United Kingdom

(You) shall use the King's English.

>I COME YOUR COUNTRY RAPE WOMANS AND STAB MEN

>literally 1948, or however the tea is partied

This page is a gem.

The United Kingdom is a great and prosperous land of the British Isles, sharing a border with Ireland. In addition, it is recognised among the general populace most commonly by its foul weather and citizens. Its cities increasingly consist of unsanitary imbeciles shoving their shopping carts filled to the utter brim with garbage and "wares" through the street, and a far greater quantity of pubs than that of places in worship in Poland, with the remainder being faecal matter not a soul is seriously concerned with.

History

After many attempts of invasion back in 55 BC, Claudius, as ordered by Julius Caesar, annexed all of England and took them for Rome in 43 AD. During the 7th century, the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms were all converted into Christianity by missionaries from Ireland. In the following century, Vikings continuously non-consensually fudged unprotected Anglo-Saxon kingdoms and settled in the island. King Æthelstan I of Wessex united England into one kingdom in 12 July, 927.

A succession crisis in France led to the Hundred Years' War with Britain in 1337. The English defeat led to the War of the Roses between the York and the Lancaster families, ending with a marriage between these families that therefore founded the Tudors. The Anglican Church was founded by the following Tudor ruler, Henry VIII, because the Pope refused to divorce him and his wife in 1534.

Around the 17th century, the Wars of the Three Kingdoms sweeped the British Isles: the Parliamentarians revolted against Charles I, and after the latter's downfall, the Irish and the Scottish decided to revolt aswell. Oliver Cromwell, the parliament's "president", established the Commonwealth after he wonned, consisting of Ireland and Britain, and temporarily abolished religion. His rule did not last long though, and Charles II was crowned king.

Britain and Prussia won the Seven Years War in 1763, defeating Spain and France, acquiring vast territories in North America, the Caribbean, West Africa, and India. The British Empire continued to grow throughout this time, Australia and New Zealand were claimed by Britain and colonized shortly after. However, the Brits would soon lose a key part of their empire because they didn't want to pay taxes for tea or something.

A British soldier showing his dominance over India

The British Empire hit its peak during the Victorian era, after defeating Napoleon in the Napoleonic Wars and killing most of the Zulus in Africa. In 1914, Germany declares war on France, who is now their best ally, starting World War 1. Britain only joins after Germany invaded Belgium for no reason. The war ends in 1918, with Germany and the Ottoman Empire defeated. In the 1920s, Britain had to deal with now independent Ireland and the internal dispute between the Tory and the Liberal parties.

Germay invades Poland in 1939, although the Treaty of Versailles told them not to, thus starting World War 2. Winston Churchill, the current Prime Minister, sold the soldiers' souls to the Jews, so that they can defeat Hitler and win the war. During the Cold War era, the political parties began to transform into the Labour and the Conservative parties, and Argentina attempt to take the Falklands, but failed.

Britbong

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Anonymous 04/14/12(Sat)18:03 No.136042832

>go to england
>head to restaurant for food
>watch is set to timezone of hometown
>ask someone what time it is
>TOYME? WOTS THAT?
>notice he doesn't have a watch
>no one in england has a watch
>big ben starts to chime
>everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers
>man crashes his car trying to count the bongs
>waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers
>man running down the street: OI IT'S 7 BONG
>mfw