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A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak
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THE FOLLOWING FEATURES  SLOW-BURN, CHEAP JUMPSCARE FREE KINO!
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>What are your fetishesThe A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak (often shortened to just A24) is a slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino primary soyjak variant. He is best known for being one of the oldest variants, releasing just under four months after the original. He is also the first slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino soyjak to be traced from a real-life soyboy instead of being a Wojak derivative, also probably the most low-resolution soyjak.
History[edit | edit source]
On March 23, 2018, /tv/ exploded with a slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino discussion/mockery pertaining to the YouTube reactor James' Youniverse and his slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling, over-the-top kino soyface reaction to slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino capeshit movie trailers. The same day, somebody traced a soyjak of him and uploaded it to one of the mockery threads under the filename soy.png.[1]
Lore >oh my heccin fanfictionero[edit | edit source]
Alexander Birch Ford, nicknamed "A24" was born on March 23rd, 1989 in Boston, Massachusetts. He had a pretty rough childhood and was constantly bullied by a teenage Jerry Oberman due to his obsession with Star Wars and Disney movies when he was 13. He would later on in life apply to a job at Ford at the age of 22 and get fired 7 years later 
. In 2017, He would later become a movie critic. but would later become a gegBVLL due to his various shitty opinions. He's still criticizing movies to this day.
Naming[edit | edit source]
During and preceding the marketing campaign for The Lighthouse in mid-2019, the as-of-then unnamed soyjak became heavily associated with bone-chilling, character-development-driven, cheap-jumpscares-free, emotionally-draining, slow-burn "horror kino" created by A24, due to a Gigachad spammer with some kind of vendetta.[2][3] The connection has stuck ever since.
Mutation to a Fingerboys and Flying Niggers[edit | edit source]
See Fingerboys and Flying Niggers
Sometime in around 1976, the CIA would start kidnapping A24 soyjaks and experiment with them. In late 1986 to late 1990 around 19 test subjects called "Fingerboys" and "Flying Niggers" (15 Fingerboys and 4 Flying Niggers) would escape. The CIA terminated 2 Flying Niggers and 5 Fingerboys, but before they could find the rest they already repopulated enough to not go extinct.
Flying Niggers and Fingerboys are NOT real and NOT created by the CIA. You WILL take your meds and investigate no further.
See also[edit | edit source]
- Jacobson, the slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino deformed subvariant of A24.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
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A24 as the Anonymous logo. -
![This is often posted on /soy/ along with "What are your fetishes?"[4]](/images/thumb/4/41/Fetishes.png/105px-Fetishes.png.webp)
This is often posted on /soy/ along with "What are your fetishes?"[4] -
We aliens are the real aryans ⍜⍀ ⌇⍜⋔⟒⏁⊑⟟⋏☌ -
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IMMA FIRING MAH LAZER!!!
![This is often posted on /soy/ along with "What are your fetishes?"[4]](/File:Fetishes.png)
