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Vlodson: Difference between revisions

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{{Deadforcedmeme}}{{tw|{{Quoting|Kill yourself Vlodson pedo. If the only way you can get people to interact with your shitty variant in any way is by forcing it and pissing people off, then your OC is shit. Why the FUCK should I even bother making OC anymore if it barely gets any engagement compared to the countless bait and your forced slop? I want to scatter you and your "soyjak's" head across the pavement, I shall watch you bleed out as I dash your skull against the rocks. I will crush your head beneath my shoe and watch your blood cover the ground. I want to do the same to your pathetic "soyjak". Bleed out Vlodsontranny. Fuck you and die.|[[H3K]]}}|
{{Deadforcedmeme}}{{tw|{{Quoting|Kill yourself Vlodson pedo. If the only way you can get people to interact with your shitty variant in any way is by forcing it and pissing people off, then your OC is shit. Why the FUCK should I even bother making OC anymore if it barely gets any engagement compared to the countless bait and your forced slop? I want to scatter you and your "soyjak's" head across the pavement, I shall watch you bleed out as I dash your skull against the rocks. I will crush your head beneath my shoe and watch your blood cover the ground. I want to do the same to your pathetic "soyjak". Bleed out Vlodsontranny. Fuck you and die.|[[H3K]]}}|{{Contaminated}}
{{Angry}}}}
{{Angry}}
}}
{{bait}}
{{bait}}
{{Brimstone|content={{Echoes|VLODSTEIN}} IS FORCED NAS SHITSTONE FROM THE FIERY DEPTHS AND SHIT-FILLED WASTELANDS OF [[Niggerhell|NIGGERHELL]]!}}{{Infobox Soyjak
{{Brimstone|content={{Echoes|VLODSTEIN}} IS FORCED NAS SHITSTONE FROM THE FIERY DEPTHS AND SHIT-FILLED WASTELANDS OF [[Niggerhell|NIGGERHELL]]!}}{{Infobox Soyjak

Revision as of 23:54, 17 November 2025

Archived template in use: {{Deadforcedmeme}}. You VVILL remove it from the page, NOW.

> Kill yourself Vlodson pedo. If the only way you can get people to interact with your shitty variant in any way is by forcing it and pissing people off, then your OC is shit. Why the FUCK should I even bother making OC anymore if it barely gets any engagement compared to the countless bait and your forced slop? I want to scatter you and your "soyjak's" head across the pavement, I shall watch you bleed out as I dash your skull against the rocks. I will crush your head beneath my shoe and watch your blood cover the ground. I want to do the same to your pathetic "soyjak". Bleed out Vlodsontranny. Fuck you and die. <
H3K
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Template:Contaminated

This page, and its contents... /calm/ing???NO, FUCK YOU AND DIE
Vlodson smells like bait.

Archived template in use: {{Brimstone}}. You VVILL remove it from the page, NOW.

Vlodson is an amalgamation nuvariant. It was forced by an avatarfag who first claimed to have joined the sharty in 2023, before changing the date to 2022 and later 2021. Contrary to popular belief, this page was not created by him, and was most likely created by his 'cord xister.

The variant was samefagged to the point where 5 "subvariants" were made in less than a week. There is also a subvariant called Thremboson[2] for some reason, which contains more IAS characteristics such as a beard and open mouth. It is unknown who created Thremboson and who all is forcing him, but he has been spotted in multiple soyquotes[3], along with edits such as a Doctos version[4]. It's suspected that Thremboson was created by a Vlodson hater as a form of retaliation. Due to a recent derailing of a 'cuck argument thread, it has been discovered that one Thremboson poster is from Germany.[5]

Due to Vlodson essentially being an avatarfag hiding behind a "variant", some teens had resorted to posting the variant for the first time since its inception as a form of bait. However this was far less comon than would be expected, indicating that Vlodson was so coaly even most baiters didn't want anything to do with him. Posts from the real avatarfag can be identified by mentions of "Vlodson Derangement Syndrome" and Vlodson "ruining your day".[6] Due to the difficulty in differentiating the two, it is easier to assume that all of it is bait, and it is recommended that you supersage, spam, or hide any thread forcing this vantablack nuvariant. The samefag forcing this brimmy variant has since had xis name permanently set to "Vlodson" by QVQTE nevermind they removed xis name because xhe used xis nameroll to become even more of a massive attentionwhoring faggot.

It's widely considered to be a dead variant now that nobody even cares about the "variant" (well, nobody actually cared about it to begin with, the only difference is that far fewer 'teens are responding to the Vlodsonfag) but every now and then the Vlodsonfag will force xer slop for around half an hour, before inevitably being banned for 12 hours.

Design

Vlodson is an amalgam of many variants at once: NAS (likely Wojak) edit of Nojak was taken as a basis, when much smaller ears and nose from Impjak were attached to it. Both eyes were taken from Cobson's right eye. Finally, the mouth was taken from baby edit of Amerimutt. Nobody actually looks like Vlodson, so it's impossible to use it for soyquoting or OC creation. The combination of all these gems created the most brimmy variant of all time. Many have gone as far as to call him the prophesized Poopson.

Criticism

  • Some soyteens criticize as NAS:
    • Vlodson utterly and miserably fails to meet any standard of qualifiing as a soyjak, it lacks a stubble, it has no glasses, and is rarely (if ever) used to mock soyboys in any capacity.
  • It is unsuitable for both soyquoting and self-inserting:
    • This is because of the fact that nobody looks like Vlodson, as well as the fact that it is an incredibly ugly piece of shit to look at. which would normally drive off any desire for anyone to self-insert as Vlodson (of course, except for the Vlodsontranny xerself).
    • One could argue that it can be used to mock slavs, but there are clearly much better variants you can use to actually mock slavs.
  • It lacks a unique niche
    • Vlodson lacks any charm that most other variants have, and as such is useless for anyone who desires to make OC. Over the course of the Sharty's history, there have been many different variants that have appeared, and because of the fact that it is really difficult to make a popular nuvariant, it is safe to say that nearly every soyjak phenotype has been discovered, with the popular variants having a key use. Vlodson on the other hand has none of the characteristics of being a good variant, and if it weren't for the relentless forcing, it would've been forgotten about long ago. Do you want to depict slavs? Use Kuzjak or that one subvariant of Tyrone that I forgot the name of (wait I remember what the subnas is called now, it's called "Bóbr" or the "kurwa guy".) Do you want to depict babies/children? Simple, use the Babyjak. Do you perhaps want to depict something ugly? Not a problem, use Meximutt, or make the ten gorillionth slopjak of the namefag that you dislike. Do you want to self-insert for some reason? That's fine, just use Neutralplier or Cobson. The point being, literally every possible way you can think of using Vlodson (if you are deranged or retarded enough to consider using this pathetic excuse of a "variant") can be substituted and replaced with a pre-existing variant/subvariant that can do the job ten times better.
  • Recently the Vlodsonfag has tried to make up for the fact that Vlodson is useless NAS shitstone by saying that the purpose of this """soyjak""" is actually to mock the userbase, like some sort of "meta-ironic commentary", even though there is an edit of Alicia that already fulfills this purpose. Vlodsonfag is also a Vlodsonnigger, showing his hand in a thread where he asks people how to filter a frogGOD spamming soymojis in his brimstone threads.[7]
  • ^Words words words, we all get the point nigga, it sucks.

The GET

On August 21st 2025, Vlodson was BTFO by post 12777777[8], it reading "dont let vlodson steal it", in reference to the GET itself. This has sealed Vlodson's fate as both coal and sharty culture.

Vlodson also got the 222222 get on /int/ on the 26th of September, 2025.[9] (it's a dead nigger board primarily used by third-worlder shitskins of course something like this was going to happen)

Gallery

Snopes

Vlodson is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Visit the Soyjak Variants portal for more.

Main variants

Variants with 1,000+ SoyBooru posts

SoyakA24 Slow-Burn SoyjakAliciaBerndBrandonChudjakCobsonCryboy SoyjakEl Perro RabiosoExcited SoyjakFeraljakGapejakImpish Soyak EarsKuzjakMarkiplier SoyjakMeximuttNojakShirtjakSmugjakSoytanTony Soprano SoyjakTwo Soyjaks PointingVlodson

Other variants

Common variants (Variants with 100-999 SoyBooru posts)

3kliksjakAbortion LoverAngryjakBeastjakBlakjakBudgiejakCatjakChugsjakCirrusCobbertCoinjakDubbbzjakDylanjakESAMET SoyjakFatjakFisheyejakFlartson

GodjakHot SauceHeadjakHydejakImhotepImpish SoyakIsaacIshish Soyak EarsIsraeli SoyjakItsoutgetinhereLennonjakMarkiplier Soyjak 2MonkeyjakMulletjakNotejakNorwegian SoyjakParrotjakPissluffarePlatejakPPPProtestantjakPunkjak'ojakReaction SoyjakRupturejakShotjakSidsonSlitherjakSmugletSnoojakSobotSoykio KidSyndromejakUncjakWeirdpenisYurjak

Miscellaneous


5'6 jak6soylentAsmattrBillyBinocular JakBlakjakBlartjakBlackpill JakBritsonBrojakBuckteeth SoyjakBurgerjakCasnatusCadojakChai BreakfastCheckjakChildutCigsonCrabjakCrimjakCutejakDaedalusonDarkiplierDnBjakDumjacqueEric ButtsEpsteinjakEviljakFat soyjak glassesFlubbertGimperGoopjakGuestjakHalojakHawleyjakHerculesHobojakIgnatiusJarboyJimmy NumaleKai CenatLactoriajakMamesonMentaljakMicroplasticsjakNeckbeardjakNeojakNostaljakNpestajakOranjakPacinojakPatriotjakPeasonPhillipPillsjakPolicejakQuirkjakScoutroosterShabbosjakSlatejakSloppySlurpjakSnopesjakSoyladyStuSusjakTalkingballjakThps_soyjakThunderf00tTrumpjakTvjakUglyfuckingthingUnijakUnpaintbucketable NiggerVidyajakVolcanojakWaljakWhalejakZjakZoomer on computervariant:unknownMarney

Soyjak trends

AmerimuttAre you soying what I'm soyingBabyjaksBased and ChristpilledBuff SoyjaksCalarts/calm/CensorslopChuddified soyjaksChud-Troon AllianceCoffeejaksColorjaksCorn cobCricketjaksDeformed soyjaksDoctosDreamworksFactjaksFemjaksFingerboysFishjaksFruitjaksGlowiejaksGodjaksGradientsonIT'S OVERJakeJannyjaksKate HikesLoganMatchajaksNatejaksNo more brother warsNPC soyjaksOMGSISAOminous soyjaksPunisher FaceSay the line, WojakSeanSelfish Little FucksShadowjaksSidejaksSkeletonjaksSlopjaksSoytrioSquirrelThe Holy TrinityThe Rhodes ColossusThougherTragedyjakkingTranny hanging from a treeYehudyakimYotsoybaYou don't understand, I'm only 29, 29 is young!Zillyjaks

Vlodson
is part of a series on
the coal that is killing /soy/