Vlodson (detractor perspective)

	DELETE THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!
	REASON: IT FUCKING SUCKS!!!

This page, and its contents... /calm/ing??? NO, FUCK YOU AND DIE

>	Kill yourself Vlodson pedo. If the only way you can get people to interact with your shitty variant in any way is by forcing it and pissing people off, then your OC is shit. Why the FUCK should I even bother making OC anymore if it barely gets any engagement compared to the countless bait and your forced slop? I want to scatter you and your "soyjak's" head across the pavement, I shall watch you bleed out as I dash your skull against the rocks. I will crush your head beneath my shoe and watch your blood cover the ground. I want to do the same to your pathetic "soyjak". Bleed out Vlodsontranny. Fuck you and die.	<
H3K

(((VLODSTEIN))) IS FORCED NAS SHITSTONE FROM THE FIERY DEPTHS AND SHIT-FILLED WASTELANDS OF NIGGERHELL!

This page is a Tanzanite Trvthnvke.

Vlodson
Not a Soyjak
Aliases	Zelenskyjak, Poopson, Vladson
Origin	/soy/ August 7th 2025
SoyBooru posts	339 As of November 27, 2025
Based on	Nojak (Head) Gapejak (Nose) Cobson (Eyes) Amerimutt (specifically the baby Amerimutt's lips)
Subvariants	Thremboson A bazillion others that nobody gives a single shit about

Vlodson is an amalgamation NAS nuvariant. It was forced by an avatarfag who first claimed to have joined the sharty in 2023, before changing the date to 2022 and later 2021. Contrary to popular belief, this page was not created by him, and was most likely created by his 'cord xister. The variant was samefagged to the point where 5 "subvariants" were made in less than a week.

Due to Vlodson essentially being an avatarfag hiding behind a "variant", some teens had resorted to posting it for the first time since its inception as a form of bait. However, this was far less common than would be expected, indicating that Vlodson was so coally even most baiters didn't want anything to do with him. Posts from the real avatarfag can be identified by mentions of "Vlodson Derangement Syndrome" and Vlodson "ruining your day". Due to the difficulty in differentiating the two, it is easier to assume that all of it is bait, and it is recommended that you supersage, spam, or hide any thread forcing this vantablack nuvariant. The samefag forcing this brimmy variant has since had xis name permanently set to "Vlodson" by QVQTE nevermind they removed xis name because xhe used xis nameroll to become even more of a massive attentionwhoring faggot.

It's widely considered to be a dead variant now that nobody even cares about the "variant" (well, nobody actually cared about it to begin with, the only difference is that far fewer 'teens are responding to the Vlodsonfag) but every now and then the Vlodsonfag will force xer slop for around half an hour, before inevitably being banned for 12 hours.

Design

Vlodson is an amalgam of many variants at once: NAS (likely Wojak) edit of Nojak was taken as a basis, when much smaller ears and nose from Impjak were attached to it. Both eyes were taken from Cobson's right eye. Finally, the mouth was taken from baby edit of Amerimutt. Nobody actually looks like Vlodson, so it's impossible to use it for soyquoting or OC creation. The combination of all these gems created the most brimmy variant of all time. Many have gone as far as to call him the prophesized Poopson.

TRVTHNVKES

• Vlodson utterly and miserably fails to meet any standard of qualifying as a soyjak, it lacks a stubble, it has no glasses, and is rarely (if ever) used to mock soyboys in any capacity.
• It is unsuitable for both soyquoting and self-inserting:
  • This is because of the fact that nobody looks like Vlodson, as well as the fact that it is an incredibly ugly piece of shit to look at. which would normally drive off any desire for anyone to self-insert as Vlodson (of course, except for the Vlodsontranny xerself).
  • One could argue that it can be used to mock slavs, but there are clearly much better variants you can use to actually mock slavs.
• Vlodson lacks any charm that most other variants have, and as such is useless for anyone who desires to make OC. Over the course of the Sharty's history, there have been many different variants that have appeared, and because of the fact that it is really difficult to make a popular nuvariant, it is safe to say that nearly every soyjak phenotype has been discovered, with the popular variants having a key use. Vlodson on the other hand has none of the characteristics of being a good variant, and if it weren't for the relentless forcing, it would've been forgotten about long ago. Do you want to depict slavs? Use Kuzjak or that one subvariant of Tyrone that I forgot the name of (wait I remember what the subnas is called now, it's called "Bóbr" or the "kurwa guy".) Do you want to depict babies/children? Simple, use the Babyjak. Do you perhaps want to depict something ugly? Not a problem, use Meximutt, or make the ten gorillionth slopjak of the namefag that you dislike. Do you want to self-insert for some reason? That's fine, just use Neutralplier or Cobson. The point being, literally every possible way you can think of using Vlodson (if you are deranged or retarded enough to consider using this pathetic excuse of a "variant") can be substituted and replaced with a pre-existing variant/subvariant that can do the job ten times better.
• Recently the Vlodsonfag has tried to make up for the fact that Vlodson is useless NAS shitstone by saying that the purpose of this """soyjak""" is actually to mock the userbase, like some sort of "meta-ironic commentary", even though there is an edit of Alicia that already fulfills this purpose. Vlodsonfag is also a Vlodsonnigger, showing his hand in a thread where he asks people how to filter a frogGOD spamming soymojis in his brimstone threads.

The GET

On August 21st, 2025, Vlodson was BTFO'd by post 12777777, it reads "dont let vlodson steal it", in reference to the GET itself. This has sealed Vlodson's fate as both coal and sharty culture.

Trivia

• Recently, it has been confirmed by a staff member in the Sharty IRC that the Vlodson spammer didn't even put the time and effort into making that pathetic excuse of a "variant". Xhe only came up with the name for the variant and then forced the everliving shit out of it for some reason. (Seriously, only a NEET would have this level of forcing shit nobody cares about.)
• The statement above only makes the Vlodson spammer's relentless forcing of the variant even more pathetic than it already was. Proving once again that the Vlodsonfag is a talentless nigger that should just love himself already.
• The Vlodsonpedo has been severely mindbroken by Quote and is being a whiny little faggot due to the jannies not letting xer avatarfag as xis favourite NAS shitstone xhe transhearts so much. In fact, xhe is so mindbroken that xhe made a few videos projecting xer power-fantasies (one of them being about making Femquote a heckin' slutta 4 BVC, which is oddly reminiscent of the other awful bait that has shat up the catty such as spadefaggotry and goonerslop.), these videos, of course, being an obvious attempt of coping with the fact that xhe is a pathetic little faggot that can only gain fame by autistically spamming all over the catty and overall being an annoying and useless cunt.
• The Vlodson spammer had a mental breakdown when the jannies started to delete his posts seemingly out of spite.^🗝️

Gallery

• 
  Vlodson as a jewish nigger pedophile.
• 
  FALSENVKE (xhe will be stoned for making this)
• 
  Nigger vlodson ACKing
• 
  Vlodson shown as brimstone.
• 
  Perhaps the most brimmy mashup, and contender for worst 'jak ever, appearing to mix Vlodson, Zillyjak, and glegle. The closest we got to Poopson so far (as if the """variant""" itself wasn't already a complete bastardisation of soyjak culture)
• 
  Yep, it's true! The vlodsonpedo didn't even MAKE the variant.