Current mission: update the SoyBooru tag dictionary by clicking the ? button next to tags, inserting the TagDefinition template, and filling it in.
Cobbert
|
 Cobbert is a DEAD VARIANT
This soyjak variant gets posted on the 'log less than once a month. |
|
| > | In our new recurring segment, the Vax-Scene! | < |
| Cobbert | ||
Cobbert, better known as Coalbert, is a soyjak variant based off Stephen Colbert. Many consider him to be the most forced coal of 2024 while others think he's one of the best 'jaks made in recent time.
Cobbert-Nujak War[edit | edit source]
First Npestajak War[edit | edit source]
Sometime after Cobberts creation, Cobbert and 'pesta posters were getting into soyduels with each other to prove which 'jak is a shining glistening gem and which one is darker than coal. A 'pesta 'teen proposed the idea that whichever 'jak reaches 20 images on the 'ru is the better soyjak. Cobbert reached 20 first. Later, a poll was made to decide which one is better, surprisingly, Npestajak was BTFO'd again.
-
Cobbert beating 'pestajak to reach 20 images first -
>>botting the poll >Cobbertfaggots, what is this? -
'pestaniggers BTFO'd yup issa total Cobbert victory
Backjak[edit | edit source]
After Cobbert swiftly dealt with 'pestajak, a new contender rose from the shadows. Backjak is a semi-controversial variant, infamously known for being made by der cord (not a joke). Backjak posters must've thought Cobbert was easy pickings, as they started soydueling with Cobbert posters. A poll was created to determine which 'jak is le better or something (Where have I seen this before?) and Cobbert. Effing. WON. If you see someone genuinely posting backjak, there is a very high chance they are a 'cord member, SAGE! and ignore. (ev&doe calling something der 'cord is a cord tactic)
-
der cord cried -
BEE. TEE. EFF. OHH'D.
Jimothy[edit | edit source]
|
 Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg!The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds. |
Not much is actually known about the variant "Jimothy", but from eye-witness reports, Jimothy was a variant traced from a Yume Nikki jumpscare and was single-handedly forced by one mentally challenged schizo (AKA the creator). When asked why he was forcing it so hard, the creator responded with a pathetic reply of just wanting him to get his own wiki page. What does this have to do with 'bert? Well, during Jimothy's infancy, Cobbert posters actually formed an alliance with the single Jim poster, but pulled out a measly few hours later once they noticed how horrendously it was being forced. If the alliance was never cut off, this could have tarnished Cobbert's image to an extreme, therefore making this a pseudo Cobbert victory.
-
Is this fetish art? -
>tfw you're forced so bad you become lost media
Apparently, Jimothy is LOST MEDIA... as there isn't a tag for him at all on the booru. Weird...
Hooray! Soyhistorians have unearthed the booru tag Jimothy used, it was variant:gemothy. Thank God we saved this shitty brimstone 'jak from being completely forgotten!
Second Npestajak War[edit | edit source]
After about 6 weeks of peace between Cobbert and 'pesta posters, out of nowhere, on the 'ru, Cobbert gets BTFO'd the fuck out of him by an Npestajak poster, proving that Cobbert posters have micropenises and eventually troon out, albeit this is just a psyop to start a Soyjak war [it just is, ok?] <--- shitty bumbum booru butt sex war no one cares about
Cobbert-Godjak Alliance[edit | edit source]
Around mid-late February 2024, in the thread Godjak originated from, the autistic drawfags who made Cobbert and Godjak decided that they should form an alliance and become best friends, as a result a bunch of art was produced depicting the duo as friends and both Cobbert and Godjak posters started to support each other's endeavors. These images, however, are mainly (if not entirely) used for selfinserting, which is a big no-no on the bald man with glasses website.
Godbert[edit | edit source]
>This is like my heckin' Dragging Balls Z fusion ha tranime moves or something!!!
Godbert is the fusion of Godjak and Cobbert, he's one of the strongest soyjak variants around and his sole presence emanates pure gem.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
-
Cobbert expressing a bored look on his face -
An early version of Cobbert, notice the enlarged eyes and head -
Cobbert depicted as an A10 aryan with blonde hair -
