Current mission: look through the wiki for articles that could fit in portals, then click the appropriate header, edit source, and add it to the list alphabetically. Example
Cigson
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 Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg!The following page or section was written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds. |
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Cigson is a disturbing criminal
Some actions taken by this individual are not in accordance with the law. They should not be replicated nor condoned. |
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Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!   Really well meme'd my friend!
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Cigson, also known as the King of Iron, is a recently renowned totally world famous ‘jak that was made in early February of 2026 by a user that goes as u/spadetwilight or “‘Apeson” on Reddit (absolute brimstone website btw.). The creator of Cigson was recently interviewed on A podcast that idfk know the name, and was payed $45,000 to attend. He says “though I may be the gemmiest, we needed someone to balance out the powers and reign of both supernovas and singularities.
Origins[edit | edit source]
Though originally an AIGod made by ██████, He decided to release it online to popular acclaim. However the ‘Sharty soon caught on to it, thus making the pencilslop version we see today. However ██████ didn’t really know what to do after witnessing this blatant one use iron on the ‘arty. Afterwards, he then made what was once pencilslop, turn into a full fleshed ‘Jak that has an interesting conflicting story.
Rise[edit | edit source]
Once created, he reached a vegetative state, in which for 4003 years he would sit practically lifeless in the lonely expanse of space. However, the creation of NASA (Not A Soyjak O Algo) led to the ability to send radio frequency to other celestial bodies and in directions of no return. In one such case in April of 1993 left an everlasting impact on the ‘arty. Ten years earlier, the explosion of SN 1983I in the NGC 4051 Galaxy melted an ongoing comet with the proto-body of Cigson. Once then unleashed, Cigson was still calm. Noticeable for at least 10 weeks, stated by professor Kikestein in October of ‘83, NASA sent a frequency produced and sampling a classic David Thoughey song “Gem Cobbity” which then awoke and agitated Cigson. For the next 10 months the only noticeable change to his proto body celestial form was his red aggressive raging body, but no obvious signs of vocal aggression.
Space travel[edit | edit source]
During a span of 10 years, he went undetected by scientists and researchers on the subject. The moment of disappearance was a click flash but the only thing of note was a sudden moment in which he opened his eyes. For years before that, he was just an overweight man levitating in space with iron ingots slowly gyrating and rotating around him. In this 10 period time, many people conspired on the disappearance of Cigson, and where he even came from in the first place.
Sudden Discovery[edit | edit source]
In June 5th 1988, A man by the name of Chris Chandler (not the same guy) discovered an old photo of his great grandfather Larry in a hidden obscure corner of his attic under an old bed frame. In this photo was nothing unusual, but on the back there was a strange text that wasn’t comprehendible at first, in which contained the phrase: “ av aol zahy aoha dpss mvyt huk aol lxbpspiypbt aoha dpss zbmmpjl, aol flhy vm aol kybn dpss zhjypmpjl.” unknowing what it meant he asked his uncle, who was an expert in cryptology and could decipher any code you gave him. He took a couple of weeks on it but eventually handed it back to Chris and it read “To the star that will form and the equilibrium that will suffice, the year of the drug will sacrifice.” He didn’t know what to say other than it must have been some corny poem his great grandfather made in his day. His grandfather Clyde told him that his dad was Infact “a spiritual influence on him”. Clyde told him he didn’t bother to speak to Larry that often , and even as a “only child” he still would rather goon than talk to his old man.
Tying it together[edit | edit source]
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Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards. |
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After the find, he managed to get in contact with James Beggs, the current head of NASA at the time. While he talked to Beggs, he mentioned Larry, talking about his strange mannerisms and odd affect on his grandpa. Beggs asked him if Larry ever said anything off putting that would add context to this whole conversation, and Chris said “Well like 10 years ago, my grandfather Clyde told me and my mom that he had a dream that just about described the appearance and scenario of exactly what is going on right now.” Larry is reported to of had possible other kids. In his dream he also described Proto-Cigson to have talked to him in only 2 exact words: “No Arrow.”. Larry was born on September 11th, 1933, and the numbers along with the text on the back of the photo written were “09/11/33”. And on the date of birth of Larry Oberman, was a man named William Luther Pierce.
William Luther Pierce[edit | edit source]
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 This page might be biased
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William Luther Pierce III was born in Atlanta Georgia, and grew up to be a heckin’ keyed neo nazi, and was prooven to be a sleeper agent for the FBI that was able to spot out any suspected communists in the country. When the word “cunny” was said infront of him, he reacted in the case of need and called law enforcement. On January 2nd 1969 he become the father of an unknown child. The child reportedly had a malformed disfigured head, in the shape that of a large bean. One day in 1983 his son was officially declared missing by the end of the night due to his son known to have always been at his apartment before 6:30. William was known for being a crazy man and stating unusual claims about politics and race, so he wasn’t necessarily the most trusted public figure, but when NASA discovered the open comet, Pierce called the police 46 times reporting that “his son was in space!”. He eventually was arrested for taking time out of police’s hands.
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He’s real.
When Chris heard this he brought up the fact that there were other photos in the box that he didn’t really skim through, and decided to drive back home. The next day he was scheduled a meeting with the CIA, in which he had the box in his custody. They looked through and instantly noticed something about the old photographs. They looked indescribable to them but what in the present day we would describe as Ai Generated. They really had no idea what was wrong with these photos except for one that they saw which was in color and was an actual photo, which was of William Pierce’s son, who is still yet to be identified. When the CIA saw this, they understood that there was something seriously wrong with this scenario. They managed to create contact with Pierce in his home where he explained that when the man in the sky appeared, the only photo of his son disappeared. Reportedly, when the photo disappeared, hundreds of old photos of a young man in the 1960s appeared in his living room.
When the photo disappeared, the portal infiltrated photos from the area it was going to relocate, and when it did, thousands of photos from years later slipped through the time frame. One photo was real as well, which was a photo identified years later to be taken in Golmud, China with the Polaroid 600 series, and taken by a man named ██████, and shows a photo of Cigson on planet Earth. The photo was taken on September 11th 1993, 60 years after Pierce and Larry were born. But past that, the CIA confiscated the box and Chris was never heard from again.
