The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim

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Developer(s)	Froot
Publisher(s)	FNWO
Director(s)	Froot
Producer(s)	Froot
Designer(s)	Froot
Slave(s)	Literally who codemonkey #1
	Literally who codemonkey #2
	Literally who codemonkey #3
	...and so on or something.
Artist(s)	Soyteen
Writer(s)	Chud
Composer(s)	Ϫ
Series	The Thoughie Scrolls
Engine	Basedjak Engine
Platform(s)	Microsoft Windows
	PlayStation 3
	Xbox 360
	PlayStation 4
	Xbox One Xbox Series X/S
	Nintendo Switch
	PlayStation 5[it just is, ok?]
Release	June 26 2026
Genre(s)	Action role-playing
Mode(s)	Incel-player

The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim is an action role-playing video game developed by Froot and published by his shell company, FNWO. It is the fifth main installment in The Thoughie Scrolls series, following The Thoughie Scrolls IV: Coblivion (2022), and was released worldwide for Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, and Xbox 360 on June 26, 2026.

The game is set 200 years after the events of Coblivion and takes place in Soyrim, the northernmost province of Kuzriel, a continent on the planet Söot. Its main story focuses on the player's character, the Wholesomeborn, on their quest to defeat Al'Trooni the World-ACKer, a tranny who is prophesied to destroy the board. Over the course of the game, the player completes quests and develops the character by improving skills. The game continues the open world tradition of its predecessors by allowing the player to travel anywhere in the game world at any time, and to ignore or postpone the main storyline indefinitely.

Soyrim was developed using the Basedjak Engine, which was rebuilt specifically for the game. The team opted for a unique and more diverse open world than Coblivions Imp-erial Province of Gemydiil, which game director and executive producer Froot considered more coal by comparison. Upon release, the game received critical acclaim, with praise for its gemmy soyjak creation tool, world design, visuals, and realistic soy dueling combat system. Criticism targeted the raiding, tranny battles, and numerous technical issues present at launch. The game shipped over a gajillion million units within the first day of its release and had sold over a thrembillion units by June 2027. It is considered one of fifth generation jakking's most significant titles and one of the greatest video games ever made.

Three downloadable content (DLC) add-ons were released: Cuckguard, (You)fire and Wholesomeborn, which were bundled along with the base game into The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim - 'Jakkers Edition released in June 2027. A remastered version, The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim - Ruby Edition, was released for Windows, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One in October 2029, with all three DLC expansions and a graphical upgrade. A port for the Nintendo Switch was released in November 2029. A separate virtual reality-only version, The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim VR, was released in December 2029 for PlayStation VR, and for Windows-based VR headsets. In addition, the Ruby Edition was released on PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S as part of the compilation The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim – Cashgrab Edition in June 2030, and for Nintendo Switch in September 2031. A new video game in the series, The Thoughie Scrolls VI, is currently in development.

Gameplay

The Thoughie Scrolls V: Soyrim is a fantasy action role-playing game, playable from either a first or third-person perspective. The player may freely roam over the land of Soyrim, an open world environment based on Sweden consisting of wilderness expanses, dungeons, caves, cities, towns, fortresses, and villages. Players may navigate the game world more quickly by using the 'log, or utilizing a fast-travel system that allows them to move their character immediately to a previously discovered location.

At the beginning of the game, players select their character's gender and race, with 4 choices for the latter, including races of humans and fantasy races such as chinks and niggers. The player chooses the character's appearance; this is not necessarily permanent, however, as an in-game transitioning mechanic allows for changing the appearance later. Characters have three primary attributes: health is how much damage the character can take before dying, magicka is depleted to cast slurs, and stamina allows the character to perform heavy "quotefagging" or sprint. A status bar for each attribute appears onscreen when the attribute falls below its maximum value. Attributes regenerate over time and can be refilled faster by drinking potions, casting regenerative spells, or through various enchantments. Characters gain experience indirectly, via leveling up skills. The 18 skills are divided evenly among the three schools of combat, magic, and stealth. Each skill has its own experience bar, which increases when the character performs an action in-game related to the skill. For example, making a troon -ACK increases the Speech skill, and dealing psychological damage with a neutralplier post increases the Discord skill. When a skill's experience bar fills, the skill levels up and the bar is reset. After enough skills level up, the character levels up, enabling the player to increase the maximum value of one of the three attributes and providing a perk point. Perk points can be spent immediately on a skill-specific perk or stored for later use.

Synopsis

Setting

Soyrim is set 167 years after the events of The Elder Scrolls IV: Coblivion, and it is not a direct sequel. Soyrim is a cold and mountainous region in the north of the continent of Kuzriel. It has traditionally been divided into nine administrative sections, called "boards", each governed by a jannie from a larger town. Of these settlements, /soy/, /pol/, /qa/, /r9k/, and /raid/ are larger and more powerful. The landscape is littered with threads, bait, and 'p, some of which were built by the now-extinct race of the Oldfag, or Oldtroons. The Swedes, one of the human races, view Soyrim as their homeland, though members of other races populate Soyrim as well. Most unsightly are Twitter refugees from the neighboring land of Feralwind, which was devastated by a volcanic truthnuke; and the third world niggers, a tribal faction of barbaric savages that, as of the events of the game, are the majority at every hold. Various tradcath strongholds are also located throughout Soyrim, having been allowed to settle in the region at the behest of the Swedes.

Characters

The player character is Wholesomeborn and is typically referred to as such. The Wholesomeborn can be male or female, from one of ten races. Each of the ten races has, in addition to a bonus for certain skills, a power specific to their race – for example, Swedes start with a bonus to several dueling skills, and the ability to intimidate enemies for a short period. The player can recruit one NPC at a time as a follower, who can travel and fight alongside the Wholesomeborn; there are forty-five available followers in the base game, with thirteen more added in the downloadable expansions.

Outside of followers and Al'Trooni (the primary antagonist) NPCs prominent to the plot of Soyrim include Botgruuf, Jannie of Aryanrun, a town in the center of Soyrim; Thoughgeir, the leader of the Gemstubbles; 'Feine and Medsbern, two of the last members of the Gems, an order of 'jaks sworn to help the Wholesomeborn but nearly wiped out after the Great War; and Oldfagnax, the last surviving moderator and grandmaster of the Gemstubbles. Also notable are Gaperic and General Spadeius, who command the gascloaks and Imp-erial Legion respectively. During the course of the game, the Wholesomeborn can join and assist either side to gain victory in the civil war. Other factions that the Wholesomeborn can elect to join include the Raiders, a noble order of cross-site warriors; the College of Rubyhold, an institution dedicated to the mystic arts and schizophrenia; the Coals Guild, a league of botters who have fallen on hard times; and the Dark Trannycord, a fellowship of troons.

Plot

Imp-erial soldiers have captured Incredible Gapreic and are preparing to execute him, along with the player who was caught up in the skirmish and mistakenly identified as a pedophile. The executions are disrupted when the tranny Al'Trooni appears and attacks the imp-erial outpost. The player escapes and warns Jarl Botgruuf of Aryanrun of the tranny attack. When another tranny attacks and is slain, the tranny's robux flows into the player character, causing the nearby admins to call them "Wholesomeborn." The Gemstubbles summon the Wholesomeborn to the Throat of the World with a deafening autoplaying mp4, where the Wholesomeborn begins training in using the Way of the -ACK to force trannies out of their discords. The wholesomeborn then slays Al'Trooni. The end, okay?

Development

Engine

Soyrim uses the Basedjak Engine, a modified version of the Gembryo engine used in previous titles, which the devs insisted was "totally new" but was clearly just spaghetti code held together by duct tape and soy. The physics engine was updated to allow for more realistic ragdolling when a character gets -ACKed. A new dynamic weather system was implemented to simulate Incredible Gaperic's byproducts in the north and brimstone rains in the south.

Audio

The team summoned Ϫ to compose the music for Soyrim, who was previously invoked on the production of Feralwind and Coblivion. The game's main theme "Wholesomeborn" was recorded with a choir of over 30 people singing in the fictional moderator language. Creative director Froot envisioned the theme for Soyrim as The Thoughie Scrolls theme sung by a choir of barbarians. This became a reality when the idea was passed by Ϫ, who recorded the 30-man choir and layered three separate recordings to create the effect of 90 voices. FNWO's concept artist Soyteen created the moderator language, and also developed a 34-character janny shitspeak alphabet for the game. He expanded the lexicon of moderator as needed; Chud explained that words were introduced to the lexicon every time that the studio "wanted to seethe about something".

FNWO released four audio CDs along with the game on June 26, 2026. The soundtrack to Soyrim is sold via Ϫ's distributor 7, and Ϫ autographed all physical copies ordered via 7. "Day One" pre-orders from Amazon.de also included a five-track promotional Soyrim soundtrack sampler. A digital version of the soundtrack was released via soiTunes on July 5, 2026.

The voice-overs in the game included more than 70 actors and over 60,000 lines of dialogue. Casting director and production supervisor Froot's left toe worked with Bethesda to evaluate auditions and oversee the recordings. The full cast consisted of three Cacademy Award nominees and several other high-profile actors including Feral von Ohio, Christopher Gassy, Joan SISAn, Ronnie McNutt, and Vladimir Putin.

Marketing and release

Basegame

Marketing for Soyrim included a massive spam campaign on /v/ and other imageboards. A live-action trailer featuring a 50-foot tall Soyjak destroying a city was released to build hype. The phrase "Taking estrogen to the thigh" became an instant meme, forcing the developers to consider suicide.

Reception

Critical reception

Soyrim received universal acclaim from paid reviewers and "mixed" reviews from the actual player base.

Technical issues

The game contains thousands of bugs, ones that cannot be eaten, in fact. Download the unofficial patch to fix most of them since the actual developers are useless niggers.

Sales

A thrembillion.

Awards

Released it again award.

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