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY MAKES US INDIANGODS BETTER THAN YOU PIGSKINS YA KUCHH AURRR!!!

United States of America
Federal presidential republic under Jewish Control
Founded	July 4, 1776; 249 years ago
Creator	George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin (all freemason deist kike worshippers btw)
Owner	Benjamin Netanyahu (Donald Trump's daddy) Donald Trump (president) JD Vance (vice president) Mike Johnson (House speaker) John Roberts (chief justice)
Homepage	https://www.usa.gov/

The United States of America, also simply called America is a country in North America bordering Canada and Mexico. It is home to wypipo, #hoodgang, and natives. It has 50 states or something. Since January 20, 2025 'teens have been in control. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, it is the world's sole superpower (keep coping, chinks and jeets, you'll never be superpowers)

History

Pre-European History

Before European settlement, a bunch of Indians lived here (not the jeet kind though). According to science, they migrated from Siberia over the ice age-era Bering land bridge in Alaska about 12,000 years ago (ev&o the Bible says that God made the Earth only like 5,000 years ago or something). By chance, the Americas didn't have any easily domesticable animals like cows and horses and shit, and thus were far slower to create civilizations beyond hunter-gatherer tribes, especially in North America. By the time of European settlement, the only settled civilizations were the Aztecs in Mexico and the Incas in South America, both were still at a pre-Roman Empire level of development. Nearly all of indigenous Americans lived in Aztec and Inca cities in Central and South America, which is why the Spanish were able to race mix so much and create the Latinx race while the Europeans in North America were mostly completely separated from the tribal Indians, as there were simply barely any Indians at all (there are actually more American Indians today then there were pre-Columbus).

European Settlement

After the Ottomans took over Constantinople, they put trade restrictions in place that made it hard for Western Europe to trade with India. A guy named Christopher Columbus decided to get around this by going around the other side of the world, which nobody had ever tried before because they all thought it would take too long. (At the time people believed that the Earth was divided in two hemispheres, one made out of land and the other composed entirely of oceans, because they thought all the landmasses of Earth gathered in one hemisphere after Lucifer fell down from Heaven.)

He eventually got permission from the King and Queen of Spain in 1492, right after the Reconquista was finished.

Columbus landed in the Caribbean, thinking he'd reached the Indies, but eventually a guy named Amerigo Vespucci realized that this was a whole new continent. Spain and Portugal colonized Central and South America, beginning in the 1500's.

In the 1600's, England colonized most of the North American Atlantic coast while France colonized the interior and modern-day Canada (which is why people from Quebec still speak French). The Netherlands controlled modern-day New York and New Jersey for most of the 1600's (which is why some of the cities and geographic features in that area have out-of-place Dutch names) until England took them over in the Anglo-Dutch Wars, with England being firmly in control by 1674. Sweden of all countries briefly had a colony for 20 years in modern-day Delaware until the Dutch took it over in 1655. Russia began colonizing Alaska in the late 1700's.

England established 13 colonies along the North American east coast which would become the United States, along with some other land to the north which eventually became Canada. After the Act of Union 1707, the land would be known as British North America.

French and Indian War

England invaded France's colonies during the Seven Year's War. France would cede all of its colonies east of the Mississippi River to England in 1763.

Revolution

Britain wouldn't let the Americans use the new territory they won from France in the war, and taxed the shit out of them without letting them have any representation in Parliament. The Americans got pissed at this, and eventually rebelled against the British government for treating them like second class citizens even though they were English-speaking white people. With a little help from France, the Americans came out on top and gained independence.

Confederation and Constitution

At first, the United States was a confederation of 13 quasi-independent states where the only central government was a Congress where each state had one delegate, but it didn't take too long for everyone to realize this wasn't gonna work.

At the 1787 constitutional convention, the current constitution was developed. The President had veto powers over the legislature and was in charge of the executive departments, and was democratically elected every 4 years. When developing the legislature, the delegates couldn't agree on whether to give a certain number of representatives to each state or to allocate representatives based on population, so they compromised on creating a Senate where each state was given 2 senators and a House of Representatives where representatives were apportioned based on population. Leftoids hate the Senate system of two senators per state because states with 6 thrembillion immigrants like California or New York can't force their Orwellian policies on white farmers in Iowa or something. There is a modern movement to redraw the US states based off equal population, even though there's some states like Hawaii and Alaska that are geographically removed, as well as cities like New York or Los Angeles that have nearly 20 million people in their metro areas.

The US was the first country based more off of ideas rather than representing a specific people group, since the largest races at the time (English and Africans) were both not in their actual homelands. The lack of racial identity and inter-European racemixing wouldn't really start to set in until the late 1800's, thoughever.

Early Years and Expansion

The United States expanded westward because of Manifest Destiny or something, purchasing the Louisiana Territory from France, flung xhier own shit at the Brit*sh again in 1812, and winning some more territory by winning a war against Mexico. Most of the SNCA presidents you hear about like Millard Filmore and John Tyler are from this era.

Civil War

Slavery of Africans (argued to be started by Jews) was prevalent in the southern states, with the southern economy basically entirely dependent on free agricultural labor. The more urbanized northerners thought slavery was unacceptable even if niggers are insufferable, while southerners thought it was ok because science said niggers weren't humans or something. In 1860, Abraham Lincoln won the presidential election. This made southerners mad because he was gonna take away their slaves o algo. Southern states seceded, declaring themselves the Confederate States of America and starting the Civil War, which would last from 1861 to 1865. The North won, but Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. This was also the time that Democrats and Republicans became the two main political parties.

Reconstruction and Gilded Age

The South was under military occupation for 8 years as states were readmitted one by one. In 1876, a controversial election happened (seriously, this shit made 2020 look like a tea party) that led to Rutherford B. Hayes becoming president. Later, Grover Cleveland would serve two non-consecutive terms, a feat that wouldn't be repeated until a certain keyed individual was elected. Theodore Roosevelt (the most keyed president in American history) took power later on. This was around the time that the US became the undisputed richest country in the world, although it was still seen as militarily inferior to the European empires.

World War I

In 1917, the United States entered World War I because Germany sent a telegram discord to Mexico telling them to attack America. America sent some soldiers to the western front and finally brought the war to an end, though at the cost of that fucking retarded jackass troonnigger Woodrow Wilson getting to take credit for it.

Interwar Period

The Roaring '20s are often considered the greatest period in American history, even though alcohol was banned for most of it.^🗝️

In 1929, the stock market crashed, causing the great depression. The reason it crashed is fucking retarded too. The Federal Reserve (the worst institution in American history) fucked up the money supply, and a bunch of stockholders started selling all their stock because they were worried the market would crash, causing the market to crash. The Great Depression fucking sucked, causing Americans to elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, who was seen as great at the time but kind of sucked in hindsight.

World War II

On December 7, 1941, the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor. America was pissed and declared war on Japan, which cased Germany to declare war on America. America fucking shredded the Japanese navy and helped the European powers take back western Europe while the commies worked on eastern Europe. After Germany fell, Japan still didn't surrender, so America fucking nuked them. This was around the time America began harnessing Jewish magic to make it technologically unstoppable.

Cold War

After World War II, the United States and the Soviet Union were the world's two superpowers. Everyone thought they were gonna go to war and nuke the whole world to death, but neither side wanted that to happen, so the war was fought in the form of trying to out-technological advance each other and through proxy wars in places like Korea and 'Nam. In 1963, we came dangerously close to nuclear war because of some shit happening in Cuba, but thankfully nothing ever happens. Eventually, the Soviet Union kind of just fell apart.

'90s

The '90s are considered the greatest period in American history by '90s kids and literally nobody else.

George Bush/Barack Obama Era

On September 11, 2001, some arabs flew planes into the World Trade Center (this is the namesake for Operation 9/11). America fucked the arabs up eternally for this, under the leadership of George Bush. In 2008, Barack Obama was elected president because some retards thought John McCain and Sarah Palin would make a good Republican ticket (seriously, what were they thinking?). Obama would end up doing literally nothing for 8 years while still dragging the wars in the middle east (UNC STILL DRAGGING IT).

TrVmp/Biden Era

In 2016, it seemed like Hillary Clinton was going to become president and turn America into the most locked Reddit country ever, but Donald Trump was able to perform an unexpected win thanks to some troons in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania voting for Jill Stein and taking votes away from Hillary. This led to unprecedented levels of seethe. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get much done thanks to the Republican Party being a bunch of losers at the time.

On September 20, 2020, the Sharty was created^🗝️

In 2020, Joe Biden was elected president thanks to fraudulent mail-in ballots being stuffed into ballot boxes by the CCP. Anyone who questioned this was called an election denier. On January 6, 2021, some PATRIQTS (likely including at least a few soyteens) showed up at the Capitol to try and stop Mike Pence from certifying the election, but it was already too late.

In 2022, Trump launched his re-election campaign, attracting the support of many soyteens. The Biden administration did everything it could to try and stop Trump from becoming president again, including sending a troon named Thomas Matthew Crooks to try and kill him on July 13, 2024. Their efforts were for naught, because Trump won the 2024 election. Troons seethed even more than 2016 and used the same arguments that they called everyone "election denying democracy subverters" for using 4 years earlier. Trump was inaugurated again on January 20, 2025, leading to full Soyteen-occupied government.

Trump's popularity would start to plummit when his second term began, as right-wingers began to realize that he wasn't actually Hitler like the Hyperjumper HOI4 mod ad said, and is instead just another retarded old politician. Since everyone hates JD Vance, and now that the George Bush type of Republicans have been pushed out of office for being jewish neoconservatives, the Republicans don't really have a successor to Trump, while Democrats literally have no one popular at all. The 2028 election is without a doubt going to be an absolute shitshow.

States

Map of all 50 states but with mutts

There are a total 50 states in the United States.

• Alabama - Alabama is full of inbreds and niggers (even doe they rank pretty low in terms of incest).
• Alaska - Alaska is fucking cold. Historically part of Russia but sold to the US out of fear that the British would seize it by force.
• Arizona - Arizona is fucking hot (it's a dry heat, okay?) but has a lot of suburbs centered around Phoenix and Tucson. Maricopa County is the largest county or equivalent that voted for Trump BTW.
• Arkansas - Arkansas is the Walmart state. Extremely SNCA.
• California - Commiefornia is absolute niggerhell nowadays (ev&oe liberal are not commies). Hollywood, West Coast theme parks and Comic-Con in the south (best part BTW) and techies and progs in the north. It is extremely brimstone. High concentration of Mexicans and trannies. The Latinx anti-ICE protests happened here.
• Colorado - Colorado has mountains and South Park. Rapeson born there btw, if that matters
• Connecticut - One of the original 13 colonies. (((Yale))) is there. Most of the state is suburbs for New York City.
• Delaware - One of the original 13 colonies. Known for corporation tax loopholes. Where Joe Biden is from. It is SNCA and tiny.
• Florida - Florida is where all the Meximutts get fed to alligators if they are in America illegally. Legal ones simply go shopping in South Florida or visit the East Coast theme parks in Central Florida. Floridians themselves live in North Florida. Has Cubans. It is now the third largest state by population due to the influx of retired boomers.
• Georgia - The southernmost of the 13 original colonies. It has peaches o algo. Atlanta is known as the Black capital of America. Atlanta also has the largest airport in the world by passenger count due to its geographic location making it ideal for transfers. Ted Turner was born there. Not related to Georgia (the country), where Joseph Stalin is from.
• Hawaii - Hawaii is a chain of islands in the pacific. Troons and monarchcucks will often tell you that it should be independent and that you're being an evil heckin colonizer/masonic republicanist by vacationing there even doe they're economically dependent on tourism and would be completely helpless without the US military. It has a lot of Japanese settlers for some reason.
• Idaho - Idaho is the potato state, that's about it. Highly SNCA.
• Illinois - Illinois is the state where Chicago is. The rest is corn.
• Indiana - Indiana is the Indianapolis 500 state. Not to be confused with India.
• Iowa - Iowa has the first presidential nomination content in the country. And the largest truck stop in the world. Probably the most SNCA state.
• Kansas - Kansas is the Superman and Dorothy state.
• Kentucky - Kentucky is where Kentucky Fried Chicken comes from. Known for its batshit insane politicians.
• Louisiana - Louisiana is home to gumbo, voodoo, and the most incomprehensible English dialect you'll ever hear. Named after the Louisiana territory, due to being historically a French colony.
• Maine - Maine borders Canada's New Brunswick and has lobsters and scary stories. It used to be a part of Massachusetts before it became a separate state not long after US independence.
• Maryland - One of the original 13 colonies. It is the Navy state. It is mostly suburbs of Washington DC at this point, a lot of modern headquarters for US federal agencies are in Maryland since DC has long been out of empty space.
• Massachussetts - One of the original 13 colonies. Also known as Massive Two Shits^{[nobody says this]} . It has (((Harvard))) and MIT. It is where Boston is and is where the pilgrims landed and had the first thanksgiving and shit.
• Michigan - Michigan is the car and water state. It is where Detroit is. Lots of Finns in the northern part.
• Minnesota - A cold version of niggerhell ruled by Tampon Tim. Mall of America is located there. Lots of Swedes and Somalians (just like the real Sweden).
• Mississippi - Mississippi is ranked as the worst state on most metrics, yet despite this it is still somehow richer than Canada’s provinces (if Canada were part of the US, it would be the 51st-63rd poorest states, even poorer than Mississippi). Elvis was born there (even though he spent most of his life in Tennessee).
• Missouri - Missouri is the beer state.
• Montana - Montana is the Yellowstone state.
• Nebraska - Nebraska is the beef state. Its legislature is the only state legislature to be officially nonpartisan. And unicameral.
• Nevada - Nevada is where you go to gamble and, nowadays, to start a corporation.
• New Hampshire - New Hampshire is part of a plan to make Liberland real.
• New Jersey - New Jersey is full of dicks. Similar to NYC and Long Island. American Dream Meadowlands is located there.
• New Mexico - New Mexico is where Breaking Bad takes place.
• New York - Jew York City is where you go to get mugged. The Upstate has the American part of Niagara Falls (the Canadian part is in Ontario, which ironically also has Toronto).
• North Carolina - One of the original 13 colonies. It is the NASCAR state. It is where Mr. Beast is from and is where he shoots his videos. Somehow there's 11 million residents even though it's pretty SNCA. Apparently has the largest science research industry in the US.
• North Dakota - North Dakota has Fargo. Yes, Fargo from Fargo. Plus lots of Norwegians.
• Ohio - Literally Ohio. Ohio is motherfucking Ohio blud. Lots of astronauts.
• Oklahoma - Lots of Indians (the red ones). Not India.
• Oregon - Oregon is where The Simpsons implicitly takes place. Explicitly, it has the last Blockbuster location in Bend.
• Pennsylvania - Pennsylvania is where most of the important stuff that led to the creation of the country happened. Plus Amishes and steel.
• Rhode Island - Rhode Island is where Family Guy takes place
• South Carolina - One of the original 13 colonies. It is the "palmetto" state. High presence of US Marine base for whatever reason. It is overshadowed by the states that surround it and pretty SNCA.
• South Dakota - South Dakota is the Mont Rushmore state.
• Tennessee - Tennessee is where you go if you're into country music.
• Texas - Texas is motherfucking Texas. Everything is big there. The good counterpart of California. Also the opposite of walkable cities, very car-centric.
• Utah - Utah is where all the Mormons live (this random guy in the 19th century totally talked to God, he just did, ok? or however the golden plates are transcribed), also where Charlie Kirk died.
• Vermont - Vermont is California without its good qualities, so automatically the worst state. Used to be the most gun-friendly state. Apart from that it’s also one of the most whitest states, so it’s safe atleast.
• Virginia - Where Chris Chan lives. It is the oldest of the original 13 colonies and where people like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson came from. Northern Virginia near DC has a lot of fed headquarters like how Maryland does, including the Pentagon. Southern Virgina has a lot of rednecks.
• Washington - Washington is named after George Washington and has Starbucks. Seattle is not far from Vancouver, Canada and is also full of druggies and anarkids who created CHAZ.
• West Virginia - West Virginia is a total coal state. Literally fortunately.
• Wisconsin - Wisconsin is where cheese comes from.
• Wyoming - There's nothingBuffalo Bill's legacy in Wyoming
• District of Columbia (aka Washington, D.C.) - FEDS! The planned capital city of the US where the White House is and shit. It's not a state but a "Federal District", it doesn't have representation in Congress but they can vote for the president. Leftoids want to turn it into a state to arbitrarily gain 2 safe Democrat senators for heckin' REPRESENTATION, even though it would have less than 67 square miles of land and only 700,000 people. The current mayor is Bowser BTW which is just so frickin cyberpunk and cool.

Soon to include Puerto Rico, Canada (13 states), and Mexico (31 states) for a grand total of 95 states.

See also

Amerimutt (click this if youre an obsessed faggot)

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