CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.
Soyak: Difference between revisions
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He graduated from UC, berkeley with computer science degree and now works at apple | He graduated from UC, berkeley with computer science degree and now works at apple | ||
He still resides in California today, married to his wife, Megan. Together they had [[Nate (Soyjak)|Nate]] and [[Babyjak|caca]]. | He still resides in California today, married to his wife, Megan. Together they had [[Nate (Soyjak)|Nate]] and [[Babyjak|caca]]. Nevertheless Megan is routinely railed by Tyrone Sha'quan DeMichels, and Soyjak is alright with it. | ||
== Likes == | == Likes == | ||
Revision as of 17:17, 16 January 2025
Soyjak, also known as soyak or soijak, is a high quality, untraced, well drawn edit of the Wojak face as a soy boy. His characteristic features are his glasses, scraggly beard, and usually wide open mouth. The wide-mouthed expression he often has is known as the "Soylent Grin", and usually indicates that he is happy.
Early life
Main article: Origin of soyjak
Soyjak in his most well-known form, the "classic soyjak variant", was first posted to /int/ by a Swede on December 30th, 2017.[1] (swedish win btw)
On September 1 2021, Soyjak historians on /qa/ unearthed bombshell evidence that called into question everything we know about the origin of Soyjak by discovering possible "first jak" candidates which pre-dated the timescale for the previously-accepted "Out of Swedish Win" theory.[2]
As of 2026, research into this topic is still ongoing.
Early life (>I heckin love fanfiction!!!111)
Soyjak was born in San Francisco, California. Throughout his life, he always happily took whatever meds he was prescribed by Dr. Soyberg, washed down with soymilk. He was fed processed, microwaved and frozen food with poor nutrition as a child, which is the reason he has fucked up hormones and is 5'1 (155 cm) in height today.
He graduated from UC, berkeley with computer science degree and now works at apple
He still resides in California today, married to his wife, Megan. Together they had Nate and caca. Nevertheless Megan is routinely railed by Tyrone Sha'quan DeMichels, and Soyjak is alright with it.
Likes
- Nintendo Switch, and Nintendo in general
- Capeshit
- Meds
- Bugs
- Living in a sealed pod
- Wearing masks
- Thanos memes
- Soylent
- Jefre Cantu-Ledesma
- The Science (even doe he can barely understand it EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SCIENCE HAS DEBOONKED CHUDDIES or however the bugs are eaten)
- Brands that support BLM and trans rights
- Progressive Democracies
- Klaus Schwab(rest in power!!!) and his other WEF overlords
- Bluesky
- Breakfast For Dinner
- Hot sauce collections
- Bone-chilling slow burns
- His Funko Pop collection
- Sour Candy
- Optimistic nihilism
- Talk Tuah
- Prime
- Lunchly
- Whatever the image poster doesn't like
- Apple/Products from Apple
- Ukraine
- Neoliberalism
- 90s games
- Comic books
Dislikes
- 4chan
- Chuds
- Bloodmouths
- Homemade meals
- Rural people (except asian soy farmers)
- Shaving
- soyjak.party (
- Transphobia
- Toxic masculinity
- People with negative Reddit karma
- Jumpscares
- Science deniers and questioners
- Whatever the image poster likes
- Critical thinking (requires Ibuprofen and Xanax)
- Being called a cuck
- Zoomers
