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England

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(You) shall use the King's English.
This hamburger concerns OIROIMPOVERISHEDS innitExcrete upon each editorial for the 13 colonies
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The Anglo-Saxons are ARYAN peopleAryan innit


Some theorise Anglos are descendant of the (((Jews))).
>I COME YOUR COUNTRY RAPE WOMANS AND STAB MEN
>literally 1948, or however the tea is partied
This page is a ruby. (You) VILL help by further refining it into a gem.

Simply a typical lad in England

England is a great and prosperous land of the British Isles, sharing a border with Wales to the west and Scotland to the north. England is contained within the United Kingdom and, furthermore, the British commonwealth. In addition, it is recognised among the general populace most commonly by its foul weather and citizens. Its cities increasingly consist of unsanitary imbeciles shoving their shopping carts filled to the utter brim with garbage and "wares" through the street, and a far greater quantity of pubs than that of places in worship in Poland, with the remainder being faecal matter not a soul is seriously concerned with.

It's all England. Simple as.

Englishmen are known for speaking in a more sophisticated, clear and concise manner with a strong accent[a], being utterly foolish, having atrocious "gratis apocethary", being utterly foolish, being homosexual, being full of unsanitary imbeciles, as well as, pardon if I am repeating myself, being utterly foolish. This brings a tragic reckoning to their glory because their culture was once rich and robust, being one of the brightest countries of mens’ hide on earth with many a respected territory over the sea.

In recent times, many persons in England and the Kingdom at large have been enraged at Führer Starmer's utterly foolish immigration and internet policies, and have protested these on many occasions, showing that it may not be a country full of utterly foolish goyslaves and shitskins. Something that came of this was the game Pathways, which chuds re-appropriated and now post nonstop coal about, to Starmer's dismay. This was, of course, an Anglo-Saxon Win.

Unfortunately, England, collectively referred to by retards as Britain, (along with France) is subject to safe edgy scrutiny, because trannies and libtards are best known for being notably unfunny.

It's also the country where DnB comes from.

History

(You) WILL fill this section with relevant information NOW.

Pre-Roman

According to Soyence, the first Neanderthal populations settled in the British isle ~900,000 years ago by use of land bridges, and had continued to live there until extinction (~40,000 years ago). After them, the Cro-Magnon peoples had inhabited the area and continued to inhabit said area throughout their evolution. When the last Ice Age ended, the area was re-inhabited by some of the earliest Breton ancestors (bronze age peoples, mostly), and had created the Stonehenge between ~3000 and ~1500 BC. In the Iron age, the isles were almost entirely inhabited by Celts such as the Bretons and early Gaelic peoples.

Roman and Germanic invasion

Britain was invaded by Julius Caesar in 55 and 54 BC as part of Gallic Wars, mostly because the people from Britain angered him and such, though he completely failed. After many attempts of invasion, Claudius, as ordered by Caesar, annexed all of the English territories and took them for Rome in 43 AD.

In the early 5th century, Germanic BarbARYANS, utterly non consensually fucked the Roman occupants of England, forcing them to retreat with bleeding anuses. This left England occupied by the Germanic tribes, most notably Angles, Saxons, and Jutes[Ring any bells?] who went on to repopulate the country and, for the most part, coexist with the local Gaelic tribes. However, this would not last.

Anglo-Saxon and Viking Obsession

During 6th century, most of the kingdoms in England were pagan but alas, in the 7th century, the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms were all converted into Christianity by missionaries from Ireland or Europe. In the 8th century, Vikings were invading and pillaging Europe, this includes the Anglo-Saxons who were once very obsessed, so much that eventually they ended up settling in the lands of England.

Various rulers attempted to unite Anglo-Saxon kingdoms into one, but Wessex is very successful and so in 927, King Æthelstan I finally united England into one kingdom; people are happy, the Vikings married and made families, battlefields became land farms, and everybaldi lived a happy life ever after. A COMPLETE UTTER LIBEL! IT WAS INDEED, NOT OVER YET! Rather, only the beginning of a new obsession...

Anglo-Franco War

It all started in 1066 because three of the most powerful kings in the continent of Europe, Harold Godwinson the crowned, William the lsf duke of Normandy and Harald Hardrada the Viking king of Norway. William claimed the thrown was promised by Edward the confessor, while Harold was the crowned king, and Harald was the aforementioned king whose main trait was being a Viking doing Viking things.

On October 14 1066, Normandy won the war because Harold got shot on his eye by an arrow and xis army and strategy is bad, Which gave William the Conqueror title and ruled till he died on September 9 1087 and normandy ruled england from 1066 to 1154. Also that war changed the English language or whatever Oversimplified told me on 'tube.

Anglo-Franco War: (The electric Bongalo)

After England got it's new dynasty and Magna Carta being signed, Anti-semitism rose to great heights and in 1290, England became the first country to permanently expel Jews🗝️. A succession crisis in France led to the Hundred Years' War (1337-1453), a series of shitflinging and large wars involving the peoples of both nations. In that war a random female soldier who was once thought to be a male knight, whose name was Joan of Arc, joined the French side but was later set on fire, ironically the French soldiers she led won the war after her death.

War of the Roses

After England got utterly humiliated by France, its people decided to blame all their problems on His Grace. Because of this, the Yorks and the Lancasters fought a war to become the ruling branch of the English Monarchy. Before the war, the Lancasters had ruled, but the Yorks took the throne and held it for most of the war until the Lancaster branch died out and someone, who was a Tudor but had a Lancaster mother, succeeded to the throne through conquest and ended the war🗝️. His name was Henry VII. Father of the fat wife killer King or something like that.

Tudor Dynasty

Henry VII's reign centralized England🗝️, which is heccin' unprincipled overreach. After he died, Henry VIII succeeded to the throne, but he was fat and killed his wives or something. He also created his own religion because the heccin' wholesome tradcath Pope said he couldn't divorce his wife. This is known as the Reformation by Anglo-Saxons ev&oe the Reformation had already happened years earlier or something to that effect. Henry VIII supposedly couldn't produce a male heir ev&oe he literally had Edward VI who was a devoted Protestant King. After Edward died, Mary succeeded to the throne and she was bloody, particularly towards Protestants, which is why the name stuck (they were all bloody).

Then Mary died and Elizabeth succeeded, and she defeated the Latinx armada o algo, which is unsurprising since they probably just sailed on tacos and takis or something like that. There were also these really heccin' extreme Protestants who wanted modesty and believed in heccin' bigoted antisemitism🗝️ from Martin Luther, who had a dream. Because the middle ground is always reasonable and trve, Elizabeth I went for moderate Protestantism. She also had a Scottish cousin who she executed. Shakespeare was around at this time, but wars and government are the only real history, so it doesn't matter.

Stuart Period

Elizabeth was a foid, so she didn't want to have any kids if she didn't have to. Because of this, the person who succeeded her was the then Scottish King, James VI. Of England, he was James I, and he was a Protestant. After he died, Charles I succeeded, but there was a Parliament by this point, originally just to serve Monarchs, and they fought a civil war against him. A Puritan named Oliver Cromwell basically became dictator after Parliament won the civil war🗝️, but after he died, his son succeeded him ev&oe it was meant to be a heccin' wholesome commonwealth protectorate republic, and his son didn't rule as well. Charles II got restored to the throne because of this.

When Charles II died, his brother James II succeeded, but James was a Catholic. William of Orange, who was a Dutch Protestant, decided that he wanted to invade England and take the throne from the native tradcath divinely ordained ruler of the land🔒. He eventually got invited by the treacherous Protestant parliament to become King, and this established Parliamentary sovereignty after the Williamites beat the Jacobites (they're just called that, okay?). They called this the Glorious Revolution, and Parliament and William changed the law so that no Catholic could succeed to the throne.

An American Revolutionary War soldier, as a soyjak, standing confidently and holding his gun
An American Revolutionary War soldier, as a soyjak

William's reign is covered in the Stuart period because his wife, Mary II, who ruled with him until her death, was a Stuart. This is when they created the (((Bank of England))). After William died, Anne succeeded to the throne, and this was when the Acts of Union were passed, creating the Kingdom of Great Britain, and the rest is British, not English, history.

Georgian Era

The Georgian Era is named after the Kings at the time: George I, George II, George III and George IV. Britain and Prussia win the Seven Years War in 1763, defeating Spain and France, so Britain acquirred vast territories in North America, the Caribbean, West Africa, and India. The British Empire continued to grow throughout this era, Australia and New Zealand were claimed by Britain and colonised shortly after. However, the Brits would soon lose a key part of their empire.

The American Revolutionary War began in 1775, because Amerimutts didn't want to pay taxes for tea, or something. It started because Britain kept increasing taxes so it could try and pay off it's war debts from the Seven Years War. The Dutch Republic, Spain, France and some of the thirteen colonies teamed up (just like my heckin' fanfictionarino) to try and defeat Britain and establish an independent United States. Great Britain formally recognises the independence of the original 13 American States in the Treaty of Paris of 1783.

The 19th century begins with the Act of Union between Great Britain and Ireland, becoming the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. The Abolition of the Slave Trade Act came in 1807 and made it illegal to trade or own slaves in the British Empire. Then loads of SNCA about happens (excluding the Napoleonic War), King William IV dies in 1837 and Victoria is made Queen.

A British soldier showing his dominance over India

Victorian Era

The Victorian Era is named after the heckin' funny meme "a victorian child would die if they saw ...". The Great Famine kicks off in Ireland and many people die, because they don't have their precious potatoes, or something. Child labour grew massively and victorian children suffered cruel jobs like a chimney sweep or coal miner. The industrial revolution continued and made the UK the most urbanised and advanced country in the west. Railways were also very important, allowing goods and people to travel across the glorious country.

Britain and France aided the Ottoman Empire in the Crimean War and beat Russia. However the British public were very pissed off with the war as there were unnecessary losses and casualties, (who would even want to help a turkroach anyway?).

The British Empire owned all of India by the end of the Victorian Era and owned major parts of Africa and SNCA: Australia, New Zealand, Canada.

Edwardian Era

The Edwardian Era is named after King Edward VII and extends until 1914, when WW1 starts. Australia gains some independence from the UK, but not fully independent yet. Britain enter the second Boer War and BTFO the Boer republics. A Liberal party gets elected after years of tories and does some SNCA, improving living standards. The 1908 Olympic Games were held in London.

The Triple Entente forms in 1907, meaning France, Russia and the UK are now in a military alliance and best friends! (wholesome!)

First World War

George V was the King of the UK. Lloyd George was the prime minister of the UK. The Royal Navy destroyed the German navy and the army did something too! (Not much territorial gain was made by any side in WW1) The War showed bigoted sexist men that women could work and they gained more rights, no one cares though.

The British Empire grew even more and got Palestine Israel (bad goyim) and some parts of Africa, such as Cameroon and Togo.

Inter-war Period

These times were the years between the two world wars, (no shit nigger). The IRA declared war against Britain for Irish Independence and got most of their country in the end, except Northern Ireland. Dominions started to become more independent, being able to set their own foreign policy. The effects of the Balfour Declaration began to happen and British jews started moving to the Mandate of Palestine. France really wanted Palestine and other territories surrounding it, so they supplied jewish terrorists to attack the Mandates, but nothing happened.

The Welfare state continued to expand at home. During the mid 1930s, Oswald Mosley gained popularity as a politician, as he appeared to have the opinion of the British public at the time. Oswald Mosley wanted to get jewish businesses out of England and put English business first🗝️also, wanting to avoid war, but actually doing it, but the jews and police used the law to shut him down, also Oswald became a bit schizo. Britain kept being best buddies with France and the USA. Britain thought it could use naval limitation agreements to seek out world peace and continued to do this. British foreign policy in the 1930s was "appeasement", they thought if they were nice to Hitler and friends then they would stop. Examples of Appeasement: giving Hitler the Sudetenland, letting Mussolini attack Ethiopia, letting Hitler annex Austria. Neville Chamberlain was praised for his policy at the time of the Munich Agreement, but by 1939 was hated for it. Britain guaranteed Poland's Independence along with France and then WW2 came about.

Second World War

The Dominions didn't join the war when it began, but did a bit later. France fell quickly, and it looked like Britain would lose for quite a while, until Germany declared war on the soviets and the USA joined the war. (((Winston Churchill))) managed to negotiate with Franklin D Roosevelt, meaning Britain got loads of aid and lend lease. The Allies fought Italy (with much help from Germany's Afrikakorps) in Africa. Meanwhile at home, women proved they could work (again) and the royal family kept spirits high at home. Britain and the Allies won World War Two! Europe was split in two, with NATO on the West: protecting capitalism, democracy (and jews). The East was controlled by the Warsaw Pact and upheld communist views. Germany was also split into these two sides.

But Britain had promised decolonisation and independence for it's empire and it looked like the sun had began to set on the British Empire...

After-War Period (Cold War)

After the second World War, the British really needed a welfare state. This led to Labour's landslide election and the Tories' exit. The National Health Service was set up, providing free tax-paid healthcare for everyone! The NHS seemed to be the gem that would save the party. National Insurance was set up, among other welfare reforms. The UK had massive debt from the war and had to fallback on the empire. The Partition was made, splitting India and Pakistan, giving them independence. The UK was also one of the founding members of NATO and the (((United Nations))). The British Empire also gave way for Palestine and Israel to become nations, following the promised Balfour declaration.

Not much really happened that wasnt a worldwide event, the UK kept decolonising and stayed allied with the West.

Argentina seething at Britain because they own the Falklands
Britain WON, btw

Modern Britain (1979–present)

The period starts off with Margret Thatcher, a conservative who hates socialism and communism.🗝️ However, she was extremely hated because she caused alot of unemployment and high interest rates. Some faggots started talking about Nuclear demilitarisation, no one cared. The British territory Northern Ireland and Ireland faced many attacks and the attacks even made it onto mainland Britain. This was because Britain owned Northern Ireland and Irish Nationalists and the Irish Republican Army believe it belongs to them, whilst Loyalists and Ulsterists believe it belongs to the UK. The two groups would use violent methods to achieve their ways, they often used bombs, carbombs, guns and more bombs. This would rage on until 1998.

Falklands War: The Falkland Islands are islands in the Atlantic ocean, that Britain rightfully own. Argentina think they own the islands because it's close to them. If this logic and distance was applied to Britain, they would own most of North-West Europe. In 2013, a referendum occurred to decide the sovereignty: In a turnout of 92%, 99.8% voted to remain a British territory, with only three votes against. Argentina got beat quickly in a few days and sunk the ARA General Belgrano.

John Major became prime minister after and did SNCA and sent troops to Iraq.

Tony Blair became prime minister after because the goyim were fed up with the conservatives. Tony Blair let the (((Bank of England))) the power to set the base rate of interest autonomously. The Good Friday Agreement came in 1998 and ended the troubles in Ireland. Northern Ireland got better democratic abilities gaining an assembly and an executive. It aimed to keep as many troops out of Northern Ireland as possible and demilitarise the Irish republicans. Tony Blair supported the war on terror and sent troops to both the Iraq War and the Afghan War. After Tony Blair resigned, Gordon Brown came into power and ended the British involvement in Iraq, he also did quite well in the 2008 financial crisis.

David Cameron became prime minister after a Conservative and Liberal Democrats coalition. He also legalised same-sex marriage in England and Wales, btw. David Cameron is best known for the Brexit campaign, where the UK voted to leave the European Union. This would lead to years of retards metawhining and blaming everything on Brexit. He also intervened in Libya. He resigned in 2016.

Theresa May became the next prime minister. Unemployment rose to a record high again. She increased funding for the NHS and made a plan for net-zero greenhouse gas emissions by 2050. She resigned in 2019.

Boris Johnson became the next prime minister. He is best known for "getting Brexit done" as he campaigned. He enforced national lockdowns, vaccine rollouts and sent aid to Ukraine. He broke these rules and threw a party at 10 Downing Street (where the PM operates and lives). Mass resignations happened in his cabinet and he resigned in 2022.

Liz Truss was the next prime minister. Queen Elizabeth II passes away on September 8th, Charles III ascends to the throne and becomes King. (Charles would likely have not become King, if princess Diana was still alive. Because he was horrible to her, the public wouldn't have allowed it. There was mass outrage in the 90s and many Brits disapproved of him ever becoming a King) Liz Truss lasted 49 days in position of Prime Minister, being the shortest ever. A head of lettuce lasted longer then a prime minister. She resigned in 2022.

Rishi Sunak became the next prime minister. He was the first Hindu prime minister, he is best known for looking like the rat from Flushed Away. Rishi cut NHS waiting lines and increase AI government involvement. Rishi kept funding Ukraine and also supported Israel in the Gaza War. He resigned in 2024. (Rishi is like Root because they're both dirty jeets)

Kier Starmer's censorship. It's just getting started image parodied as It's just getting censored with a cobson Kier Starmer in the background
It's just getting censored.

Kier Starmer is the former prime minister of the UK. Labour won the 2024 General Election and Kier became Prime Minister. For the goyim, times looked promising as years of the Tories and stalling Brexit was bad. His Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, increased taxes by very large amounts and is hated by the public. Starmer supports Ukraine and supports Israel and pretends like he doesn't anymore. Starmer appointed Peter Mandelson, who was friends with Epstein, btw. (Peter Mandelson was also hated in the 90s aswell, because of financial issues) Kier kept letting brownoid immigrants come across the channel and had a clear bias against the British population of the UK, when responding to incidents across the UK. Starmer is best known for advancing Agenda 2030 by trying to introduce Digital ID to the British Public. Thankfully, this was met with extreme backlash and Starmer pulled out. Starmer introduced the Online Safety Act to protect kids from porn, so when they want to look at porn they have to prove they're 18. As a result, VPN bans are now being discussed! The Immigration crisis gets worse everyday with rapes or murders. Throughout Starmer's prime minister time (idk what to call it) many many riots and protests have taken place against islam, niggers and illegal immigration,🗝️most notably Belfast and Southport. (which we gemmed up, btw) Starmer labelled these riots as "far-right", but the British are learning that labels don't work anymore. Starmer had a lower approval rate than Hitler at the end of his time in Germany and resigned in 2026.

Andy Burnham is the current prime minister of the UK and he is also a WEF-affiliated ZOG. He plans to make the North of England more included in politics. So far, he has made bus fairs £2 and made a tiktok about what (You) call a bap (bread roll)

Current Political Situation:
  • The current Green Parties in GB supports radical Islam and is led by a gay jew named Zack Polanski. He has suggested at killing other party leaders and received no punishment, proving two-tier government and policing yet again.
  • The current Labour Party is led by Andy Burnham, obviously. Ironically, Burnham is affiliated with a different party, the Cooperative Party.
  • The current Liberal Democrat party is led by Ed Davey, a ZOG who supports digital ID, they've been irrelevant since WW1.
  • The current Conservative Party (Tories) is led by a black woman, and the party keeps making false promises whilst pretending to put Britain first, the conservatives aren't coming back, geg.
  • The Reform Party is led by Nigel Farage, he was once anti-globalist and hated the EU, UN and WEF. But, it looks like he is conformed by them and making you think you are doing something by voting for him. Nigel keeps getting into financial trouble by stealing, to put it simply. It is looking like Reform will win the next general election (ev&oe it is in 2029, everyone just hates Labour)
  • The Restore Party was started by and is ran by Rupert Lowe, who ironically is more Zionist than Farage. However, Rupert wants to ban kosher and halal slaughter and suggests the King isn't a white Briton, which can mean he's a Jacobite. The Restore co-founder also suggested Farage is a sellout to the Tories.

Future

Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following page or section was written during a schizo episode.
(You) VVILL remind the author to take his meds.

Quote gets arrested, June 16th 2027. Surprisingly, Quote still runs the sharty. (and it still uses vichan) After months of not complying with the age verification for all social media, Quote is arrested. It is unknown whether it is because he didn't want to comply or he forgot about the sharty. Lord Burnham declares soyjaks illegal as they offend innocent trans folx and promote racism or however the kingdom is united.

The year is 2032, two years into Agenda 2030, Ronald comes out of hiding and brings the sharty online without the government seeing. Months of preparation happen and Ronald launches an incel revolution against King Schwab. The Sharty wins and renames the country to United Kingdom of the sharty and the 'farms. Cobson dies in battle against Nigerian UN soldiers who kill him with bibisi launchers. Chudjak avenges Cobson by slaying Lord Starmer and declares "Cobson WABAG" across the kingdom. Ronald retires and gives the crown to Boot, the real admin thrembo.

Things England likes

Things England dislikes

  • France
  • Ireland
  • Scotland
  • Being told that their food is bland
  • Being told that America saved them in WWI and WWII
  • Losing in the World Cup
  • Charles III

Britbong

>>
Anonymous 04/14/12(Sat)18:03 No.136042832

>go to england
>head to restaurant for food
>watch is set to timezone of hometown
>ask someone what time it is
>TOYME? WOTS THAT?
>notice he doesn't have a watch
>no one in england has a watch
>big ben starts to chime
>everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers
>man crashes his car trying to count the bongs
>waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers
>man running down the street: OI IT'S 7 BONG
>mfw

Notable persons from Our Great Land

Barry, 63
  • Any unsanitary imbecile who abstains from rinsing their teeth. <--- selfquall unbearable homosexual

Regard in addition

Notes

  1. ↑ Even doe they invented the language
England is part of a series on
Countries of the Soysphere
Miscellaneous[+]

SoyBooru ♦ Flagging ♦ List of ethnicities ♦ Countryfag

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