CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.
Tomorrow
Unless you're reading this tomorrow.
[When?]
Tomorrow is the mysterious period of time immediately following today, during which approximately 99% of all planned human activity is scheduled to occur. [it just is, ok?snopes?it just is, ok?] It is expected to arrive tomorrow, although repeated attempts to observe this phenomenon have resulted in tomorrow inexplicably transforming into today immediately upon arrival. It is also a theme on 4cuck.
>I'll do it tomorrow.
Scientists have attempted to determine when tomorrow actually occurs, but every experiment has failed because whenever researchers wait until tomorrow, their clocks insist that it is now today.
This has led some researchers to conclude that tomorrow does not exist and is instead an infinitely receding temporal boundary generated by calendars to trick humans into believing they still have time.
THINK ABOUT IT.
If tomorrow existed, (YOU) would have already experienced it.[a]
But you haven't.
You've only experienced today.
WHERE DID TOMORROW GO?
Definition[edit | edit source]
Tomorrow is conventionally defined as the day after the current day.
For example:
- If today is Monday, tomorrow is Tuesday.
- If today is Tuesday, tomorrow is Wednesday.
- If today is Wednesday, tomorrow is Thursday.
- If today is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday.
- If today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday.
- If today is Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday.
- If today is Sunday, tomorrow is Monday.
NOTICE THE LOOP.
There is no eighth day.
After seven days the system RESETS.
[Why are they hiding Day 8?]
This means humanity has been trapped inside the same seven-day temporal containment structure for thousands of years.
You think you're experiencing a "new week"?
It's the same week.
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.
Saturday.
Sunday.
Then suddenly...
MONDAY AGAIN.
The Tomorrow Paradox[edit | edit source]
The primary problem with tomorrow is remarkably simple:
Tomorrow never arrives.
Suppose it is Monday.
Tuesday is tomorrow.
You wait 24 hours.
Tuesday arrives.
Except now Tuesday is called today and Wednesday has become tomorrow.
Therefore Tuesday ceased being tomorrow at precisely the instant it became observable.
This means tomorrow can only exist while it isn't happening.
>Tomorrow exists.
Wrong.
You have never been in tomorrow.
You cannot enter tomorrow.
You cannot photograph tomorrow.
You cannot record tomorrow.
You cannot point at tomorrow.
You cannot provide physical evidence that tomorrow exists.
All you have are calendars printed by people you've never met telling you that another day is coming.
AND YOU BELIEVED THEM.
Temporal treadmill theory[edit | edit source]
The Temporal Treadmill Theory states that human consciousness is permanently trapped inside a moving region of spacetime approximately zero seconds wide known as the present.
Imagine running toward something on a treadmill.
That's tomorrow.
You run toward Tuesday.
Tuesday runs toward you.
The distance decreases.
23 hours.
12 hours.
1 hour.
10 minutes.
1 minute.
10 seconds.
3.
2.
1.
YOU GOT IT
Except you didn't.
It's today now.
Tomorrow moved another 24 hours away.
>>>>>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<<<<<
This process has allegedly been occurring since the beginning of the universe.
Where is tomorrow?[edit | edit source]
Nobody knows.
Common theories include:
- In the future
- Behind today
- In front of today
- Inside clocks
- Underneath calendars
- Switzerland
- Approximately 24 hours away
- Nowhere
- Everywhere
- Russia
The last answer is partially correct due to the existence of time zones.
Time zones expose everything[edit | edit source]
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FUCKED.
Suppose (YOU) live in America.
It is Monday.
Someone in another part of the world may already be experiencing Tuesday.
(((YOUR TOMORROW.)))
This raises an obvious question:
If tomorrow has not happened yet...
HOW ARE PEOPLE ALREADY LIVING IN IT? 
Governments claim this occurs because Earth rotates and humans established standardized time zones.
Convenient explanation.
But consider the implications.
At certain moments, multiple calendar dates simultaneously exist on Earth.
One person is in Monday.
Another person is in Tuesday.
Therefore:
Tuesday exists.
AT THE SAME TIME.
READ THAT AGAIN.
AT. THE. SAME. TIME.
THE CONVENTIONAL LINEAR MODEL OF TIME HAS JUST FUCKING EXPLODED
The Diomede anomaly[edit | edit source]
The most obvious temporal breach occurs between Little Diomede in Alaska and Big Diomede in Russia.
The islands are only around 3.8 kilometres apart, yet the International Date Line passes between them.
Big Diomede is consequently nicknamed Tomorrow Island while Little Diomede is sometimes called Yesterday Isle.
>What day is it over there?
A person standing on Little Diomede can therefore look across the water toward territory operating on the next calendar date.
THE FUTURE IS VISIBLE.
AND IT'S RUSSIAN.
WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS
[The media remains suspiciously silent about the existence of Tuesday]
The International Date Line[edit | edit source]
The International Date Line[1] is an imaginary line humans invented because rotating spherical planets are apparently incompatible with calendars.
Crossing it can cause the local calendar date to advance or retreat by one day.
Read that carefully.
You can physically travel across a line...
...and your calendar changes...
...by an entire day.
LEGAL TIME TRAVEL.
Governments openly acknowledge this.
It's on maps.
Airlines participate in it.
Nobody cares.
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.
Airplanes[edit | edit source]
Airplanes make the situation worse.
You can board an aircraft on Tuesday, cross the International Date Line, and arrive somewhere where it is Monday.
Therefore you departed on Tuesday and arrived on Monday.
YOU ARRIVED BEFORE YOU LEFT.
Airlines describe this as "time zone differences" because apparently PASSENGER AIRCRAFT ROUTINELY TRAVELLING INTO YESTERDAY sounds bad on the safety card.
Conversely, travelling in the opposite direction can make an entire calendar date apparently disappear.
Where did those hours go?
Who received them?
Can we get them back?
[I paid for the whole week]
Midnight[edit | edit source]
Midnight is the alleged transition point between today and tomorrow.
At exactly:
23:59:59
you are in today.
One second later:
00:00:00
you are...
also in today.
THE TRANSITION NEVER OCCURS FROM THE OBSERVER'S PERSPECTIVE.
There is no moment where your clock displays:
It simply changes the date and continues pretending nothing happened.
Calendars[edit | edit source]
Calendars are physical objects containing alleged information about future days.
This should immediately concern you.
A calendar printed in January can supposedly tell you that October 17 will exist months before October 17 occurs.
How does the printer know?
HOW DOES THE PRINTER KNOW?
It knows when Christmas will happen.
It knows when Monday will happen.
It knows when leap years happen.
It knows the phases of the Moon.
Sometimes it even knows when holidays occur.
Clocks[edit | edit source]
Clocks are devices installed in almost every building whose sole purpose is to continuously remind occupants that tomorrow is approaching.
They contain numbers arranged in a circle.
A CIRCLE.
Not a line.
TIME IS SUPPOSED TO BE LINEAR.
12 becomes 1.
1 becomes 2.
2 becomes 3.
Eventually 12 happens again.
(((THE SAME NUMBERS.)))
OVER.
AND OVER.
AND OVER.
Digital clocks attempted to conceal this by placing the numbers on a rectangular screen.
The underlying cycle remains.
THE CIRCLE IS STILL THERE.
Sleep[edit | edit source]
Sleep is the most common method humans use to approach tomorrow.
Every night billions of people voluntarily become unconscious for approximately eight hours.
When they regain consciousness, the date has often changed.
Nobody finds this suspicious.
>Good night, see you tomorrow.
You close your eyes.
Reality disappears.
Several hours become inaccessible.
You wake up.
The calendar changed.
WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE MISSING HOURS?
You don't know.
You were unconscious.
Convenient.
The alarm clock[edit | edit source]
Alarm clocks are devices programmed today to activate tomorrow.
This means they receive instructions across temporal boundaries.
[Temporal communication confirmed]
You tell the machine:
"Wake me up at 7."
Then you become unconscious.
Hours later the machine somehow knows when to activate.
IT REMEMBERED.
Procrastination[edit | edit source]
Tomorrow's primary economic function is storing tasks humans refuse to perform today.
Common objects stored in tomorrow include:
- Homework
- Going to the gym
- Answering emails
- Cleaning your room
- Fixing your sleep schedule
- Applying for jobs
- Starting the project
- Doing the dishes
- Going outside
- Taking your meds
- Becoming productive
- Finally fixing your life
- Reading this entire article
Tomorrow possesses effectively unlimited storage capacity.
No matter how many tasks are moved into tomorrow, additional tasks can always be added.
This makes tomorrow possibly the largest known database.
>I'll start tomorrow.
Tomorrow and death[edit | edit source]
Every human believes tomorrow will occur until eventually one doesn't.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
There will eventually be a day where everyone else receives a tomorrow and you don't.
For the deceased, tomorrow becomes permanently inaccessible.
For everyone else, the treadmill continues.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Until:
nothing
Can tomorrow be stopped?[edit | edit source]
No successful attempt has been documented.
Destroying clocks does not stop tomorrow.
Destroying calendars does not stop tomorrow.
Sleeping does not stop tomorrow.
Remaining awake does not stop tomorrow.
Changing time zones does not stop tomorrow.
Crossing the International Date Line merely causes additional temporal bullshit.
>You cannot stop what is coming.
TRVTH[edit | edit source]
Listen listen listen because this is important they tell you tomorrow is "the next day" but there IS NO NEXT DAY because when the next day gets here it's TODAY so tomorrow is basically a placeholder variable for an inaccessible future state and everyone just accepts this??? Your phone says Tuesday is coming but Tuesday isn't somewhere approaching us like a train there isn't a gigantic Tuesday floating through space toward Earth so WHERE IS IT RIGHT NOW and don't say "the future" because that's literally just renaming the place where tomorrow supposedly is.
You're defining tomorrow as future and future as the place where tomorrow is.
THAT'S CIRCULAR REASONING
and speaking of circles
CLOCKS ARE CIRCLES
and weeks are circles and years are circles and Earth rotates in a circle and Earth goes around the Sun and suddenly we're supposed to believe
TIME IS A STRAIGHT LINE???
EVERYTHING THEY USE TO MEASURE IT IS CYCLICAL.
Seconds repeat. Minutes repeat. Hours repeat. Days repeat. Weeks repeat. Months repeat. Years repeat.
THEY PUT NUMBERS ON THE LOOP SO YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE.
2024 2025 2026 wow look number bigger must be moving forward
You've done Monday thousands of times.
How many Mondays do you need before you realize
wearing a different number?
And then they invented leap years because their own calendar doesn't even fit the planet properly and every four years they just
ADD ANOTHER DAY.
THEY CAN ADD DAYS.
February 29 just manifests because some astronomers decided the numbers weren't lining up.
If they can add February 29
WHERE IS FEBRUARY 30?
WHERE IS FEBRUARY 31?
WHERE IS 25:00?
Why does the system stop exactly where they say it stops?
And the International Date Line literally lets you cross from one date into another but they call it "time zones" and everyone nods because they learned about it when they were eight years old before developing critical thinking.
There are people experiencing your tomorrow RIGHT NOW.
Tomorrow is already happening but not to you.
So tomorrow simultaneously exists and does not exist depending on longitude.
TIME HAS A FUCKING LONGITUDE.
They put tomorrow in the Pacific Ocean and drew a zigzag around countries so nobody accidentally gets the wrong Tuesday.
WAKE UP.
CHECK THE DATE.
IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
Tomorrow[edit | edit source]
Tomorrow, this article will be one day older.
Unless it is edited tomorrow.
In which case the edit will occur today.
But from the perspective of this revision, that today is currently tomorrow.
Therefore the future editor is editing this article today from a day which does not yet exist.
[Future editor please confirm]
If you are reading this tomorrow:
YOU MADE IT.
Unfortunately...
there is
(((another)))
tomorrow.
See also[edit | edit source]
- Time
- Clock
- Diomede Islands
- Sleep
- Schizophrenia
- Wordswordswords
- Today
- Yesterday
- Never
- The future
- Monday
- Tuesday
- Wednesday
- Thursday
- Friday
- Saturday
- Sunday
- Day 8
Notes
- ↑ Time is an illusion.
Snopes
MARGE, WHY IS THIS AN ARTICLE?
Other margerald pages that exist:
'p'o'o'p -
1904 -
48-22-2132 -
Airplanes -
AK-47 -
Alternate history (detractor/enjoyer/germany won ww2 timeline) -
Anti-furry commando -
AR-15 -
Arnold Schwarzenegger -
Ash -
Blank -
Broken links -
Bull Of Heaven -
Camera -
CAPTCHA cheatlist -
Chess -
Coffee -
Chili's Smokehouse Combo -
Cum -
Deinerbud -
Dishwasher salmon -
Drum and bass -
DVloper -
Esperanto -
Experimental Music -
Fax -
Food -
Giant Hogweed -
Grain of salt -
Grand Theft Auto -
Grass -
HANGING SCHOLAR GIVES YOU NAMEROLLS -
HELP ME MAKE 4CHAN THREADS -
Hey guys this is completely unrelated -
Irony -
Islamic State (ISIS) -
Jartycar -
JartyTok -
IVLIVS CAESAR -
Kokosnoot -
Landscape Therapy -
Lawnmower -
Lemon -
Lorem Ipsum -
McDonalds -
Memorial -
Morshu -
My name is MoonMetropolis and I'm pushing 30. -
Nation of Islam -
Nature -
Negan War -
Niger -
Nine Inch Nails -
Obsession -
Operation:_Spilled_Milk -
Orange arrow reservoir -
Orangetext -
SNCA:Orange -
Page -
Peanut -
Pepe Graphics Card -
Pizza -
Poop -
Portland -
Pretend this is a thread -
Purple -
Rapeson Jules -
Red 40 -
Sarge -
Saturn -
Sawed-off -
School -
Sea Peoples -
Seal -
Seinfeld -
Semen Hitler -
Sex -
Shower -
Ship -
Soap -
Sonic the Hedgehog -
Source -
Soyduel FFA -
Soyius Partius -
The 20 Year Old WOJACKER -
The sign is a subtle joke. -
The widest page on the wiki -
The X files -
Tobacco -
Toyota -
Train -
Trunk -
Uncle Bao -
Vitamins -
𝐕lone -
Walmart -
Water -
We should use the 'iki for posts until the sharty is back -
トランク -
🕈E💧︎ -
Internal error -
If the VPN is closer to the server -
(edit this list)
