Iran

Mashallah! Iran is halal!From the river to the sea, bomb all infidels (You) see!
Kneel to your revisions book before reading the following.

This topic is controversial

While viewing this page, (You) may have an irresistible desire to edit it.
Check the history section for the full story.

[CollapseExpand]

Iran literally means ARYANbtw, if that matters

TRIGGER WARNING: Hateful chuds are behind this offensive page!Report every antisemitic conspiracy you see. Watch the alt-right playbook and read the alt-right glossary

to debunk these heckin' bigots.

Iran, formerly known as Persia, is a Muslim country in the Middle East. Although nominally a "republic", it is actually a theocracy, ~~and is currently led by Ayatollah Khamenei~~ nvm xe died geg. ~~It is now led by Ayatollah Arafi~~ Nvm xe died too apparently and it is now being led by Mojtaba Khamenei (the son of the original Ayatollah) for the time being. Despite this, apparently he isn't even aware that Iran is currently being bombed due to being in a coma (that's assuming he's still alive). It is best known for being the foremost geopolitical enemy of Israel, ~~ev&doe it does basically nothing aside from babyraging when attacked~~ nvm again, they actually did something. Since Iran practices Shiite Islam, it is also a rival to Sunni countries such as Saudi Arabia.

It's also the birthplace of Zoroastrianism, an (((ethnic religion))) that is one of the oldest monotheistic religions in the world. Due to them being BTFO'd by Islam, very few Zoroastrians remain, and most of them are in India where they are known as Parsis. Notably, Freddie Mercury was a member of the Parsi community ev&oe he was born in Zanzibar (currently Tanganyika.) After the islamic regime of iran came into power on April 1st, 1979, they started to secretly build missiles or something

Despite homosexuality being punishable by death^🗝️, transitionis legal there.^🔒

History

(You) WILL fill this section with relevant information NOW.

Iran had some ancient settlements 800,000 years ago o algo. Eventually it was overrun by Aryans around 2000 BC, with the first known Iranian state being the Median dynasty. Cambyses I eventually united all the tribes and his son Cyrus the Great went on to BTFO out of everyone and found the Achaemenid Empire, one of the first ever empires. The empire tried to invade Greece but got heckin defeated by 300 Spartans(even&doe they had like 1000 Thespians with them). Then Alexander the Great BTFO out of the Achaemenids and conquered their empire. His empire then collapsed and after some SNCA shitflinging the Iranians once again had their own Empire called the Parthians and later the Sasanians. They would go fight the Roman Empire over SNCA for over a thousand years until the Muslims invaded and made them convert to Islam o algo. Islam would brutally suppress the previous Iranian religion of Zoroastrianism and become the dominant faith within the country, specifically the Twelver Shia denomination. The Mongols invaded them at some point and Iran got ruled over by them for a bit(doe this happened to everyone). Another wave of Mongols^{[Ermmm acktually they were Turco-Mongol]} invaded them again and raped one of their cities, making towers of skulls (more than 28 constructed with about 1,500 heads) in the meantime. The Timurids (said Mongoloids) were able to stay for a while until they got BTFOed by their own former vassals.

In the 1500s a mixed-race (50% Turkic, 25% Kurdish, 12.5% Greek and 12.5% Georgian) cacarald by the name of Ismail steamrolled Persia thanks to xis Turkoman Qizilbash militant groups who were loyal to xim because xe is like the divine leader of the Safavid ~~religious order~~ cult o algo and also because the previous Timurcucks (AQ Qoyunlu) were now DNB. The Persians, who had been pozzed from having an empire for themselves for over 800 years were finally united under native rule^{[it just is, ok?]} thanks to Ismail. The Ottomans under Selim the Resolute were able to heccin BTFO the Safavids right back where they came from because the Safavids acted like selfish little fucks and began to raid and cause Qizilbash rebellions in Ottoman territory o algo. also because the Ottomans were technologically superior to the Safavids, as the Ottomans had cannons and matchlocks while the Safavids didn't have any guns. After the BTFO Ismail coped so hard that xe drank xerself to death and xis image of being an undefeated divine ruler got ACKed . After his VVIN Selim went on to conquer the Mamluks in record speed or however the caliphate went into the hands of the ottomans or something

Sheeit went well here and there for the Persians VNTIL xhey started being gangraped by Russia, The British and the Turks for the next 100 years because They had to fight over aryan brahmin saar and useless mountains o algo. They also fought Afghanistan like 20 times for literally no reason.

As of the mid-20th century, Iran was ruled by the Shah, a hereditary monarch of the Pahlavi family. ^{[still a shithole by all other standards doe]} In 1979, Islamic revolutionaries led by Ruhollah Musavi Khomeini were pissed that the country wasn't a complete shithole like it's neighbors so they toppled the government and took the US embassy staff hostage (aldoe they were later released when Reagan was elected), and the Shah was exiled. When Khomeini died they put put KhamenACK in charge when because they're totally a real democracy they just hate opposition or something. They then fought Iraq but nothing ever happened except it lost it's entire navy to America geg. America also supported Iraq (you will NOT investigate the Iran-Contra affair) which probably didn't help the two's relations either. Since then, Iran has maintained an adversarial relationship with the US and Israel, and has financed groups such as Hamas and Hezbollah. There's also been many protests against them by Shah supporters and some other SNCA groups though all were literal nothingburgers. In 2020, the US airstruck Qasem Soleimani, a high-ranking military officer who kinda looked like Jeffrey Epstein for reasons that (you) VVIL NOT investigate. The situation with Iran has gotten more intense since the war in Gaza with multiple exchanges of bombardment between it and Israel along with the Israeli ~~vassal~~ ally of America. Currently they are battling the US again and bombarded some military bases of theirs in the middle east including dubai. KhamenACK got killed(hence the name) and there is riots happening within it o algo. The riots have mostly subsided due to a combination of the IRGC killing rioters and American/Israeli strikes driving nationalist sentiment.

A common theme in Iranian history is that their leaders keep getting killed by them. (Probably because they know Iran is one of the few countries that willingly resist Israel)

The Iran War

On February 28, 2026, DQNALD TRVMP and Benjamin Netanyahu linked up to shoot a bunch of missiles at Iran or something in operation Epic Fury. This has since been extended into a ~~full-scale war~~ Three-Day Special Military Operation, which is, as of now, ongoing. The Iranians bombarded some military bases of theirs in the middle east including dubai after KhamenACK got killed on day 1 of fighting ^{(hence the name)}, they also closed the gay of hummus which raped gas prices across the world or however the mine is placed. As of October 2026 the war is still ongoing^kinda?.