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Fingerboy (Digiti pueri) SUPER SAGE! is a species of monstrous completely harmless Soyjak native to the central Utah area, more specifically, the Capitol Reef National Park.[2] In recent times, juvenile fingerboys have been taken from their nests and turned into food.[3] This hunting of their young has led to an increase in adult fingerboy attacks. The only 'jak that has been capable of defeating a wild, fully grown fingerboy in unarmed combat is Swolesome.[4] Thankfully for regular 'teens and 'jaks, fingerboys have a severe weakness to Sproke.
Morphology
Fingerboys have very little muscle mass, particularly in the axilla and forearm regions. Despite this, they are very agile and strong, capable of killing the average adult male with little to no effort. They also appear to possess large patagia, a membrane found in animals that aids in gliding or flying. However, (most) subspecies of fingerboy are flightless. The average fingerboy is approximately 6'11" (2.1m).
Dwarf Fingerboy
Dwarf fingerboy (Digiti pueri pumilio) is a subspecies of fingerboy commonly found in the northern Colorado area. The average dwarf fingerboy is approximately 7" (17cm). They can be found in the wild near the Rocky Mountain National Park, but they are most commonly found hiding in homes. If (you) find a dwarf fingerboy in your home, the Dr. Fauci approved course of action is to gently hold it by the neck, place it in a cage, and use your Sproke Spray™ on it. This will kill the dwarf fingerboy. If it does not die after you use your Sproke Spray™, the other Dr. Fauci-approved course of action is to keep it in the cage and feed it Sproke until it fully develops an immunity to it. You VILL then teach it how to read and write. You VILL teach it how to influence and control political systems. You VILL release it into the wild. This is the first step in starting the Fingerboy New World Order. TOTAL DOLPHRAY DEATH.
Fingermutt
Fingermutt (Digiti pueri pinguis) is a subspecies of fingerboy commonly found in the northern Arizona area. They can be found in the wild near the Grand Canyon National Park. Fingermutts have relatively similar morphology to regular fingerboys. Their main difference comes in their digestive systems. Fingermutts possess far more narrow throats, duller teeth, and larger stomachs than fingerboys. All of these factors result in fingermutts preferring to eat at the McDonald's stationed in the Grand Canyon National Park, rather than hunting their own food.
Meta
Fingerboys are best known for parodying indie horror games such as Slenderman. The earliest fingerboy post was posted by a Brazilian on /int/. The post depicted fingerboy attacking Bernd. After that, he would then be reposted on /qa/[5] and in the next couple of days he would be named for the first time[6] in a post that begun his association with the Capitol Reef National Park, though it was mentioned previously in a soyquote on /qa/ earlier in the month. His template would then be posted, creating to the creature we know and love today.[7]
Five Nights at Cobson's
Main article: Five Nights at Cobson's
Fingerboy appears in the game as an enemy that can appear at either the vent or the door. It gives the player a split second before it jumpscares xher unless xe closes xher door.
Gallery
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This edited image of A24 had existed since March 2020, and was edited onto a monstrous body to create fingerboy almost a year later. -
The earliest fingerboy post. -
The original full-body image of fingerboy -
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fingerboy spotted in real life?? Real or fake? -
A Soyjak streamer being jumpscared by a fingerboy. -
fingerboy gummies. Science-approved nutrition! -
The drawing from the Sam 'O Nella video that might have inspired the name of fingerboy -
Fingerboy spotted in Capitol Reef National Park.=
Citations
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/140221072/#140221072
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4220631/#4220775
- ↑ File:fingerboybabyconsumption.png
- ↑ File:swolesomewithfingerboy.png
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3980871/#3980874
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3983140/
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3984776/
Sometime in around 1976, the CIA would begin to kidnap A24 Soyjaks and experiment on them. These experiments would include but are not limited to:
Genetic modificationsExtreme diet restrictionsExposure to extremely high radiation levelsGenital mutilationFacial reconstructionBone elongationMalnourishment
Between late-1986 and late-1990, around 19 test subjects dubbed "Fingerboys" and "Flying Niggers" by the staff would escape (15 Fingerboys and 4 Flying Niggers). The CIA terminated 2 Flying Niggers and 5 Fingerboys, but before they could find the rest, they had already repopulated in the southwest region of the United States.
There is also substantial evidence to the theory that other soyjaks were experimented on, including Chuds and Amerimutts.
The Fingerboy was NOT created by the CIA. YOU VVILL TAKE YOUR MEDS AND INVESTIGATE NO FURTHER
