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A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak

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THE FOLLOWING FEATURES SLOW-BURN, CHEAP JUMPSCARE FREE KINO!
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This article contains one or more dead links.(You) VVILL find archives of these links for future 'teens.
>What are your fetishes
>Early CGI was Horrifying

The A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak (often shortened to just A24) is a slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino primary soyjak variant. He is best known for being one of the oldest variants, having been released just under four months after the original. He is also the first slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino soyjak to be traced from a real-life soyboy instead of being a Wojak derivative, as well as the lowest-resolution classic variant.

A24 is a rollable name on soyjak.party.

History

On March 23, 2018, /tv/ exploded with a slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino discussion and mockery pertaining to the JewTube reactor James Youniverse and his slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling, over-the-top kino soyface reaction to slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino capeshit movie trailers. The same day, somebody traced a soyjak of him and uploaded it to one of the mockery threads under the filename soy.png.[1]

Lore >oh my heccin fanfictionero

Alexander Birch Ford, nicknamed "A24," was born on March 23, 1989 in Boston, Massachusetts. He had a pretty rough childhood and was constantly bullied at age 13 by a teenage Jerry Oberman over his obsession with Star Wars and Disney movies. He would later in life apply for a job at Ford at the age of 22 and get fired seven years later . He became a well-known movie critic in 2017, but eventually turned into a gegBVLL due to his various shitty opinions. He's still criticizing movies to this day.

Naming

During and preceding the marketing campaign for The Lighthouse in mid-2019, the as-of-then unnamed soyjak became heavily associated with bone-chilling, character-development-driven, cheap-jumpscare-free, emotionally-draining, slow-burn "horror kino" created by A24, due to a gigachad spammer with a vendetta.[2][3] The connection has stuck ever since.

Mutation

Sometime around 1976, the CIA would start kidnapping A24 soyjaks and experimenting with them. From late 1986 to late 1990, around 19 test subjects called "Fingerboys" and "Flying Niggers" (15 Fingerboys and 4 Flying Niggers) would escape. The CIA terminated 2 Flying Niggers and 5 Fingerboys, but before they could find the rest, they had already repopulated enough to avoid extinction.

Flying Niggers and Fingerboys are NOT real and were NOT created by the CIA. You WILL take your meds and not investigate further.

Reception

It is safe to say that A24 has been popular since his creation, and has always been regarded as one of the main soyjak variants alongside Soyjak, Gapejak, and Markiplier Soyjak. One could argue that he is not as popular as he used to be when compared to other main variants, with relatively few staff or namefags self-inserting as him. Still, he is regarded as a gemerald and was even used as the first logo of Soyjak Wiki.

Gallery

See also

  • Jacobson - The slow-burn, cheap-jumpscare-free, bone-chilling kino deformed subvariant of A24.

Snopes

A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Visit the Soyjak Variants portal for more.

Main variants

Variants with 1,000+ SoyBooru posts

SoyakA24 Slow-Burn SoyjakAliciaBerndBrandonChudjakCobsonCryboy SoyjakEl Perro RabiosoExcited SoyjakFeraljakGapejakImpish Soyak EarsKuzjakMarkiplier SoyjakMeximuttNojakShirtjakSmugjakSoytanTony Soprano SoyjakTwo Soyjaks PointingVlodson

Other variants

Common variants (Variants with 100-999 SoyBooru posts)

3kliksjakAbortion LoverAngryjakBeastjakBlakjakBudgiejakCatjakChugsjakCirrusCobbertCoinjakDubbbzjakDylanjakESAMET SoyjakFatjakFisheyejakFlartson

GodjakHot SauceHeadjakHydejakImhotepImpish SoyakIsaacIshish Soyak EarsIsraeli SoyjakItsoutgetinhereLennonjakMarkiplier Soyjak 2MonkeyjakMulletjakNotejakNorwegian SoyjakParrotjakPissluffarePlatejakPPPProtestantjakPunkjak'ojakReaction SoyjakRupturejakShotjakSidsonSlitherjakSmugletSnoojakSobotSoykio KidSyndromejakUncjakWeirdpenisYurjak

Miscellaneous


5'6 jak6soylentAsmattrBillyBinocular JakBlakjakBlartjakBlackpill JakBritsonBrojakBuckteeth SoyjakBurgerjakCasnatusCadojakChai BreakfastCheckjakChildutCigsonCrabjakCrimjakCutejakDaedalusonDarkiplierDnBjakDumjacqueEric ButtsEpsteinjakEviljakFat soyjak glassesFlubbertGimperGoopjakGuestjakHalojakHawleyjakHerculesHobojakIgnatiusJarboyJimmy NumaleKai CenatLactoriajakMamesonMentaljakMicroplasticsjakNeckbeardjakNeojakNostaljakNpestajakOranjakPacinojakPatriotjakPeasonPhillipPillsjakPolicejakQuirkjakScoutroosterShabbosjakSlatejakSloppySlurpjakSnopesjakSoyladyStuSusjakTalkingballjakThps_soyjakThunderf00tTrumpjakTvjakUglyfuckingthingUnijakUnpaintbucketable NiggerVidyajakVolcanojakWaljakWhalejakZjakZoomer on computervariant:unknownMarney

Soyjak trends

AmerimuttAre you soying what I'm soyingBabyjaksBased and ChristpilledBuff SoyjaksCalarts/calm/CensorslopChuddified soyjaksChud-Troon AllianceCoffeejaksColorjaksCorn cobCricketjaksDeformed soyjaksDoctosDreamworksFactjaksFemjaksFingerboysFishjaksFruitjaksGlowiejaksGodjaksGradientsonIT'S OVERJakeJannyjaksKate HikesLoganMatchajaksNatejaksNo more brother warsNPC soyjaksOMGSISAOminous soyjaksPunisher FaceSay the line, WojakSeanSelfish Little FucksShadowjaksSidejaksSkeletonjaksSlopjaksSoytrioSquirrelThe Holy TrinityThe Rhodes ColossusThougherTragedyjakkingTranny hanging from a treeYehudyakimYotsoybaYou don't understand, I'm only 29, 29 is young!Zillyjaks