Soyjakking
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This page is a gemerald. Soyjakking is a gemerald.
Soyjakking, also known as 'jakking in Soyspeak, is an ancient artform centered around the creation and posting of 'jaks. This page is a definitive guide for new 'jakkers on how to create gemmy 'jaks. There are also many essays written by soyteens that attempt to elucidate 'jakking, one such essay can be found here.
Before continuing, (You) should always remember that Soyjaks were originally made to mock soyboys, though this was blown heavily out of proportion by 4chans /qa/ by turning them into postmodern absurdist inside jokes.
Setup[edit | edit source]
On how to make a Soyjak, you need something to set your stuff up, preferably;
- An operating system with the Linux-libre kernel
so that you don't get buttfucked by glowies, - Access to your neighbours' Wi-Fi without their knowledge,
- Hard drive encryption software like VeraCrypt,
- A microwave nearby so you can fry your HDD at any given moment,
- A painting program, preferably either Paint.Net, GIMP, or MS Paint,
- Practice making shapes,
- Then, if the practice is done, you should be able to make a Soyjak, just don't make a dusty 'jak (see 2nd section),
General Guidelines[edit | edit source]
You VVILL avoid things mentioned in this section and, hopefully, you won't end up becoming the creator of Poopson.
- Anti-aliasing,
- Thick eyebrows,
- Iris,
- Glasses lacking handles,
- No forehead wrinkes/mouth lines,
- Stubble made up of the same lines,
Remember that 'jaks are kind of like the free market (oh my lolbertarianism) and that if yours doesn't really have a purpose for existing, a niche so to say, it probably won't be used by other 'teens that much.
FACT: If one has to force a variant then it most likely wasn't good to begin with. You will NOT apply this logic to Cobson.
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Another set of guidelines; take them with a grain of sproke thoughever
Assets[edit | edit source]
Modular Variants (more HD templates can be found in [needs archive[1] this] stickied thread)[edit | edit source]
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The sacred ancestor -
Soyak. Look below for his glasses -
Soyak beard -
A24 -
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Markiplier soyjak -
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Feraljak -
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Wholesome soyjak -
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Bernd hanged -
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Impish Soyak Ears -
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Nojak -
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Chudjak -
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Cobson front view -
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Accessories[edit | edit source]
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Soyak and Chudjaks glasses (ev&oe the side part of Chudjaks is slightly smaller) -
Gapejaks glasses -
Feraljaks glasses -
Cobsons glasses -
Markiplier Soyjaks glasses -
Award template
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The badge of Soyteens. -
For the most sophisticated of individuals. -
Terryjak glasses -
Serious Hat -
Hands pointing to "FACT" sign -
Blank X seconds/minutes/hours/days/months/years/decades/centuries spent on X thing -
Cozy blanket for soyjaks to be in. -
3rd anniversary hat. -
Rope (don't worry nobody was hung :) -
Make sure to sew your ears on!
Faces[edit | edit source]
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Feraljaks face -
Cobsons face -
Markiplier Soyjaks face -
Wholesome Soyjak face -
Chudjak face -
Punisher Face -
Grinlook Poggers face
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Soyak mouth -
Markiplier Soyjaks mouth -
Wholesome Soyjak grin/Impish Soyak Ears grin -
>ACK! -
OMGSISA -
Chudjak hair -
Jew nose -
feraljak angry mouth -
feraljak mouth -
cobson mouth -
alicia mouth -
Bodies[edit | edit source]
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Science lovers body -
Looking up at you -
Nobody sitting at the computer -
Showing you something on the phone -
Drinking coffee out of a cup template -
Common diaper body template -
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Tools of the Trade[edit | edit source]
All of these tools are free to use. Photoshop is the only exception as it can be made free.Image editors[edit | edit source]
Microsoft Paint[edit | edit source]
Microsoft Windows's default image editor. Not recommended because it forces antialiasing doe.
paint.net[edit | edit source]
paint.net is somewhat similar to paint, thoughever you can choose multiple brush sizes with aliasing and apply effects, plug-ins for such exist and are recommended, like if you want to make a deformed soyjak, there's a plugin or two for that!
GIMP (Green Is My Pepper[Marge...])[edit | edit source]
This one also has enhanced functionality but is entirely free software.
Lunapic[edit | edit source]
Simple online editor, no annoyances / many ads.
https://www3.lunapic.com/editor/
Nobasu[edit | edit source]
Good for deformed soyjaks.
Adobe Photoshop[edit | edit source]
Has potential for making high-quality 'jaks. Adobe is a bunch of selfish greedy little fucks and you would just be selling your soul to them, so just pirate this application. Visit the linked article to learn how.
Drawing[edit | edit source]
Krita[edit | edit source]
Basically the photoshop of drawing. Its very powerful and can do a lot.
Photopea[edit | edit source]
Actually pretty competent web based application. Not really customizable though, so you are just stuck whatever the defaults are.
Medibang Paint[edit | edit source]
Just about the same thing as Krita, but it is easier to pick up and use. Like to spam you with popups though.
Ibis Paint[edit | edit source]
Has versions for both windows and mobile. Has the pluses and downsides of being an mobile first experience, but otherwise actually pretty competent.
Inkscape[edit | edit source]
Basically GIMP but for drawing.
Blender[edit | edit source]
A free 3D modeling graphics software. It can do animation as well. Up there in terms with serious professional software. Use Paint 3D if you dont know how to model.
Gif Makers[edit | edit source]
EZGif[edit | edit source]
Used for simple gif edition, adding text to a gif, making gifs out of multiple images, cropping, resizing, also some basic effects to add to a gif.
Metademolab[edit | edit source]
Uses AI to make drawings / pictures dance or do different gestures.
https://sketch.metademolab.com/canvas
3dGifMaker[edit | edit source]
Website which offers many fancy gif animations to choose from, doesn't allow adblockers.
PoyoPoyo Gif Maker[edit | edit source]
Another website that allows you to add simple animations to an image. The website is in Japanese, but easy to use.
https://poyopoyo.gifanimaker.com
Wonder of Wonder[edit | edit source]
Lets you draw something and make it dance to some Vocaloid song.
PetPet[edit | edit source]
Pets the image you upload and makes a gif out of it.
https://benisland.neocities.org/petpet/
Deep Meme Fryer[edit | edit source]
Fry, do anything to a single png. Fun.
Photomosh[edit | edit source]
Has over 200 effects, can squeeze lots of gems.
Video editors[edit | edit source]
Kdenlive[edit | edit source]
Free video editor software that's good for simple edits and clipping longer videos.
Sony Vegas Pro[edit | edit source]
Advanced video-editing tool for the best of SMVs.
https://www.vegascreativesoftware.com/au/vegas-pro/
Adobe Premiere Pro[edit | edit source]
This has a paywall too.
https://www.adobe.com/au/products/premiere.html
DaVinci Resolve[edit | edit source]
Le advanced or something.
https://www.blackmagicdesign.com/products/davinciresolve
Alight Motion[edit | edit source]
Compatible for Mobilecaca and Computercaca devices. Warp and Distortion effects, as such as other effects can squeeze lots of gems.
CapCut
[edit | edit source]
To be researched: What about opencut.app doe? Can (You) help us? Simple video editor, lets you choose from many templates. Used usually to make shitty montages with jaks. Good features are locked behind a premium paywall and its bad because of datamining and etc.
Enshittified by the greedy fucks over at ByteDance. Don't use this.
AI[edit | edit source]
A better list of AI generated tools in general can be found here: https://artificialanalysis.ai/ (click Leaderboards > Anything you want (i.e. text to video)PixVerse[edit | edit source]
Free and good AI video maker. Watermark is easily bypassable. 60 credits a day (one default generation is 20 credits, so roughly 3 default generations a day).
Hailuo[edit | edit source]
Freemium Video AI Maker with limited credits on signup. Takes a bit to generate the videos, 5 seconds long. The tool of choice for making AI gigachads.
(Creating Google accounts on Google-made devices grants no 2FA input and allows you to spam accounts easily without requiring 200 phone numbers.)
Sora[edit | edit source]
A new form of bone-chilling AI-generated kino, in development, has sound, limited to a certain selection of countries so use a VPN, prompts are filtered, 100 video generation limit per day.
Google Veo 3[edit | edit source]
Probably the best AI video generator currently available, requires a subscription or something, only ever used for the Soyjak Movie. https://aistudio.google.com/models/veo-3
https://aistudio.google.com/models/veo-3
https://tryveo3.ai/features/v3 - Generate 2 free videos
https://t.me/videovvbot - Pay per each generation instead of a subscription
Viggle AI[edit | edit source]
Fun for slapping admins faces over random videos you find on the internet.
Suno[edit | edit source]
Used for usually Jartycuck / Shemmyslut parodies. AI Song maker.
PikaArt[edit | edit source]
You can crush, cakeify, melt images with this AI video generator, there are even more options.
Turned into coal. Don't use this.
See also[edit | edit source]
- ↑ https://megalodon.jp/2025-1006-0635-12/https://soyjak.st:443/r/thread/14470.html https://archive.ph/WL2wW Archives of the sticked thread.
