CURRENT MISSION: Conclude the 2026 soyjak.party hack page, aswell as any pages relating to it, such as the Summer 2026 Crisis page.
Update Quotecord with any relevant info. See the blackboard for more info.
Soyak
Soyak, often called Soyjak or Soijak, is a high quality, untraced, well drawn edit of the Wojak meme depicted as a soyboy. He is THE Soyjak, and is best known for his glasses, scraggly beard, and usually wide open mouth. The wide-mouthed expression he often has is known as the "Soylent Grin", and usually indicates that he is happy. He's also the gem that started it all.
He loves Soylent and Goytendo so much that he makes it his whole personality. Soyak is a rollable name on soyjak.party.
Origin
Main article: Origin of Soyjak
Soyak in his most well-known form, the "classic soyjak variant", was first posted to /int/ by The Swede on December 30, 2017.[1] (Swedish win btw)
On September 1, 2021, Soyjak historians on /qa/ unearthed bombshell evidence that called into question everything we know about the origin of Soyjak by discovering possible "first jak" candidates which pre-dated the timescale for the previously-accepted "Out of Swedish Win" theory.[3]
As of 2026, research into this topic is still ongoing.
Early life (>I heckin love fanfiction!!!111)
John "Soyak" Hawbag was born in San Francisco, California On December 30th, 1987 to a Swedish immigrant mother named Mary Hawbag and a Swedish immigrant father named Tom Hawbag. Throughout his life, he always happily took whatever meds he was prescribed by Dr. Soyberg, washed down with soymilk. He was fed processed, microwaved and frozen food with poor nutrition as a child, which is the reason he is 5’4 (162 cm) in height today. And when he found out Dr. Soyberg died in October 2020, He went to his Funeral, He is Also Friends with Mulletjak.
He graduated from UC, Berkeley with a computer science degree in 2008 and has been working at Apple and Mr. Kiwi since then. He is In the UC Computer Science Class of 2008.
Likes
- Nintendo Switch, and Nintendo in general
- Jews
- iDubbbz
- Capeshit
- Cuckoldry
- His mixed race son (Jerome and his wife's child)
- Meds
- Bugs
- Talking about xis Nintendo Switch on Reddit
- Living in a sealed pod
- Wearing masks
- BBC
- Thanos memes
- Soylent
- Jefre Cantu-Ledesma
- Palestine (hates israel)
- The Science (even doe he can barely understand it EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SCIENCE HAS DEBOONKED CHUDDIES or however the bugs are eaten)
- Brands that support BLM and trans rights
- Progressive Democracies
- Klaus Schwab(rest in power!!!) and his other WEF overlords
Twitter(twitter is ran by a heckin fascist associated with the orange man!)- Bluesky
- Breakfast For Dinner
- Hot sauce collections
- Bone-chilling slow burns
- His Funko Pop collection
- Sour Candy
- Optimistic nihilism
- Whatever the image poster doesn't like
- Apple/Products from Apple
- Ukraine
- Neoliberalism
- 90s games
- Comic books
- Antinatalism (unless its wholesome r/bipoc kids)
- Taking his wife’s last name
- Communism
- George Floyd
Dislikes
- Actual Hard Sciences
- 4chan
- Chuds
- Bloodmouths
- Exercising
- Homemade meals
- Rural people (except asian soy farmers)
- Shaving
- Israel
- soyjak.party (
- Transphobia
- Homophobia
- Racism
- Toxic masculinity
- People with negative Reddit karma
- Jumpscares
- Science deniers and questioners
- Whatever the image poster likes
- Critical thinking (requires Ibuprofen and Xanax)
- Being called a cuck
- Work
- Zoomers
- AI art
- ICE
- BWC
- Police
- Fascists (anyone they dont like)
Reception
2017
When this classic gem was first created, it didn't gain much attention, but after the meme caught on and other variants started being made, it came to be despised by some 4chan users for beginning the trend of soyjak spam. It is safe to say that 'jakkers have always considered Soyak to be a gemerald.
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