Christianity

>Though maybe you were looking for Christianity (positive perspective)?

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Christianity is (((Jewish))).

>he died on that BBC for our sharts or something

This page is a gem.

>Deus BRAAAAPPP!!!!!!

A Christian tries to fit his beliefs into the logic machine.

Christianity, also known as Christcuckery and Neo-Judaism, is a polytheistic Semitic death cult skinwalking a monotheistic religion. It was founded by some kike incel named Paul, who used to execute innocent Muslim followers of Jesus Christ before receiving a "vision from god" about Jesus being LAAAAWD AND KAAAANG on the road to Damascus or something. Paul tried to change the religion’s laws to make it more appealing to non-Jews (e.g. blending in Hellenistic and Roman mythology and poetry, removing food laws, removing holidays) which resulted in the cult being very popular amongst the pagan degenerates of the Roman Empire. Paul’s followers were persecuted for roughly 300 years, until Roman emperor Constantine mistook a glare in the sun as a cross of light during the Battle of the Milvian Bridge, which he saw as a message from god. He later won the battle, and converted to Pauline Christcuckery for political reasons, corrupting it even further by inventing new theology, like the Trinity. He encouraged everyone across the empire to convert to Trinitarianism after legalizing and standardizing it. A few decades after his death, emperor Theodosius I made Trinitarian Christianity the official state religion of the entire Roman Empire, effectively outlawing and persecuting any monotheistic Christians or non-Christians living in his empire. Christcucks then started leaking at eachother, calling one another heretics for centuries resulting in a heavy secetarian split. Christcucks love Israel, lying and hate math. Most of the trad Christians you see online are nothing more than internet LARPers because most (if not all) Christian countries are secular, liberal, and kiked.

Christians are known for licking every cross they see, whilst consuming bread and wine in all the name of Jesus or something. They believe these food & drink items are Jesus' literal body and blood, either because they are vampires who cannabalize their own deities during rituals, or they are fucking retarded.

There are a few more insane and far less common sects that are used for trolling, such as Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses.

Christian sects

Just like how many deities they believe in, Christcuckery is split between three main sects, or denominations. These are Catholicism, Protestantism, and Orthodoxy. (Though it’s not one like their trinity GEEEEEEEG)

Catholicism

Catholicism is the biggest out of the three. They are constantly made fun of by other Christians because of their unusual idol worship (e.g. praying to Mary, praying to rosaries, praying to statues, believing the Pope can bless them), even though all of them are idol worshippers anyway. Their clergymen are massive child rapists and ZOG propagandists, and are not allowed to have wives or children because it's "ungodly". They are widely known for being the absolute most frail in their acceptance of "socially progressive" views, constantly allowing female clergyfoids into their clergy. It is the most Jewish, likely due to its size.

Protestantism

Protestantism was the third, yet is the second largest Christian denomination, and began in 1517 when an angry German priest named Martin Luther began to leak at the Catholic Church, going on to write a list of 95 reasons why he believed Catholicism is le bad. These include scamming the poor with glorified pieces of paper called "indulgences", saying that the Pope can forgive sins (heckin hereticalerino) and stating that the Church should have absolute dominion over Europe and its people. One of the core tenants of Protestantism was its (mostly) churchless system and emphasis on personal beliefs and debate rather than the Catholic doctrine and standardized interpretation.

They aren’t very devout compared to other types of Christians, and as a result some former/current Protestant countries and their populace have become largely secular or irreligious.

Orthodoxy

Orthodoxy is the smallest and most "fundamentalist" or traditional sect of the three, and is mainly "practiced" by Braniggers, LARPers, Slavs, and Ethiopians. In reality, the only people that actually practice Orthodoxy are its borderline schizophrenic monks, who are usually too busy having absurd visions, telling people about how god himself told them that HRT is wholesome and kosher or something. It is the "eastern" part of the West-East schism, which is the next topic.

Why so many?

In 1054, the faggots Pope Leo IX and and Michael I Cerularius decided that the other person's religion was wrong due to the several disagreements and inconsistencies between the two sects. This is called the east-west schism, and is why Catholicism and Orthodoxy are separated. The disagreements were usually over SNCA like who was an idol worshiper and who wasn't (they both were). This caused a massive split between the two sects, and was the cause of many wars and different spergouts of the both sides' leaders over the apparent crimes of the other, which is one of history's first examples of shitflinging.

Christcuck beliefs

• That Jesus is the son of God
• That Jesus is also somehow God at the same time
• That Jesus came back from the dead
• That Jesus died for our sins (but not really because god can't actually die or something)
• That Jesus is a curse (Galatians 3:13)
• That everybody inherits the original sin of Adam and Eve (even doe that's contradictory)
• That god is three separate things but ALL THE SAME GOD
• That you need to LOVE. THY. BVLL.
• That faggots are to be left alone and allowed to be degenerate, as being mean to them would be heckin' wrath
• That trannies are allowed to groom children for the same reasons
• Once saved, always saved. Sin as much as you want.
• That killing innocents regardless of age or gender is a good deed (Deuteronomy 20:16-18, Numbers 31:17, 1 Samuel 15:3)
• That having long hair is for faggots even doe they keep drawing Jesus with it
• That if an unmarried virgin is raped, the rapist must marry the girl he raped and pay her father 50 shekels (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
• That cannibalism is a good deed (2 Kings 6:29)
• That by projecting their idolatry by calling Muslims "stone kissers/lickers" validates their idolatry (Isaiah 6:6-7)

Holidays

Christian holidays have largely been turned into secular, commercialized goyslop these days, thanks to the weak and cowardly nature of the Christcuck. The same thing has happened to their sayings, calendars, songs, and even their own countries.

Since xheir Bible implies that ze crucifixion prevents them from celebrating Jewish holidays, and there is no clear demand there to celebrate any new ones, they simply created their own holidays by stealing some Roman pagan seasonal festivals whilst rebranding them by slapping xheir death cult on it. Lets take a look at Easter and Christmas for example:

Easter

Despite the holiday representing the ressurection of Jesus for Christians, it is actually based off ancient pagan spring fertility festivals, where pagan men and women would fuck eachother, breed and dance naked near phallic objects in orgies and temples to celebrate their fertility gods. Eggs have represented new life and fertility in many cultures for thousands of years, and rabbits were commonly associated with these festivals because of their rapid breeding rates. The word "Easter" is literally derived from an Anglo-Saxon pagan goddess called "Eostore".

Christmas

Christmas is seen as celebrating the birth of Jesus, every 25th of December. However, there is no evidence that Jesus was born on the 25th of December, and this idea is largely rejected by scholars of all backgrounds, whether they’re Christian, Muslim, or just secular historians. The reason why it happens on the 25th of December is due to Roman pagan winter festivals such as Saturnalia and Yule, both of which literally shaped Christmas by adding ideas like mistletoes, Santa, gift-giving, feasting, the Christmas tree, holly, wreaths, and evergreen branches. In Northern European languages, the word for "Christmas" is derived from pagan winter festivals that they used to celebrate. For example, the German word for Christmas is "Weihnatchen", from the middle German "wihen nahten" referring to the "sacred nights" of midwinter. In languages such as Norwegian, Swedish, Icelandic, Finnish, Estonian, etc., it’s some form of Jul/Jól/Joulou/Jõuloud, derived from Yule.

Biblical fails

You WILL fill this section with relevant information NOW

Here are fails in the Bible, consisting of soyentific errors, contradictions, or just absurd verses in general.

Contradictions

A verse in bold green with a small image of a green Grinlook giving a thumbs up at the end signifies "yes". A verse in bold red with a small image of a red Punisher Face giving a thumbs down at the end signifies "no".

Did Judas hang himself?

• Matthew 27:3: So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.
• Acts 1:18: With the payment he received for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out.

Was Jesus all-knowing?

• John 16:30: He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
• Colossians 2:2-3: My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
• Luke 8:45: “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.
• Mark 13:32: But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

Do you have to love your siblings to be a real Christian?

• 1 John 4:20: Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
• Luke 14:26: If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even their own life, such a person cannot be my disciple.

Is slavery le good?

• Luke 12:47: The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows.
• Titus 2:9: Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them.
• Matthew 23:10: Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.

Did God tell Simon that Jesus is the Messiah?

• Matthew 16:16-17: Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.
• John 1:40:41: Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah”

Was Jesus born in 6-4 BCE?

• Matthew 2:1: Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king.
• Luke 2:1-2: In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)

Scientific errors

Smallest seed

>	He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”	<
Matthew 13:31-32

This verse claims Jesus used a mustard seed as a metaphor for heaven. He calls the mustard seed the "smallest of all seeds", which is soyentifically incorrect, as that title belongs to the orchid seed.

Absurdity

Ezekiel using flaming cow poop to bake bread

>	Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel. Then the Lord said, “This is how the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.” Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign Lord! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth.” “Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.”	<
Ezekiel 4:12-15

Lot’s daughters making him extremely drunk so that they could have sex with him without his knowledge

>	One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.	<
Genesis 19:31-36

Interactions with other religions

While Christians now are widely BLACKED into believing that Jews and Muslims are just like them, they were far, FAR less accepting in the old days. Christians during the Crusades became genuinely horrifying and bloodthirsty. Killing Jewish, Muslim, and even Christian people along the way, they marched upon the Holy Land a total of 9 times, and used pure brute force and violence to get there. This resulted in failures more than once, where only 2 of the original 9 crusades almost succeeded, though it is estimated that they often killed far more people than were killed among them, further proving how psychopathic they were, as it resulted in the complete extermination of many innocent Jewish and Muslim towns that happened to be in the way of their war path. This resulted in roughly, on the high end, 9 million deaths on both sides, which are estimated to be mostly Muslim and Jewish, proving that Christianity is a death cult.

Today, Christians and the majority of the organized Christian community has been headlocked into allowing a multitude of objectively unchristian things to occur in their church, such as the blessing of gay marriage, the allowance of transgender, female, and gay priests, the endorsement of immigration, and the absolute and unwavering support of Israel. This includes, of course, accepting Jews and Muslims as "brothers", despite Muslims openly calling for the death of Christians, and Jews openly believing that Jesus is boiling in shit. This is NOT because of any logical argument made by these people, but is rather a self-inflicted emotional blackmail using phrases like "love thy neighbor" to open the door for increasingly degenerate nonsense to be accepted.

The Trinity

Geg, xhey really worship this.

Xhey essentially believe that God is a 3 headed dog, calling this the Trinity. The Trinity is the most core tenet of Christianity and is simultaneously the most retarded. It is by far what distinguishes them the most from Muslims and Jews, and it states that God is a composite of 3 parts, the Son, the Father and the Holy Spirit, which literally makes no logical sense:

1. Christianity teaches there is one god.
2. The father is god, the son is god and the holy spirit is god.
3. All 3 of these are distinct so the father is not the son the son is not the father etc.
4. If each person is distinct then that implies 3 gods (tritheism) creating a logical contradiction.

The concept of a Trinity has been increasingly hard to defend, this was demonstrated when William Lane Craig was struggling to win an argument against Muslim scholar Muhammad Hijab, this was evident by him resorting to compare god to King Cerberus (which is a mythical dog with 3 heads geg).

"It's Based and Christpilled"

Main article: It’s Based and Christpilled

A huge falseflag operation made by aryans in order to derange Christianity, mostly under coal and brimmy posts. It eventually became a meme on Soysphere where people make their own ’pills and other people's 'ills

Copypastas

be christcuck

>be christcuck
>dreaming about the man god spirit begotten son three person essence something and the holy land israel all night
>wake up
>beat wife (she doesnt have to wear hijab doe :))
>go greet 7 year old daughter
>WHAT
>THE
>LE
>FUCK
>7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SAID "o*h m*y g*d" (USING THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN)
>Beat up daughter until her nose is shattered
>send her to school
>start thinking about muh black preaching choir. So beautiful
>JEEEZUS CHRAST OUR LAWD LAAAAAAAAAAWD JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEL LAWD KANG
>get dressed
>check son's room
>WHAT
>THE
>FUCK
>HES PUTTING ON A FUCKING TEMPORARY TATTOO?!?!
>cut off son's skin with the tattoo
>Scream "CHRIST IS KING" 10 times
>good deed counter goes up by one (1)
>but accidentally a bit of blood from son's skin goes on my mouth
>good deed counter goes down by one (1)
>fuck
>Damn brat son already ran off to be molested by the gay priest
>oh well, will beat him up later
>go to church
>speak in tongues
>skijdflawejfikdf rgnmbmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkgfjfkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll fgk2ogf4felgslekslsdlkfaweofapfw3920 oefj23i fdofwej
>get bored
>arrive at the idf military base
>bomb 10 heathens (7 women and 3 children)
>hallelujah
>israel's vinedressers.png
>get paid 10 shekels for my heroic deeds
>not enough money to buy flowers for my graven images- i mean icons
>idea.png
>go preach at speakers corner about how god is his own son
>Mudslim subhuman starts debating me
>heh, I got this.png
>tell him that god killed himsel- his son- actually himself to le SAVE you from.. uhh.. himself
>try to checkmate that muzzie by saying the trinity is a mystery
>mudslime subhuman tells me that i believe in contradictory nonsense and no logic-stretching will fix that
>This puzzles me because i failed math class in 1st grade
>before I panic, I bring up aisha
>mudslime reminds me that i justify murdering infants
>die from heart attack (the fried bacon was worth it geeg too bad for mudsissies)
>Appear before the God of israel (JESUS IS WHITE ARYAN SAAR THOUGH)
>Imagine seeing Paul French-kissing little boys (priestly tradition)
>God I wish this were me
>ask God to enter heaven instantly because of faith alone or whatever paul said
>The man I worshipped descends
>The man I worshipped breaks the same cross I licked on a daily basis
>Judgement day begins
>get dragged to hell to get punished for my sins accordingly
>ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

be le presbyterian

>be christcuck, presbyterian
>dreaming about da predestination and or somethginack
>wake up
>remember you le based protestant so you dont venerate mary
>venerate john calvin and his theology which makes every other protestant catholic and orthodox seethe
>le owned
>WHAT
>THE
>FUCK
>daughter forgot to seperate her day into seperate covenants with God
>sprint towards her and beat her
>she cant do anything because it was predestined
>you have no good deed counter because you le good forever or something
>shes predestined to go to heaven so nobody le cares
>go to church
>it turned into a fucking mega church
>pour water onto exposed wire as a means of grace (braptism)
>it was to save the church or something
>church burns down
>the church was not hymn worship or however the choir sings
>get paid 10 shekels by the nextdoor lutheran church
>die from ecumenical-induced heart attack
>appear before Jesus of Nazareth
>turns out i wasnt predestined for heaven
>immediately get sent to hell
>strangely not a single soul from that megachurch is there
>fuck
>see a painting
>break it because you're a based iconoclast
>He had enough
>sends you into the same level of hell as satan
>ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Gallery

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  A catholic
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  >we all goon to 'p to save the christian race
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Snopes

Christianity is part of a series on Chuds
	Manifestos [-+] Christianity (disputed) ♦ Fascism ♦ Inceldom (disputed) ♦ Millions must die ♦ Neo-Nazism ♦ Nihilism ♦ Nothing Ever Happens ♦ TND (I FUCKING HATE NIGGERS) ♦ TBP
	Clittycels [-+] Chud (Patrick Crusius) ♦ Adolf Hitler ♦ Benito Mussolini ♦ Brenton Tarrant ♦ Chuds.life ♦ Donald Trump ♦ Elon Musk ♦ Frenschan ♦ Heinrich Himmler ♦ J.D. Vance ♦ Joshua Conner Moon (Kiwi Farms) ♦ Kanye West ♦ PewDiePie ♦ /pol/ ♦ Randjak ♦ Ruben Sim ♦ Stonetoss ♦ Ted Kaczynski ♦ Terry Davis ♦ Turkey Tom
	Degeneracy [-+] BBC ♦ Heresy ♦ Communism ♦ Eating the Bugs ♦ Fourth Industrial Revolution ♦ Goyslop ♦ Homosexuality ♦ Islam ♦ Judaism ♦ Meds ♦ Porn ♦ Science (unless it's FBI crime statistics) ♦ Troonslop
	Traitors to the West [-+] Da JOOOOOOOOS (The Happy Merchant) ♦ Arabs ♦ Asians ♦ Chinese ♦ Dr. Fauci ♦ Faggots ♦ Jannies ♦ Joe Biden ♦ Kamala Harris ♦ Klaus Schwab ♦ Leftypol ♦ Liberals ♦ Mexicans (Meximutt ♦ Satoko_houjou_fan) ♦ Muslims ♦ Niggers ♦ Pizzacake ♦ RationalWiki ♦ R/196 ♦ Tim Walz ♦ Trannies (Troonjak ♦ Alicia) ♦ Vaush ♦ Wikipedia ♦ You (detractor perspective)