Norwegian
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 Norwegian is a DEAD VARIANT
This soyjak variant gets posted on the 'log less than once a month. |
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| Norwegian | |
|---|---|
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| Soyjak variant | |
| Origin | Probably /soy/, First sighting /soy/ January 5, 2021[1] |
| Booru posts |  189 As of October 17th, 2025 |
| Traced from | Donald Trump |
Norwegian is a soyjak based on Donald Trump mocking a retarded reporter. It appears that the original intention was just about Trump, but it was later reappropriated by a Swede to mock Norwegians during the Soyvil War. His most notable features are his nipples, which are absent from most 'jaks and not present in the original trace.
History (>I heckin love fanfiction!!!111)[edit | edit source]
Norwegian Soyjak (real name: Jakob Luther Nørskmann) was born on April 14, 1980 in Bergen, Norway. He was born with Arthrogryposis, a rare disease which fucks up your arm and makes you disabled or something. As a result, he was heavily bullied in school, mostly by students who are Swedish immigrants. He recieved nicknames such as "Nippelbög" (which means "Nipple Faggot" in Swedish) and "Släthjärna" (which means "Smooth Brain" in Swedish). This led to him having an intense hatred for anything Swedish and as he grew up, he dreamt of starting a Holocaust against all Swedish people. When he was 19, he got arm surgery and drove to a supermarket in Sweden while (illegally) crossing the Norwegian-Swedish border. He killed 22 Swedes, injuring 10 along the way. This lead to him getting arrested for 21 years (Which is themaxium amount of prison time in Norway btw), albeit the prison cell was very nice and it almost seemed like a hotel for millionares. The only issue was Tyrone Ulfsson raping him in the shower because he kept dropping the soap due to his slightly dysfunctioning arm. After his 21 years of prison ending, he got a loving wife and bought a house. Unfortunately his wife would keep getting harrased by his Swedish neighbor, who kept throwing poop at her every day. He kept argruing with the Swede, calling eachother "obsessed Swedish faggot" and "Norwegian fail". This ended after almost one year of rivalry, after the Swede felt bad and they eventually became friends.
